


Love Sighted

by maeraecopes, theminiummark



Series: Love Sighted [1]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Bombing, Eventual Sex, Eventual mpreg, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Major Character Injury, Modern Royalty, Mpreg, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-06 23:51:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 67,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4241406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maeraecopes/pseuds/maeraecopes, https://archiveofourown.org/users/theminiummark/pseuds/theminiummark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Evgeni Malkin needed to find a spouse before his 26th birthday or his family would be in disgrace for not upholding one of the oldest traditions of the Crown. Sidney, knowing the crown prince to be honorable, knew he never would get a better offer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cover Art

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to the amazing northisnotup for all of her help with idea bouncing, beta reading, and in general just being her and to anon8771 for also great ideas and amazing encouragement! Now, go read their stuff.
> 
> Updates on this fic will be about every two weeks, as I am still working on writing and editing!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love Sighted Cover Art


	2. Chapter 2

Sergei Gonchar considered himself a pragmatic man. As a close friend of the king, he knew that there would often be things outside of his expertise that would be asked of him, regardless if it was comfortable for him or not. When said king and his lovely queen had called him up to check on a potential spouse for their son, he couldn’t really say no.

 

He recalled the meeting he had with Vladimir and Natalia earlier that month. He had been shown into the smaller, personal receiving room in the couple’s wing of the palace. He was met with smiles and back slaps as they sat down to tea.

 

“Thank you for joining us, Seryozha.”

 

He waved off their pleasantries. “Really, you know I am always willing to visit, no matter the cause. But I am sensing there is something rather serious you wanted to discuss, if your email was any indication.”

 

The king and queen exchanged a glance and Natalia set her cup back in its saucer. Folding her hands in her lap, she met his gaze in all seriousness.

 

“Zhenya has asked us to find him a spouse. He told us he is as ready as he will ever be, but he does not feel confident with being objective enough to find someone on his own. As you know, the traditional deadline for his marriage close at hand. He will be 26 at the end of July.”

 

Sergei nodded. The entire nation had been waiting to see what the prince would do about the tradition. But the circumstances were so unusual. Zhenya had lost his young wife to a tragic car accident three years ago. Taken so suddenly, the prince had been mourning and had made no moves that would give the people any indication that he would be ready to move on. There had been no one in those three years.

 

But Zhenya loves his people and their traditions. He was aware of the sacrifices he needed to make to be a good leader.

 

“What do you need from me? I’m assuming you need me to help in some way, but to be honest I don’t know how I can help.”

 

The king smiled. “You remember Mario, our Major General?”

 

Sergei snorted. Did he remember Mario. “Only the best we had, and he was never leary of having you serve under him.”

 

Vladimir chuckled. “He is owner and director of a veteran rehabilitation facility and hospital. I had mentioned to him Zhenya’s request. He mentioned that he had someone who he thought would be a good fit for Zhenya and the crown.”

 

“They are hosting an event to honor our old regiment. Mario said that he would be speaking at the banquet.”

 

“He?”

 

This time Natalia spoke up, voice gentle. “Zhenya has never been picky. As he has told us, he only looks for a connection, a spark. That is all he needs to lead into love. After thinking on it for a while, I think a male spouse may also allow Zhenya to love again, in a different way.”

 

Sergei nodded. “So you want me to feel him out, see if he would be a good fit?”

 

The king sat back, satisfied. “We trust your judgement. If you think he would be open to hearing from the king and queen about a possible marriage to their son, then it is something we will feel confident in exploring. We don’t want to upset his privacy, upset his world, and then say, ‘I’m sorry, we’ve just found out you’re unsuitable for our son.’”

 

“Alright. What’s his name?”

 

“Sidney Crosby.”

 

~~~~

 

Sidney was feeling a little stressed. You wouldn’t know it by looking at him, but he was hoping that this event would go well.

 

The Veteran’s Council banquet was held every year and honored different companies and units of the National Armed Forces. Specifically, the event was a fundraiser for the hospital and rehabilitation facilities located in the capital.

 

This year was especially important to Sid. His mentor and good friend would be honored tonight with his regiment. Mario had served with many good men, including members of the Royal Family. Normally, as Chairman of the Veteran’s Council, Mario welcomed the guests with a speech and presentation of the past year’s successes within the Council. This year, he had asked Sidney to honor him by presenting.

 

As he faced the mirror in the tiny bathroom just off to the back of the stage, Sid tugged down his vest and smoothed down his bow-tie. He pursed his lips as he gave himself one last once over, before turning sharply to take the stage.

 

~~

 

Sergei didn’t expect what he found.

 

If he wasn’t married and preferred women, he would be sweeping this young lad off into the sunset. He was perfect. Self assured and demure, with a fair face and striking smile, Sidney Crosby was certainly a catch. Sergei would never forget the first time he met him: he was speaking to a large crowd. His voice was smooth and soulful; Sidney’s stage presence was poised, yet aloof. He had presented himself as merely the vessel for his words and had the whole of all attending hanging on his every word. This was definitely someone who he could see as a fitting consort to the Crown Prince.

 

His old friend, Mario, was Sidney’s supervisor. From what Mario had told Sergei, Sidney was a long way from home, but felt his work very important. He worked with those who had come home whole, but are now plagued by flashbacks and terrors. Also, he was lonely. In Mario’s subtle way, he had mentioned that a marriage between Sidney and the Prince could solve a lot of problems.

 

Just a glimpse had already convinced Sergei. He watched as Sidney finished his rounds at yet another table and walked towards the refreshments. Sergei caught Mario’s eye across the room and lifted his champagne glass. This was indeed a match that needed to happen.

 

~~

 

“Sid, I want you to meet someone.”

 

Sidney turned as Mario gently grasped his elbow to turn him about to face him. Sid smiled at the man accompanying him.

 

“This is Sergei Gonchar. We served together for a while in my younger days and keep in touch. He works for the Crown now.”

 

“Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Gonchar. Are you enjoying the evening? We hope this has been a special night for you and the other members of your regiment.” Sid reached out to return the clasp of Sergei with a firm shake.

 

“Certainly, it has been wonderful. Mario was telling me that you work at a councilor at the rehabilitation house. That must be difficult work.”

 

Sidney felt himself brightening as his work was mentioned. Not too many people were interested in what he did, but Sidney found it important. Finding himself caught up in explaining his passion and sharing a few stories, he missed the look that passed between Mario and Sergei.

 

~~

 

As the evening wore on, Sergei was more convinced than ever that this was the man for Zhenya.

 

“Why exactly, Seryozha?” The King questioned him when they spoke on the phone the next morning.

 

“At the risk of you thinking I’m falling for him, he really is perfect. He has been raised well and Mario couldn’t keep his pride in check. We never ran out of things to talk about and Sidney was gracious and intelligent with an obvious love for his work with others. If my girls were older, this is the exact potential spouse I would want them to meet.”

 

“Thank you, Seryozha, for all your help. I believe the queen and I will write a letter to Mr. Crosby. Do you think he will receive it well?”

 

“Absolutely. You will probably send him for a loop, but from what I know of him, he’s a very level headed young man.”

 

After passing along Sidney’s address at the VA rehabilitation center they hung up. Sergei felt confident that they soon would be seeing a new spouse for the Prince.

 

~~

Sidney was hiding in a janitor's closet. He had ducked into the first doorway he could find that wasn’t already occupied.

 

He was still freaking out.

 

Moment’s earlier, Sid was following his normal Thursday routine. At 9:50 a.m. he left his office to grab coffee and anything left in his mailbox at reception, then head to his first group session at 10.

 

Needless to say, that went all out the window when he saw what was waiting for him.

 

It’s not every day that the King and Queen take to write you personally.

 

Sidney let out a hysterical laugh. He had only read through about a fourth of the letter before he needed to shut himself up with the push brooms and mops for company.

 

Sidney mentally shook himself. This was no time to freak out. He would put it out of his mind until he could read it and process what it said. He had time this afternoon. It would just have to wait.

 

~~

 

Sidney stared at Mario as he sat across his desk. Sidney had cornered him in his office after he had read the letter.

 

He still wasn’t sure he read it right.

 

“The King and Queen asked you if they could contact me? Why?”

 

Sidney could see him try, and fail, to hold in a grin. “I know you think it is hard to believe, Sid, but you really are an admirable young man. The king and queen asked Sergei - you remember him, don’t you, he was here for the banquet a few weeks ago - anyway. They asked him to help them find a suitable spouse for the crown prince.”

 

Sidney hadn’t lost his stare. If anything, his eyes were starting to look a little glazed over. Of course he remembered Sergei. They had a great conversation about team sport and PTSD; most people wouldn’t have stood still with him that long to listen to all of his rambling.  Mario covered his snort of amusement with a cough into his hand, effectively breaking him out of his shock.

 

Startled, he looked down, speaking to his clasped hands. “They don’t know anything about me. Why would they be interested in a counselor for veterans? Why would the Prince be interested, for that matter?”

 

“Well, part of that is my fault.”

 

Sidney brought his eyes abruptly back up to meet Mario’s. “Why do you say that?”

 

“I’m the one who suggested that Sergei meet you at the banquet. The king and I meet every three or four weeks as our schedules let us to gossip, and he mentioned his latest talk with his son. I’ll be honest, you immediately came to mind. You make a great first impression, Sid, and once people get to know you, they like you all the more.”

 

Sidney didn’t know what to say to that.

 

This whole situation was crazy. Life was not a fairy tale. But Sidney was nothing except loyal. He did love his country. He had a lot to think about.

 

Mario was looking at him shrewdly over his clasped hands. “Sidney, I know this is a shock. I know both the king and queen want what is best for their son and the kingdom. They aren’t looking to pressure or persuade, but I know they are very serious about pursuing this. You need to think carefully about what they are asking and whether or not you should meet with them in person, as they asked. I am biased about you, I think of you as one of my own, but I’m not a blind idiot. You would do the prince proud.”

 

Sidney smiled at him before pursing his lips in thought. He would need to reply, though. Should he type it? Or hand write it? Hand writing might be better…

 

“Sid, I didn’t mean this very second. Go do your thinking in your office, or wherever.” Mario’s amusement was loud with his words as he stood to walk around his desk. Settling his hands on Sid’s shoulders, he smiled down at him.

 

“Whatever you decide, Sid, make sure it is right for you. Don’t do something that will make you miserable. This is a marriage and though it may be for convenience, you could have the opportunity for something far greater. Think about that, eh?”

 

Sidney nodded, sighing loudly. Mario was right. There was no sense it getting worked up without even knowing all of the details.

 

He would just have to wait and see what they would say. Who knows, they may meet him and think him all wrong and all of his worrying would be for nothing.

 

Feeling calmer and determined, he pushed to his feet, laying his hand on Mario’s back in thanks. After exchanging smiles, Sid left to go write his reply.

 

~~

 

“Hello, Sidney, thank you for taking the time to meet with us.” The king and queen smiled at him as they joined him in sitting at Mario’s dining table. “We want you to feel free to ask us anything, anything at all.”

 

Sidney smiled at them both briefly, before looking down at the paper he had unfolded in his lap. “Thank you for even considering me, in the first place. Please don’t hesitate to ask me anything, as well.”

 

The queen was glad that Sidney’s attention was diverted. She needed a few minutes to compose herself. Ever since they had started conversing through email, she had wanted to giggle like a school girl. Sidney was such a sweet young man. She was already letting her mind run away with her about the couple they could become.

 

“I feel a little strange asking this question,” Sidney began cautiously, “but it is rather important to me.”

 

The queen smiled warmly at Sidney. “Please don’t worry. We know this is a bit of an unusual circumstance. Please ask.”

 

Sidney still looked a little uncomfortable, but smiled back. “Why isn't the prince handling this himself?”

 

The queen glanced at her husband before clearing her throat. “I’m going to be very honest with you, Sidney. Zhenya is still very much in love with his first spouse. He never grew distant after her death, but it was unexpected and he still misses her terribly. He came to us some weeks ago now and simply asked us to handle things for his future wedding and spouse. He is willing to marry again to uphold the traditions, but he doesn’t feel up to dating or a huge wedding.”

 

Sidney nodded, looking thoughtful. “Why is he so willing to marry someone else, if he is so in love? And with a man?”

 

“I can’t promise that he’ll love you with all his heart, Sidney, but Zhenya will be faithful and committed to your marriage. He has always been attracted to both genders, but simply fell in love with a woman. To be blunt, I think a man would help Zhenya love again, if given the opportunity.”

 

“Would I live at the palace?”

 

“Yes, you would live with Zhenya in his wing.”

 

“What would I do?”

 

“Probably something similar to what you do know, with the exception of working exclusively at the rehabilitation center. You will have a much more public persona, but that does not mean you will have to give up what you love to do.”

 

Sidney paused for a moment and looked inquiring towards them. “Are there any questions you have for me?”

 

“We do have quite a few, but we wanted to give you a chance to ask, first,“ the king answered warmly. “This is a time of discovery for us. We are learning from you, just through your questions. Get to know us, and we’ll ask what we are curious of as well.”

 

Sidney looked thoughtful for a minute before smiling more openly. “I really like to play hockey, and have quite the hoard of gear,” he admitted, a little sheepishly. The queen smiled in delight. This young man is perfect, such a lovely combination of confidence and questions. “I also have a car and a bike.”

 

“There is plenty of room for all of your things. You will have the space to bring whatever you please. This will be your home, Sidney. We will want you comfortable.” The queen smothered her smile as her answer made his shoulders relax just that little bit more.

 

“And the prince won’t mind?” The queen could see that Sidney was particularly caught on this question. She admired that Sidney was willing to put her son first, but it was also important to remember himself.

 

“Sidney, while you will be living with Zhenya, you will have your own space and rooms. As your relationship develops, that could change, but there is certainly plenty of room for you. I know that Zhenya is lonely and as he has asked us for help to fulfill this part of his life, we hope you will be comfortable and happy in your position in the court and our lives.” She smiled in sympathy as Sidney’s brows drew together and his lips pursed.

 

“But why me?” Sidney blurted out. “Why doesn’t the prince marry someone he knows?”

 

The king looked at him gravely. “We have thought of that. and at first it would seem to make sense, but in truth, Zhenya isn’t drawn to anyone he already knows. He has told us he feels that it would be very awkward, especially if he began seeing someone and it didn’t work. This way, you both are coming together on level ground. “

 

“But what if it doesn’t work out for us?”

 

“If you honestly don’t think it will work, then we don’t want you to consider it at all. This is not an order from us; we don’t want to force you into anything. This is your choice. Our expectation is that this will be a real marriage, not some trial period or time of testing.” The king paused and looked to his wife for guidance. Seeing his need for a little tact, she picked up the thread of conversation.

 

“Listen to me Sidney,” she spoke softly, firm as she would to her own child. Sidney caught her eyes and followed her words. “You may both choose to wait for intimacy, either emotional or physical, but we would want you to marry Zhenya with the mindset that this is forever. Our son trusts our judgement and has committed to us that is his mindset, but if you don’t have the same thoughts on this marriage, we would thank you for taking the time to talk this through, but we would move on.”

 

Sidney looked away out the window and nodded. He did not take the time to answer any more questions, but once again asked of them to open himself to any of their own. The questions that they put to him were not very deep, giving him time to process.

 

The conversation lasted a good part of the afternoon and they all parted feeling fatigued. Sidney politely thanked them both again and impressed upon them that he needed time to seriously consider all that they have spoken on and he didn’t linger with them after excusing them to Mario and Nathalie. He left for his apartment, intending to take the time to really examine what he wanted.

 

~~

 

Sidney could not sleep. His thoughts were whirling around in his mind from the conversation he had with the king and queen. He tried to organize his thoughts, but he was getting stuck. He kept thinking of all the reasons one would get married, if the obvious reason, love, was removed.

 

He kept thinking of the prince. He seemed like he needed someone to take care of him. Sidney was sure he would be able to be that for Zhenya. Was that enough to build a marriage on, though?

 

Sid knew from history that arranged marriages used to be a way of life, and his own familial history has shown that love could grow from such a union. The question remained: would he be able to live with the inevitability of never having love? Or worse, falling for Zhenya and not having his feelings returned.

 

One thing he did know, he mustn’t rush this. There was more than just his heart on the line and he had to be sure of both his heart and his head before responding to the king and queen.

 

~~

 

Sidney was finishing his notes on his last group session for the day when his computer chimed with a new email.

 

Clicking over to his email, his eyes widened as he saw the name of the sender. Evgeni Malkin. Even if they married, Sidney wasn’t sure he would get used to seeing that name in any familiarity.

 

SItting up a bit straighter, Sidney clicked through to the message.

 

Dear Mr. Crosby,

I hope you won’t find me too overbearing in writing, but my father told me about meeting with you, and I wanted to take a few minutes to thank you for your gracious manner in receiving my parents. I can’t imagine the shock in hearing from them, but my mother also reported that you were very hospitable and kind.

Sidney, (I hope you don’t mind me calling you so) my wish for you is to not feel pressured, so this note is simply to advise you in whatever your decision concerning the future, if it is with me, that you would consider our proposal. I, and any in the palace, would be more than happy to assist in any way.

Very Sincerely,

Evgeni Malkin

 

Sid immediately hit reply as he finished the email. He carefully began to type his answer.

 

Dear Prince Evgeni,

Thank you for taking the time to reach out to me. After only conversing with your parents, you will have to forgive me for it not having occurred to me that we might speak this way. I hope you don’t find this presumptuous, but I hope that I might have your permission to ask some questions. I have no wish to pry into anything private or touch on anything you do not wish to share, but I would love the chance to know a little more about you.

If I have been at all offensive or overstepped in some way, please disregard this email. I will understand if you choose not to reply.

Sincerely,

Sidney Crosby

 

As soon as he hit sent, he let out a huge breath he didn’t realize he had been holding back. He only hopes with the first attempt of communication that they might learn more about each other. He found it very impressive that the prince reached out at all. From what his parents had said, he was still in love with his first spouse. Yet, he thanked Sidney for considering to take up the position as his spouse. This can’t have been an easy experience, yet he is trying. Those few lines have also gone a long way to reassure Sid that he is heading toward the right decision, after all.

 

~~

 

Had Sidney been able to see into the future, he would have known how well he had read into to Prince Evgeni’s heart. Zhenya sat at his desk and stared down at the photo of his late wife. He didn’t regret that he had written Sidney Crosby - he was simply desperately sorry there had been a need to do so at all.

 

At that moment, he simply could not see a time when he would not miss her. He made himself set the picture aside. He was meant to be finishing a report on education policy that he was presenting to the council. With the education reform bill heading to parliament, he wanted to make sure they were abreast of the information and their stance before moving forward.

 

If he was going to think of any spouse right now, it needed to be his future spouse, whoever that may be. His parents had been quite taken with Sidney Crosby and he could tell that they were excited that it would end well. It was hard for him not to lash out at his parents. He had asked them to do this for him, as he was still hurting from loss. It killed him every time his parents spoke of Sidney with such care, even this early. Clearly he was a wonderful young man, but his parents had moved on from his wife’s death, while in many ways, he really had not.

 

A soft knock sounded at the door. His house minister, Pascal,  peeked his head around and smiled mischievously. “Mr. Ovechkin is here to see you, your highness.”

 

With that, the other door opened and in swept Zhenya’s closest friend and annoyance, Alex Ovechkin.

 

“Zhenya, you are in big trouble!”

 

Zhenya rolled his eyes and sat back in his chair as Pascal closed the door behind the exuberant man’s entrance. “Me? What did I do, Sasha?”

 

Alex flounced down into the chair before Zhenya’s desk, giving him a mock glare. “It’s what you haven’t been doing.”

 

Zhenya sighed, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the desk and put his head into his hands. “I am not in the mood to party, Sasha.”

 

Alex sobered himself and leveled him a look. “And how are you ever going to move on if you don’t try and get out? You have a deadline to meet.”

 

“You think I don’t know that? It’s just been so difficult. But you may not have worry about it anymore. I have asked Mama and Papa to find me a spouse. I have not been feeling very social since we started discussing it.”

 

“They’ve found someone? Or are they just feeling the water, so to speak?”

 

“They have found a young man, and thought it’s most likely not to happen, I’m worried I’ll run into him and making everything awkward.”

 

“Who is it?”

 

“His name is Sidney Crosby.”

 

Alex blinked. “Does he work at the VA Center, here at the capital?”

 

“I’m not sure. Why?”

 

“When my father was recovering from a bout of COPD last year, a man named Sidney had met with him. I think he is a counselor. Does he have dark hair and a spectacular ass?”

 

Zhenya quirked a smile at Alex, as that was what he was going for, but it didn’t really last. “I have no idea what he looks like, just that Mama said he was handsome and sweet.”

 

“He was very kind, although a little serious. You haven’t met him?”

 

“No. My parents are handling everything.”

 

They both fall quiet. Zhenya was caught on the last helpful advice he had gotten from Alex after Yekaterina had died. _“You will move on, Zhenya. Think of the way you would have wanted her to move on if you had been the one to die.” Alex had been the only one to get him so plastered that night that the thoughts just spilled out of him. “I never even pictured myself dead, especially not her. Selfish as I am, I wouldn’t have wanted her to marry again. Just the thought of anyone else holding Katya, seeing her like I did? It drives me insane. “_ But Zhenya knew, deep inside, it was time to move on.

 

His parents were finding him a spouse and he had to be ready to be married by the end of the following year. If he was to do right by the person that his parents chose, he would learn to care for them, and at least in time, make them his spouse in every way. He just hoped he had the strength for it, because he really didn’t know where he was going to find it.

 

“Well, you can’t hide yourself away in your palace forever.”

 

Alex’s voice brought him out of his thought and he smiled to match his grin.

 

“Come out with me this weekend, just with a few of the old team. No pressure, just get out for a while.”

 

Zhenya knew Alex would only continue to pester him until he agreed, and with a lot of work still on his plate, he agreed and shooed him out of his office. He worked steadily for the rest of the afternoon, taking a break late in the day to check his email. Seeing the response from Sidney sitting in his inbox unread, he bulked up his courage and clicked open a new reply message. It was time to start moving on.

 

~~

 

Sidney looked up as his computer alerted him that he had a new email. Seeing the prince had replied, Sidney opened the email with nervousness bubbling up in his stomach. His return message was much the same as the last, gracious and cordial as the first. He had responded that Sid was more than welcome to ask anything he wished and hoped he would be open to receiving questions from him.

  
Sid had to sit for a moment and take it in. He really didn’t know for sure how things would turn out, but somehow he knew he would be marrying the prince.


	3. Chapter 3

Zhenya stood at his window and he gripped his gloves tightly in his fists. He had the window wide open, allowing the cool breeze to flow into the room. He willed himself to calm down. Breathing deeply, he tried to let the air refresh him, but it still felt like he was suffocating under the pressure.

 

It was his wedding day. Again.

 

Dressed to the nines in an elegant black tux, he looked taller than ever and very confident. Inside his emotions were roiling, making him sick. Had he really had breakfast with his grandparents this morning? Everything was taking on a dream like quality. He did not feel this way the last time he was here, facing down the alter. The prospect of marrying another, even though mentally he knew this was the right thing to do, emotionally he was still resentful that this day had come so quickly.

 

The last few months also were staring feel surreal. Correspondence had not streamed from him in the months following his first email to Sidney. Really, they had only emailed about once a month with messages filled only with facts, not feelings. He knew that Sidney was attempting to make him feel less pressured and allow him to dictate their relationship. And while he knew that it was wrong, he continued to guide them into a friendly, but very closed-off acquaintance.

 

Just from those few letters, though, he could tell that Sidney was a good man. He was intelligent and well written, but also compassionate and sweet. He was a caring individual, and he seemed to genuinely like Zhenya.

 

But he was not his wife and that was very obvious. His wife had been very shy and soft spoken. Sidney was confident in a way that made it seem like he was not fazed at all by all the attention he was garnishing from his engagement and now wedding the Crown Prince. Zhenya still felt his heart break inside every time he woke alone. Even keeping the wedding very private, the ceremony and reception here safely behind the palace walls,  it felt like the world was watching.

 

Zhenya tried to shake off his thoughts and mentally prepare himself for the day ahead. Sidney had been very demure and allowed what Zhenya and his parents requested for a wedding. Small, with a limited reception, they had wanted to keep just close family and friends as witnesses. The press had been all over themselves with theories and speculation, but Zhenya just did not have it in him to deal with the hoopla and circus that a large, ornate wedding would bring.

 

But the wedding was the easy part. Zhenya worried about after their nuptuals were said and done. Would Sidney understand that he would need some time? That he was still grieving and would not be ready for much more than they had already built? He could only hope, as there was not much that Zhenya could bring himself to give.

 

A moment of hot anger rose in him that he was being forced into this. That it was something he had to endure at all. His rising fury was cooled by his father’s knock at the door. He entered and walked over to Zhenya, gripping his shoulders and looking into his eyes.

 

“How are you?”

 

“Not good, but ready as I’ll ever be. “

 

The king's eyes were tender as they took in his son. “I’m so proud of you Zhenya. Your mother and I know that this is very difficult, but trust in you.”

 

Zhenya nodded, pushing his sorrow and anger behind a stoic face. He followed his father out to meet the person he would officially be spending the rest of his life with.

 

~~

 

Natalie and Taylor took in the spacious bedroom and sitting room and then looked at Sidney with eyebrows raised.

 

“Did you know it was...orange?”

 

“Not until I started moving things in earlier in the week. They said I could have it changed.”

 

“Will you? It’s...sort of awful.”

 

“I don’t know.” He sounded as uncertain as he felt.

 

Taylor looked at him in shock. “But you hate orange.”

 

“Yeah, I know, but if this was the princess’ favorite room, I think I might need to live with it for a while.”

 

Taylor choked down a smile and came and wrapped him in a hug. “He’s so lucky to be getting you, Sid.” Burying her head in his chest, he wrapped his arms tight around her back. “If he doesn’t figure that out, I might have to come back and beat it into him myself.”

 

Sid snorted and grinned down at her. “You might, too.”

 

Sidney’s mother came bustling in just then, smiling as she caught sight of her children. “Almost time! Are you ready?”

 

Sidney took a deep breath, stepping back from Taylor. He smoothed down his tux jacket, fingering the boutineer lightly.  “I think so. A little nervous, really. But I’m hoping that won’t last.” He grinned at them a little shakily. His mom reached up to cradle his face in her hands.

 

“I never put much thought into this moment, Sidney, but I am so proud of who you have become.” Sidney smiled at her, feeling overcome a little at the emotion of the changes that are coming.

 

~~

 

Zhenya watched his groom come into the ballroom flanked by his mother and father. He avoided Sidney's eyes, taking in the striking figure his husband to be. He certainly filled out his tux well. Now he was uncertain as to why he had waited to meet him before this moment, and he was starting to feel a little like a coward. While fit, Sidney certainly didn’t look as intimidating as he had made him out to be in his head.

 

Relaxing, Zhenya smiled at his parents as he awaited his spouse in front of the bishop.

 

Sidney, on the other hand, was anything but relieved. He knew that the prince was tall - very tall - but the man his parents handed him over to towered above him. Zhenya glanced down at him, his look serious. Taking in the prince this close, Sidney wondered how he could have ever thought that this man needed someone to take care of him. He looked as self-confident as any man could. He thought he might need a chair.

 

He was very grateful now that as part of the ceremony that they had to kneel facing the bishop. His mind was flying apart. Just the sight of that tall frame and handsome face had his face was heating right up.

 

“Marriage is not something to be taken lightly,” the bishop started and Sidney came back into the moment, his cheeks still stained with his blush. “Only by entering with a heart of commitment, reverently offering yourself one to another, can a foundation be built to withstand all of the storms that life might bring our way.”

 

Sidney focused on the word commitment and felt his thoughts calm and he recentered himself. He wasn’t all that strange, he wanted love and romance as much as anyone, but he knew as soon as he had made up his mind that marrying the prince was the right thing for him to do; he would be committed to this marriage. No matter how unconventional or strange it may seem, after getting to know the king and queen personally and seeing glimpses of the prince, he knew he could honor the crown and this family in this way. He honored himself by accepting that this marriage was something that he wanted. With that reminder to why he was here, Sid took a cleansing breath and listened carefully to the remaining exhortation from the bishop.

 

“Do you, Sidney Patrick Crosby, take Evgeni Vladimirovich Malkin to be your lawfully wedded husband? Will you respect him, care for him, and grow with him, through good times and hard times, as his friend, companion, and partner, giving the best that you can, to fulfill your lives together?”

 

“I do, “ he replied softly, yet firmly. He had not more doubt in this moment. He listened as Zhenya answered in his deep voice the same, with no hesitation to be heard.

 

“Prince Evgeni, you may now kiss your husband.”

 

Sidney felt the blush he had just suppressed rise up again at the bishop’s words. Meeting the prince’s eyes only briefly, Sidney braced himself for their first kiss.

 

Zhenya stiffly dipped his head, bending slightly at the waist to bestow a brief, chaste kiss to his lips, stepping back to gently turn to present Sidney by their joined hands at the bishop announced them husbands to all who had gathered.

 

~~

 

The reception was very intimate. The smaller ballroom had been made up to receive their guests with light foods and beverages, keeping the atmosphere low key and warm. For all that there were not many in attendance, Sidney had not been near his husband since they had adjourned from the formal ballroom.

 

Feeling the afternoon winding down, Sidney went in search of his husband. Seeing him with a rather boisterous young man, Sid drew close and gently touched Zhenya’s back to gain his attention.

 

The prince’s smile tightened as he turned, but he greeted Sidney warmly and introduced him to his good friend, Alex.

 

Sidney shook Alex’s hand and smiled a little shyly at his exuberant congratulations. Turning to bring Zhenya back into the conversation, he found him across the room with his parents. Trying to escape the conversation to catch up with his husband again, Sidney could only watch as Zhenya slipped out of the room, leaving Sid to finish with their guests.

 

Sidney smiled wanly as he said good-bye to his family and the Lemieuxs, finding himself left alone with the king and queen.  His smile turning a little more genuine, he bid his new in-laws good night and navigated the halls back to his rooms.

 

One thing Sidney knew, after seeing the sorrow reflected back to him in the prince’s eyes before he had hastily departed, the doubt of his need to be here, at Zhenya’s side, was gone. He was clearly certain that the prince needed great care and he would work hard to give that to him.

 

~~

 

Sidney did not sleep well. And although he had known his first night in the palace would be strange, he was relieved that he had not needed to work through any awkwardness with the prince the evening before. He had not seen or heard anything from Zhenya since their brief contact at the reception.

 

Loss of sleep or not, Sid still rose at his normal time and began his day. He quickly showered and dressed, trying to recall mentally the way to the kitchens from his rooms. He got turned around twice before he miraculously found the servants entrance to the kitchen and startled the cook into dropping a pile of clean linen to the floor.

 

“Sorry, sorry. Here let me help.” Hurrying over to help the young man pick up the now soiled napkins and table cloths.

 

“No, you are fine, your Highness.” He gently brushed Sidney aside and bundled everything to a side cabinet. “Now you must be down here for a reason, yes? Something to eat, perhaps?”

 

Sidney blushed and looked around the large spacious kitchen with a six person table off to the side. He stood there, a little bewildered, not exactly sure how to ask if he could cook himself something.

 

“Let me see, I think you are ready for breakfast, but you are trying to be healthy. Which is terrible, because I’m thinking you have a bit of a sweet tooth, no?”

 

Sidneys eyes widened in shock at he took in the chef’s huge grin and wagging eyebrows.

 

“Don’t worry, your highness, I have just the thing I think will work for you. Take a seat and leave the rest to me.”

 

Sidney took a seat at the table and watched with fascination as the cook began whipping up a batter of some sort and cutting up fruit. Remembering his manners, Sid asked curiously, “I don’t think I caught your name?”

 

“Oh, I beg your pardon, your highness. I am called Marc-Andre Fleury by the country register and everyone besides my wife and my mother calls me Flower.”

 

Feeling more relaxed with the easy manner that Flower spoke and moved, Sidney smiled. “Please, feel free to call me Sidney or Sid. It is strange enough to think of myself as any different, even if everything else has changed.”

 

“Fine, Sid, I will do so on one condition: tell me what you think of your breakfast? Let me know if I have hit the spot.”

 

With that he deposited a plate of crepes with seasonal fruit, egg whites scrambled, and a glass of milk and a mug of fragrant coffee. Sidney wasted no time in taking a bite to sample, glancing at Flower who was attempting to look busy wiping the counter tops and failing miserably, sneaking glances Sidney’s way to gauge his reaction.

 

Sidney took another bite, washing it down with a sip of his coffee. “This is great, Flower! How did you know?”

 

“It is a gift, my friend. One that only few are privileged to experience.”

 

Giggling at Flowers ridiculous display of a celebration, Sidney went back to finishing breakfast. It wasn’t so intimidating facing his new life if he could look forward to meeting people like Flower. Things were starting to feel a little more manageable.

 

~~

 

Sid wished he had the feeling of contentment from this morning back with him now. He had been greeted by Pascal, the house minister for the prince, and now himself, as he left the kitchens. He had met him with a smile and a manner that showed a man ready to serve and did it very well. “Good morning, Prince Sidney,” Pascal said, all business. “Is there anything I can get for you before we go over your schedule?”

 

“No, please, I’m fine. Lead the way.”

 

Sidney was led to a small corridor with doors lining both sides of the hall way. Pascal opened the second on the left. “This was set aside for your office, your Highness. The prince has an office a few doors down and there is a library and sitting room as well.”

 

Sid found himself nodding along as we walked around the room to the working side of the desk. Looking out the window and taking a deep breath, he turned to pull out the desk chair and settle in. “Well, let’s get started, I guess. “

 

Pascal chose a chair in front of the desk and  thumbed on his tablet. “Alright we want to start you off integrating some of the things you used to do with some of the new obligations as the Prince Consort. I want to reassure you, that this schedule is not law. Please tell me if something will not work or if you would like me to say no to something. I’m here to help you.”

 

Sidney smiled at him gratefully. “Thank you.”

 

Pascal smiled in return and flipped through his callender. “All of the members of the royal family have their schedule synched with mine and any changes made by me to your schedule will automatically update on yours. I specifically am in charge of your and the prince’s schedule and household. If you don’t have time to consult yours before making an appointment, simply let me know and I will look into it for you. My aim is to make this as seamless for you possible, so please ask me questions as you think of them.”

 

Sidney was very grateful that he had spoken at length with the queen one afternoon about his schedule and job expectations as the Prince Consort. He was glad that he wouldn’t be idle and focused his attention on Pascal, determined to do well.

 

“For today, you have the morning free of engagements until noon, when the king and queen are expecting you for lunch.”

 

Sidney nodded, looking forward to speaking with his new inlaws. He wondered if Zhenya would be joining them. Was he even at the palace? Sid hadn’t seen the prince since his abrupt exit during the reception yesterday. With their rooms being close, but arranged in a way to give privacy if desired, it would be very easy to miss each other. Sid still felt he should know if the prince was around, though. There was a door that connected their bedrooms, but Sid probably wouldn’t ever go near it unless his room was on fire.  

 

“Does that work for you, Prince Sidney?”

 

Sidney startled out of his thoughts, realizing that Pascal was waiting on his answer. He had to marvel for a moment at his life, though. He was a member of the royal family now, Prince Consort. It still felt like a fairy tale sometimes.

 

“Yes, that works for me. I’m not sure I know if I can find my way to their wing, though.”

 

“I can see you there, it’s no problem. Now then, we have some time set aside this afternoon for you to spend at the rehabilitation center. I understand that Mr. Lemieux will be helping you transition to a position of advisement and helping your replacement transition to your cases.”

 

Sidney followed along with Pascal as they finalized the last of his schedule for the week. He couldn’t help but notice that the prince was not mentioned, even as he was scheduled to meet with the council and a few members of parliament and state. The prince could be included in those meetings, but Sidney somehow had a feeling that he would not be in attendance. He didn’t feel it was his place to ask, so he saw Pascal out and turned to face his desk with the will to do his best and make the king and queen assured they had picked the right person to marry their son.

 

~~

 

Zhenya didn’t allow himself time to process the wedding. He wanted to get everything back to normal, back in control, as soon as possible.  He had decided to follow his arranged schedule and took up meetings that he really didn’t need to attend to pad his schedule. If he was busy he wouldn’t have to think about the fact that he was married again.

 

It would give him time to get used to the idea. Hopefully then he would feel more comfortable to allow Sidney to be a part of his life. He purposefully chose a few meetings that would take him away from the capital for days at a time, hoping to use the change of scenery as an avenue to reflect.

  
It wasn’t running away, he told himself as he prepared for his next meeting. He was just looking out for the needs of the people. They came first. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tune into my [Tumblr](http://theminiummark.tumblr.com/)  
> for updates or if you want to drop a prompt or ask a question!


	4. Chapter 4

Sid was busy in the next few days. He was transitioning out of his old position at the veteran’s rehabilitation center. Allowing someone else to take over his cases was more difficult than he was expecting. Even though he had interviewed and hired his replacement, he was finding it hard to let go. He had spent an emotional week saying goodbye to his patients and guiding them through the transition of a new counselor. He promised he would be back to encourage and visit, and offered his time as a friend if any of them wanted to talk.

 

In the months after the first meeting with the king and queen and learning the scope of what being prince consort entailed, he found it would not be feasible to continue as a counselor at the center. After speaking to Mario about his options, he would remain as a consultant, not on staff or payroll, but on a volunteer basis. Sidney would still be free to meet with his previous patients and be involved in their recovery as a supporter and advocate.

 

He knew he was going to be doing work just as useful as before, but change was still draining. Feeling lonely and sorry for himself wasn’t going to help him move on and be the best he could be, so he tried to let it shape who he was becoming. He wasn’t always successful.

 

Sidney was trying to bring himself up out of the melancholy he had found himself in after sending the last case file over to the center. A knock on the door of his office revealed the king poking his head around to smile at him.

 

“Good morning, Sidney!”

 

“Good morning.”

 

“Do you have a moment? I have something I wanted to run by you, and I had a few minutes to check in.”

 

“Yes, no problem. Please, sit.”

 

Taking a seat in one of the plush chairs that faced Sidney’s desk, Vladimir leaned forward with his hands clasped, forearms balanced on his knees.

 

“Have you heard of the Royal Child Care Center?”

 

“The child services facility here in the capital? I’m familiar with it, but I don’t think I have been able to visit, yet.”

 

“Good, well, I have an opportunity there for you. The Care Center has always had a representative from the royal family on the board of directors. My mother served there for many years before her health declined. For the last four years the position has been vacant, as we didn’t have anyone who could replace her. They contact my office every so often about becoming involved again in some way. We received another such request yesterday. I admit, I immediately thought of you.”

 

Sidney felt a little blindsided. He leaned back in his chair, and regarded the king closely.

 

“What exactly would be involved?”

 

“The directors meet and go over business at least every quarter or more often if needed. Beyond the meetings, there isn’t a lot that will be asked of you. If you would like to be more involved with them, they can accommodate your interests based on their needs.  I know you haven’t worked with children in this capacity, but I thought you might enjoy it.”

 

Sid was more than a little intrigued. “Could I possibly read the letter and any other updates you have?” He asked, tentatively, as the king looked expectant for his response.

 

“Absolutely! I will have my office send over this year’s correspondence with the center to you this afternoon.”

 

“All right, thank you.”

 

Vladimir stood and looked at Sidney intently.  

 

“Sidney? You don’t have to do this, if it is something that you don’t want to be involved in. While being involved in our country and community is a large part of our job as the ruling family, and one we take seriously, one of the perks is being able to do what we are passionate about. So if it is something you don’t want to do, or even want to table for now, let me know and we can put it aside.”

 

Sidney smiled at the king, feeling relieved that this wasn’t an expectation, but a privilege that he could take advantage of. He felt so new at this still. The reassurances from the king gave Sidney the freedom to make up his mind without the pressure of disappointing anyone.

 

“Thanks for that. I’ll keep it in mind. To be completely honest, I was looking for something that would help me feel more productive in my position.”

 

“Let me know if you have any questions.”

 

“Thanks, I will.”

 

WIth that, the king was out the door. Sidney had to sit still for a few minutes before it hit him all over again, He was the prince consort. Living in the palace. Talking to the king as though everything was normal. He shook himself out of those thoughts. Life wasn’t a fairy tale, even if it felt like it every now and then.

 

~~

 

Sidney was beginning to build a routine around his daily life in his new role. Every morning after a light workout and shower, he went down to the kitchen. There he felt like himself, not the prince consort, not Prince Evgeni’s husband, just Sidney. Not that anyone was disrespectful, but they didn’t treat him delicately. Flower was quickly becoming one of Sidney’s best friends, for all that he didn’t allow Sid to pour a bowl of cereal in the mornings.

 

Flower always had something delicious for him, though. He would sometimes talk about what was happening around the palace while Sidney ate, or he would be left alone to read the newspaper or a book in peace.

 

Then, like clockwork, Pascal would join Sid at the table and they would go over his schedule. This morning, Pascal was just settling in, and Sidney was smiling at Vero, Flower’s wife, as she took his dishes, when in walked Zhenya.

 

Sidney took a moment to just look at his husband. He had not seen him since his wedding day, and he hadn’t had much of a chance to look his fill on that day.

 

His dark head was bent over his phone and his eyebrows were drawn together into a frown. Speaking without looking up, he addressed Pascal, clearly having followed him into the kitchen.

 

“Duper, can you check something in my schedule? We need to move the meeting with the National Park’s committee to Thursday. When would be the best block of time to look at?” Finishing his thought, Zhenya looked up and blinked. He appeared shocked to find Sidney sitting with Pascal.

 

“Certainly, sir, you have the 2 to 4pm hours available. Would you like me to contact the members to schedule?

 

“Yes, thank you, Pascal,” he said, before turning to Sid with a smile. Sid found himself returning the smile automatically, hoping this was a chance for them to actually connect. “I’m sorry for interrupting, I get caught up in so many things, I often forget I’m not the only one who takes up Pascal’s time. I don’t believe we have met, though, so I hope the staff have been helpful.”

 

Sidney’s smile froze on his face as he took in a sharp breath, feeling his face heating up. Looking down, completely at a loss for words, he had no other inkling on how to react. The prince hadn’t remembered him, his own husband? The rest of the kitchen had frozen around them, staring between the two.

 

“It seems by everyone’s reaction that I have already met our guest and have somehow forgotten?” Sid saw Zhenya’s jaw clench as he forced out the words from behind his clenched teeth.

 

Sidney looked up, trying to overcome his mortification that his own husband didn’t recognize him and tried to help ease the situation. “I’m Sidney, your husband?” Sidney honestly tried to keep the waver out of his voice, but couldn’t quite manage.

 

The prince’s face shut down, eyes becoming hooded. “My apologies.” Snapping his gaze to the house minister, he continued, “Pascal, please let me know if the rescheduling doesn’t work. ” He turned and strode out of the kitchen without another word, leaving Sidney and the staff frozen.

 

Sidney tried to recover, willing down his embarrassed blush and bringing forth a self-depreciating smile. “I guess I didn’t leave much of a lasting impression on our wedding day.”

 

“Oh, Your Highness, that - that can’t be true.”

 

Turning, Sid saw Carol Lynne join her husband as they both looked at him with concern. “He did seem very happy to see you, even if he didn’t really remember…” She trailed off, words hanging in the air. Hearing them aloud made the whole situation feel worse.

 

Sidney sighed and looked down at his hands, clenched in his lap. “I can’t imagine how hard this all is for him. It’s not as if he wanted to marry me.” He looked up at them, smiling again. “It just seems like I have a bit more work to do to get to know him.” Focusing on Pascal, he said, “Do you need to go over anything else?”

 

Pascal shook his head and gently said, “Remember, if you need anything at all, please let one of us know? We know this isn’t exactly easy for you either.”

 

Sidney’s smile turned more genuine as he thanked them all, but quickly made his escape. He was very glad that he had a full day today and could put this whole morning behind him.

 

~~

 

As he left, the staff finally unfroze and gathered around the table.

 

“Duper, that wasn’t right. What kind of husband doesn’t recognize his own spouse?” Flower spoke up in outrage. “He isn’t the only one in this marriage. We need to help him remember that it takes two to make a relationship work, even if it is a business relationship. There will be talk if the prince continues like this.”

 

Pascal nodded along, a mischievous glint appearing in his eye. “Well, I think we can help remind him.” Looking around at the staff, he rubbed his hands together gleefully. “Who wants to help make sure that the prince never forgets his spouse again?”

 

~~

 

Zhenya left the kitchen, ashamed. He had just made a fool of himself in front of not only his staff, but his husband as well.

 

He knew that avoiding his marriage might cause some problems, but he didn’t expect such an oversight to come from him. He could only wonder what Sidney might think of him now.

 

As he went about his day, his thoughts kept straying to his husband. Zhenya had been able to avoid thinking about Sidney almost completely these last few days, but that had definitely been a mistake. Heading back to the palace from a late morning meeting, he was still contemplating how he was going to handle the encounter he had with Sidney that morning.

 

Paul, Zhenya’s driver, was poised to make a left turn, leaned over to speak with James, Zhenya’s bodyguard, when something caught his eye out the front window.

 

“Paul?”

 

“Yes, sir?”

 

“Is that Kris?”

 

“I believe it is, sir.”

 

“What is he doing?”

 

Paul glanced at the prince in the rearview mirror. “He is Prince Sidney’s protective detail, sir.”

 

Zhenya looked along the street until he saw Sidney, clad in nondescript workout clothing. He was bouncing on his toes, waiting for the light to change. As he watched, Sidney began his run again with the light change, Kris following along at a respectful distance.

 

Going through his schedule on his phone, he realized that he did not have anything booked, and as he looked through Sidney’s schedule, he realized he didn’t know that he was doing so much, and how much of it was without him.

 

Zhenya sighed at the realization that he had been putting off getting to know his husband and neglecting his duty. If Sidney had been just another employee of the crown, Zhenya would have been more accommodating and available than he had been to his own husband. He hunted Pascal down as soon as they arrived back at the palace. Ignoring the amused look on his house minister’s face, he corralled them into the salon just off the door to his wing.

 

“Pascal, I have some questions for you.”

 

Pascal’s eyebrow raised skeptically. “Yes? And what sort of questions would cause you to way-lay my person upon your arrival that could not be asked over the phone?” Folding his arms, he looked at Zhenya with long-suffering patience.

 

Zhenya huffed, blushing as he realized how frantic his actions had been since this morning. Sitting down on the edge of a table, he leaned back, crossing his legs at this ankles and returning Pascal’s long-suffering look.

 

“Just humor me. Does Sidney always take breakfast in the kitchen?”

 

Pascal seemed surprised at the question, but quickly schooled his features to professionalism, his joking countenance gone.

 

“Yes. He seems very comfortable there with the staff.”

 

“And lunch; dinner?”

 

“When he is here, he eats in the dining room or with your parents.”

 

Now it was Zhenya’s turn to be surprised. Sidney ate with his parents? He didn’t even eat with his parents. Digesting that fact, he asked the next question to pop into his head.

 

“Is he here tonight?”

 

Taping through his tablet, Pascal confirmed, “No, sir. He’s been invited to a dinner at one of the council member’s home. I believe it was a small gathering of the eastern province members.”

 

“I was invited as well, wasn’t I?”

 

“Yes, but you had a prior engagement with Councilman Talbot you could not decline.”

 

Zhenya was torn. On one hand he was relieved that he had a very good excuse not to see his husband, but on the other he felt disappointed that he was missing an opportunity to make up the time he had thrown away to get to know Sidney. He knew he needed to make a change and begin to get to know Sidney as his husband and as a person, but he was left floundering. How would he even begin a conversation? How did one talk to someone who was their spouse, yet nearly a stranger?

 

“Is there anything more I can help with, sir?”

 

“Just this, Pascal. Could you have Kris or Sidney’s driver call as soon as they leave the dinner? If I’m still with Max, call James.”

 

“Certainly. I’ll have it handled.”

 

Zhenya nodded distractedly as he stood and strode out of the salon, his long legs carrying him automatically to his office. Missing the self-satisfied look on Pascal’s face as he was leaving, he closed the door softly behind him.

 

Moving around the room to his desk to begin the paperwork that had been almost completely moved from his mind, he spotted a new edition to his desk.

 

There, in a nice gold and black frame was a photograph of Sidney. It must have been taken on their wedding day, as he was dressed finely. The shot had been taken at the perfect moment, catching Sidney unguarded as he spoke with who appeared to be his sister. He had just turned away from her and the camera had caught him at just the moment he looked into the lense.

 

It was stunning, his brown eyes alight with warmth, his body accented by the finely cut tuxedo.

 

There certainly would be no way that Zhenya would forget what his husband looked like now.

 

~~

 

Sidney was exhausted. It was about eleven that evening when he was able to leave the diner party, although, he hadn’t eaten much of what was offered; he had hardly had the time in between questions.

 

All in all, his first engagement on his own seemed to have gone well. No one had been offended by anything he had said or done, and they all genuinely seemed to enjoy his company and asked for his opinions.

 

In a daze, he followed Patric, his driver, out to the waiting car and slid gratefully on to the seat.  Resting his head back, he watched at the lights slowly passing by as they made their way back to the palace.

 

“Sir?”

 

He jerked out of his daze at the soft question form Kris. “Is there anything you needed before heading back?”

 

He had caught on to the little promptings that the staff had taken to ask him. He noticed they seemed innocuous, but they helped him feel in control. Pushing past his exhaustion for the moment, he felt his stomach growl in hunger.

 

“Can we stop somewhere for food? I don’t want to wake anyone at home, but I’m starving.”

 

Seeing the grin that passed between his driver and bodyguard, Sidney waited out their amusement.

 

“Can we stop somewhere for fast food? Is that something I can do now?”

 

He could feel their amusement grow. Kris turned to him, a chuckle clearly heard in his words as he said, “Yes, sir, we can stop anywhere you would like. I take it you have a craving for something?”

 

Sidney just shook his head. “Honestly, anything quick and close by would be fine. I am just really hungry.”

 

With soft laughter filling the front of the car, Patric changed course to the nearest fast food establishment. Sidney felt himself relaxing, the promise of food and the warmth of laughter helping ease the last of the stress away.

 

~~

 

Zhenya felt a little silly as he stood in the chilly evening air waiting for his husband to arrive home, but he didn’t want to miss the chance to see his spouse again before the day was out. He knew he needed to make a change, and the best way he knew how was to actually do something. So, here he was.

 

As the car drew in close, he waved Kris off as he stepped up to open the door and help Sidney out of the vehicle.

 

Sidney hadn’t even noticed him and startled back as Zhenya loomed over him, reaching out his hand to draw him out. Sid was so tired, he didn’t even register that it was his husband helping him, until he was out of the car and vertical, Zhenya’s arm encircling his waist to keep him steady.

 

“Oh, um - hi, hello -” Sidney cut himself off with a blush dusting his cheeks, leaving Zhenya to chase the redness with his eyes, watching with fascination as it deepened with their prolonged contact and close proximity.

 

“Hello,” Zhenya said back with a soft smile. It was very hard to find anything to dislike about the man he was holding in his arms. “Did you have a good evening?”

 

Zhenya gestured to the door and allowed Sidney to lead him into the palace. He caught Sidney giving him glances out of the corner of his eye, but kept his attention to the hallway leading to their quarters.

 

“Yes, thank you. Most of the couples there were from the province I was raised, so it was nice to speak about places and people we may all know.”

 

Zhenya directed them to a sitting room close to their personal rooms and led them to a sofa. Sidney looked at him searchingly for a moment, before asking, “And you? DId you have a pleasant evening?”

 

“Yes,” said Zhenya, glad that he didn’t have to think of the next thing to say. “I had been invited as well, but I had a prior engagement I couldn’t miss. Thank you for attending for both of us.”

 

He studied his husband, suddenly thinking back to this afternoon and his husband out jogging.

 

“The streets are very busy in the capital,” he said, surprising himself.  “Are you careful when you’re out?”

 

He could tell that Sidney was surprised as well by the question, but he nodded. “Yes, I try to keep to quiet streets, especially when I run. I try to be as careful as I can.”

 

Zhenya nodded, still feeling a little anxious. He barely knew Sidney, but he knew that having him hurt in some way was not acceptable to him.

 

“I could always keep to the grounds or drive to another area,” Sidney offered, as if he could read Zhenya’s thoughts across his face. “If you would rather me do so, it shouldn’t be a problem.”

 

Zhenya stared at Sidney. He had offered to change up his routine, simply on his request? “You would do that? Why?”

 

“If it bothers you, I will. I can ask Kris or Pascal for better places if the grounds aren’t appropriate.”

 

Zhenya frowned at him. That seemed very accommodating, almost rehearsed. He found himself becoming distrustful of Sidney, thinking that he was simply saying things that he wanted to hear. He tried to push the thought away, but he was finding it difficult to do so.

 

“No, please don’t change anything. I don’t think that is necessary. Just keep being careful.”

 

Sidney seemed confused, more of his emotions showing on his face as he drooped from weariness.

 

“I’d best let you go; you seem tired,” said Zhenya, a little tersely, angry that he had let the conversation take the turn it did and had him doubting his husband. “Is there anything else you needed?”

 

“No, thank you. I’ll say my goodnight.”

 

Remembering his manners, Zhenya stood to escort Sidney to the door. He didn’t linger, moving to his own rooms for the night. He found his anger at the entire situation still simmering below the surface of his control. He knew that he needed to work this out if he was to accept Sidney into his life. For now, he was just grateful they had managed a conversation at all.

 

He did not sleep well that night.

 

~~

 

Sidney found himself bewildered as he readied for bed. His encounter with the prince was at the front of his mind and he turned it over and over looking for what went wrong. His exhaustion wasn’t helping either, and he hoped sleeping on it would help him make sense of things.

 

Zhenya had surprised him so much by meeting him at the his return and acting so concerned about his exercise habits. What he had meant to accomplish, Sid had no idea, but somewhere the conversation had taken a wrong turn and left him floundering. He felt even more confused about their relationship than ever. He had no idea where he stood with his husband, or even if he ever would.

 

That idea was so depressing and pessimistic, Sid tried to put it out of his head. He wasn’t going to quit on the prince, but it was out of his hands now. Sidney had done what he could and would continue to be as accommodating as possible, but he needed Zhenya to meet him halfway.

 

Had he known that it would be another month and half before he would be in actual company with Zhenya again, he would have tried a little harder to end their conversation on a better note.  

  
They found themselves at opposite schedules, but for the most part, the world outside the palace thought all was well. The staff and their families, however, knew differently. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the wonderful [Hazel_3017](http://archiveofourown.org/users/hazel_3017/)  
> for the help on this chapter!
> 
> As always, you are more than welcome to join me on [Tumblr](http://theminiummark.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	5. Chapter 5

Sidney had a meeting rescheduled and found the next two days free for the first time since he had moved to the palace. Checking in with Pascal and dropping a note to the queen, he called his sister to see if she would be up for company for a few days. After hearing her enthusiastic consent, he quickly made arrangements with Kris and started packing.

 

He packed an overnight bag and gathered his tablet and cell phone. Checking around the room for the book he had been reading, he huffed at himself, realizing he must have left it in the library the night before.

 

Hurrying down the hall, he slipped into the library to find his book not on the side table where he left it, but on the window sill next to a deep, leather chair. Picking it up, the book mark he had been using flittered to the floor. After swiping it from its resting place, he thumbed through the pages to find where he had left off and replaced the bookmark. Along the way, he found pages that had been dog-eared. Grumbling at such a misuse of a book, he smoothed the pages out and closed the book in satisfaction.

 

As he was headed back to his rooms to finish packing, he turned a corner and ran right into the king.

 

Vladimir steadied them both by clasping Sidney’s upper arms, keeping them both on their feet.

 

“Sidney! You alright? What has you in such a rush?” he asked with a smile, letting Sid step back a step and straighten his shirt.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I am just headed out to see my sister. Didn’t mean to run you over!”

 

“It’s quite alright. Have a safe trip and say hello to your sister for me.”

 

Sidney smiled at the king and waved as he continued back down the corridor.

 

~~

 

Zhenya was just looking for the book he had been reading when his father popped into his sitting room. Zhenya had been trying to take a few minutes to himself after a morning full of meetings throughout the capital. Not that he didn’t love his father, but he was feeling a little bit hounded.

 

“Zhenya! So glad I caught you. Do you have a few minutes for me?”

 

Zhenya nodded and and sat down in his favorite leather armchair and motioned for this father to take the one across from him. He gave his father his attention. After a few minutes of pleasantries and palace gossip, Zhenya derailed the conversation.

 

“You are not here just to talk to me about what your cook made for you and Mama last week,” he said impatiently. “Whatever it is, just tell me.”

 

His father sighed and turned his now serious gaze on him. “How is Sidney?”

 

“He’s fine,” Zhenya said quietly, not sure where his father was going with this.

 

“Do you know this personally or from Pascal?”

 

Zhenya looked at his father silently for a long few moments before answering.

 

“I am aware of him. He seems content and settling into his role and schedule.”

 

“Any chance you two are expecting?”

 

Zhenya blanched. He stared at his father...he couldn’t possibly think...No, his father was joking.

 

“I don’t think that is a joke, Papa.”

 

“No, I suppose not, but Zhenya, how long are you going to wait to get to know him?”

 

“It’s only been a month and half!”

 

“And a month can turn into six months into a year,” he fixed Zhenya with a knowing look. “You knew that it would be difficult, you shared that sentiment to your mother and I, but have you tried at all?”

 

This was the very last thing he wanted to discuss, with his father or anyone. Growing furious with his father and at the situation at hand, he was very grateful when his phone alerted to remind him of his next appointment. Zhenya would much rather talk about the interdepartmental affairs of the agriculture administration than discuss the state of his marriage. Bitterness over the fact that the woman he loved was taken from him and now he had to create a marriage with someone he did not know pooled deep within him, growing into a cold, hard anger, waiting to lash out.

 

~~

 

Sidney was feeling refreshed from his visit with Taylor. She always had a way of lightening him up and helping him get out of his head a little bit. “Keeping your head from getting too big,” is what she called it.

 

He had returned to the palace with a little bounce to his step and a ready smile. He stepped back into the flow of his responsibilities around the palace and capital.

 

Sidney had been getting closer with Zhenya’s family, too. He had dinner with Zhenya’s extended family shortly after they had been married, and this afternoon he had a wonderful lunch with Zhenya’s paternal grandparents. He was slowly getting to know Zhenya from the people closest to him. It wasn’t what he wanted, but he would take what he could get.

 

After having lunch with Zhenya’s grandparents, his grandfather asked Sidney to drop off a file that had been passed on to him from the king to Zhenya. Sid had no idea where his husband might be at that moment, thought the safest place to leave the file was Zhenya’s office. He had never been in the office before and planned on being in and out quickly. He was stalled a little bit by the elegance of the room and the way that the prince had arranged everything. Everything was decorated with heavy dark wood and leather that made Sidney feel a little bit insignificant.

 

He had just set the file on the desk when his husband’s cross voice came from behind him.

 

“What are you doing in here?”

 

Sidney startled around, feeling guilty for no reason. He watched as Zhenya strode into the room, his face stormy with disapproval. Thoughts scattering, Sid began to move toward the door.

 

“I’m sorry,” said Sid softly, bumping into the doorway before turning and escaping into the hallway. He knew that he hadn’t reacted well, but he was so shocked to be confronted with the prince’s displeasure that he felt flustered.

 

Before he could make up his mind on what to do next, the office door opened and the prince stalked out towards him.

 

“You could have just told me about the file,” Zhenya started in on Sid, his voice and movements agitated. “I just had an email from Grandfather letting me know you would be dropping it by.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Sidney began again, but without letting him continue, Zhenya talked over him, anger making his voice loud and harsh.

 

“Are you always such a pushover, willing to let anyone step all over you?”

 

Sidney blinked, shocked that his apology could even bring out this type of response.

 

“No - “

 

“You could have fooled me,” the prince muttered as he glared at Sid before turning away to stalk down the corridor.

 

Sid, at a loss of what had just happened, tried to move quickly out of the prince’s way and leaned against the wall. Working hard to not overreact, Sid was shaking a little in the face of Zhenya’s anger. He wasn’t sure if he was shaking from nerves at feeling the prince’s reaction, or from anger at himself because he had allowed himself to be brushed aside. He didn’t know this man. He only knew what Zhenya had allowed Sid to see, and he had no idea what Zhenya would do next. He suddenly did not feel very safe with the prince.

 

Sid watched the prince pull out his cell phone as both of their devices alerted them to a text message. Zhenya stopped to read the message, then look over his shoulder at Sid.

 

“Pascal wants to meet us in the receiving room to go over a change that will affect our schedules,” Zhenya grumbled out the words and turned with to continue down the hall without waiting on Sidney’s response. Sidney, not knowing what else to do, followed along in his long-legged wake.

 

~~

 

“Thank you for coming so quickly,” said Pascal as soon as they arrived, looking down at the tablet in his hands. “Let’s see...Thursday evening, next week - Your Highness, are you all right?”

 

Zhenya turned to look where Pascal was looking and Sidney brought his eyes up to meet Pascal.

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“You’re certain?” He asked as Sidney looked to the floor again, a blush taking over his pale countenance. He nodded, dropping his eyes back to the floor.

 

Zhenya, on the other hand, was now taking in the countenance of his spouse for the first time that day. Sidney was pale and his eyes were pinched around the corners. He didn’t see Sidney’s eyes again while their schedule was still being discussed. His hands were shoved deep in his pockets and he was hunched in on himself.

 

He had done this, had made Sidney deeply uncomfortable to be in the same space as him. Realizing his mistake, Zhenya knew he had to make this right. He was determined to do so the moment they were finished, but Pascal had a few items he needed to clarify with him. By the time he was finished, Sidney had slipped away. Zhenya went first to his office, then to Sidney’s room to speak with him, but was informed by Carol-Lynn that Sidney had remembered an appointment and had left in a hurry.

 

Zhenya tried to find time to catch his husband and apologize in the next few days, with his own appointments needing his full attention he was kept very busy. When he was able to find time, Pascal informed him that Sidney had been called out of town for a meeting with a delegation in the north province and would not be returning before until just before his birthday and the Prince’s Banquet. Zhenya focused on using these few days to think of ways to apologize to his husband for his behavior.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick update because of a short chapter. The next chapter should be posted on August 19th, barring any unforeseen events in real life. 
> 
> I love to interact with fellow fandom people and I can be found lurking around my [Tumblr](http://theminiummark.tumblr.com/)  
> quite often. Feel free to stop by!


	6. Chapter 6

Zhenya was feeling a little harried.  He had not seen his husband since he had arrived at the annual Crown Banquet. Since he was fortuitous to have been born within a few days of the historic event, they have simply combined the two for the last 26 years. Now, as he moved around the room to greet his mother, all anyone was talking about was his new spouse and how well they complimented each other. As of yet, he still had not laid eyes on his husband. He stopped by the staircase to sweep his gaze over the gathered guests, he felt oddly disappointed to not even catch a glimpse of Sidney.

 

"Happy Birthday, Zhenya." His mother appeared at his elbow, slipping her hand in the crook of his arm.

 

Smiling down at her, he bent to bestow a kiss on her cheek. "Thank you, Mama, " he said. "Have you seen Sidney?"

 

"Your father volunteered to attend to Sidney tonight. You didn't hear it from me, but he was readily looking forward to spending time with him." She smirked up at him, smug. "They discovered their mutual love of hockey."

 

Zhenya’s smile turned into a grin, bringing out a full boyish countenance that hadn’t been seen on his face for quite some time. “Ah yes, hockey. Papa’s other love.”

 

His mother pinched him in the soft part of his under arm. “You have no room to talk, “ she said indelicately, before giving him a once over. “You look very nice tonight, Zhenya. Has Sidney seen you in this tux?”

 

“As a matter of fact, no; nor have I seen him at all today.”

 

The look his mother gave him was shrewd. “Oh, there is Seryozha. I’ve been looking all over for him. You better find that husband of yours and apologize. Save a dance for me.” With one last stern look in his direction, she moved off to speak with Sergei.

 

Zhenya was relieved when he was cornered by his cousins at that moment, or he may have spent the next several minutes trying and failing to casually find his husband. He listened and smiled in all of the right places while his attention was completely taken by the shifting groups of elegantly dressed people taking up the largest ballroom at the palace. His cousins were just moving on when he spotted him.

 

Sidney was standing with a group of some of Zhenya’s friends, now councilmen, in a perfectly fitted black tux. One of the men said something to Sid, playfully nudging him. Sidney looked wry and a little smug as he said something back, causing the whole group to laugh. Zhenya clenched his jaw, jealous when he had no cause; he had hardly given Sidney a chance to be that comfortable with him, and then had so readily put him in an inferior place that Zhenya knew his path would be hard won.

 

He had just started his way across the room to meet up with his husband when he was waylaid by Sidney’s parents. He tried to keep his discouragement from his face as he greeted his in-laws.

 

“Prince Evgeni! Happy Birthday! We are glad we have the chance to see you,” said Troy as he enthusiastically shook Zhenya’s hand. “We saw you so briefly at the wedding and Sidney only shares what he can, of course, so we wanted to make sure we got to know you ourselves.”

 

“I’m glad you could join us,” said Zhenya, curious at what Sidney could have shared with his parents. “But please, call me Zhenya.”

 

“You can call us by our first names as well, Zhenya,” said Trina, gently, placing her hand on his arm for a moment. “We also wanted to extend our invitation to you. Please call us or visit anytime. We want to get to know the man our son has married. Not to mention, you can ask us anything about Sid, to help you know him better, too.”

 

Zhenya looked down at her hand on her arm, a little overcome by the trust that they are giving him with their son. He felt completely unworthy of it, the last time he spoke with Sidney first in his mind.

 

“We plan to have you and Sid home for dinner sometime soon, but you are welcome anytime,” Troy continued.

 

“Thank you very much for the invitation. I’ll make sure to stop and check in with Sidney for the best time to visit.”

 

Zhenya was about to continue their small talk when he spotted Sidney again. Casting about for a good distraction so as to not run out on his in-laws, he spotted his cousin and his wife. He caught his eye and gestured them over to introduce Sidney’s parents.

 

He listened with half an ear as they discussed Sidney and how they met as Zhenya continued to follow Sidney with his eyes. He was not going to let him out of his sight until he had a chance to talk with him and apologize.

 

Finally sensing a good time to excuse himself, he slipped away to catch up with his husband. He might have made it, too, but another group got his attention first. He stopped and watched him. They were a group of generals and Sidney seemed very comfortable with all of them, listening attentively.

 

At that moment, he looked up and locked eyes on Zhenya. He watched as Sidney tensed at his scrutiny and blushed as he looked back to the man speaking. Just as Zhenya was working his courage up to go an interrupt, the orchestra sounded for dinner and his father appeared at Sidney’s side. Discouraged, he turned to find his mother and join their guests for dinner.

 

~~

 

Sidney was nervous. He hoped he didn’t do anything to embarrass himself. It was his first official outing as prince consort and his husband’s birthday celebration. And if his husband didn’t stop looking at him, he may not be responsible for his actions. After their last encounter, Sidney felt unsure of every move he made. He couldn’t help but tense up when he caught Zhenya’s gaze. The humiliation of how he had handled himself in front of the prince was a bruise in his memory, that ached when he revisited it.

 

The king interrupted Zhenya’s line of sight, helping Sid relax a little.

 

“You are doing fine, Sidney. You can relax and enjoy yourself.”

 

Sidney let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He nodded and smiled up at the king.

 

“I wanted to thank you for thinking of my parents and asking if they could come. I wasn't quite sure how to ask.”

 

The king looked taken aback by his thanks, but he recovered with a smile just a little sheepish.

 

“You’ll have to forgive me, Sidney. You fit in so well here and though you have been with us for a short time, you already feel like you have been here for years,” Vladimir said with a shrug. “You make if very easy to forget that you are still new at this. Your parents are always welcome, no matter the occasion. This is your home, too, so please invite them to visit whenever. If you run into any trouble, let me know at once.”

 

Sidney’s smile turned brighter, full of affection for his father-in-law. He was very blessed that he was so understanding with his shortcomings. He just hoped that he would continue to make them proud.

 

~~

 

Sidney was dancing with Ksenia Gonchar when his husband finally cornered him. There was nowhere to go without seeming rude, so he simply accepted Zhenya’s hand as he cut in. Ksenia curtsied and wished away to join her husband, a huge smile on her face. And before Sid could really process it, he was dancing with his husband.

 

Sid couldn’t bring himself to look Zhenya in the eye and stared steadfastly instead at his bow tie.

 

“You are avoiding me on my birthday?” Zhenya’s voice was teasing and rumbled pleasantly between them. It gave Sidney the confidence to meet his eyes.

 

“It’s not your birthday yet,” he returned, trying to keep the conversation light. His blush outdid him, his thoughts turning back to the last time they were in each other’s company. He felt the embarrassment rise up in him again and he dropped his eyes from Zhenya’s. “I just didn’t want to make anything awkward or ruin your party, so I thought it would be best to leave you be.”

 

“You would not have ruined anything. In fact, I am the one who should be worried about that. I know I have already done much to ruin our relationship so far. For that, you have my apology.”

 

That brought Sidney’s eyes right back to his husband’s. Zhenya gazed back at him with sincerity and trepidation. Their dance had slowed as they talked, the prince guiding them in smooth motions, not really keeping with the tempo any longer.

 

“I know I have a long way to make up for how my actions and words have affected you and the beginning of our lives together, but I am going to try to make it right. You should not be ashamed. You are very welcome here with us, with me.”

 

“I suppose I could try to do better as well,” Sid said, softly, still looking at Zhenya’s face. His eyebrows were pinched and his face was drawn with seriousness.

 

“You don’t have any need to do more than you already have. The fault lies with me. I have been avoiding our relationship, even though it was my own decision to move forward and marry again. My only hope is that you will forgive me and allow me to try again to be your husband.”

 

“Of course you are forgiven,” he said with assurance and no hesitation. There never was any doubt that Sid would not give him another chance. The life that they were creating together would never go anywhere if they didn’t forgive each other. He was sure there would be more times that forgiveness would need to be given. But Zhenya’s apology still left things open ended. As much as he valued Zhenya’s words, his actions would prove if his forgiveness was given in foolishness or not.

 

~~

 

Zhenya finished the dance and caught the eye of the minister of finance. He hated leaving Sidney now that he had finally apologized and gotten the chance to share a good moment. He still felt that there was something unsettled between them, but he didn’t know what he could do to change it at the moment. Unfortunately, his job as the prince didn’t ever end and he had hoped to speak with the minister about some of the reforms that he would be proposing soon.

 

Choosing to move on as if Sidney’s forgiveness was exactly what he needed, he bowed to Sidney and said, “Thank you for the dance. And thank you for listening to my apology and to be willing to give your forgiveness.”

 

Sidney was blushing again. Zhenya was beginning to find it delightful. Sidney bowed as well, not saying anything, taking his cues from him.

 

“I have to leave you for a moment to speak with someone. Save me the last dance?” He bent down to say the last part in Sidney’s ear, his breath disturbing the hair curling about the shell of his  ear, just starting to stain pink.

 

“Of course.”

 

Zhenya found it harder than he thought it would to turn away and leave Sidney alone on the dance floor.

 

~~

 

Zhenya caught up with Sidney as the event was drawing to a close. “May I walk with you back to our rooms?”

 

Sidney was taken aback but pleased none the less. “I’d like that.”

 

They walked side by side, not speaking, but the silence was not strained. A little uncomfortable, as they weren’t completely at ease with each other yet, but it helped them wind down from the evening’s festivities.

 

Sidney suddenly remembered that he had a birthday present for Zhenya, but did not know when it would be a good time to gift it to his husband. “I have a gift for you,” he said softly. “Would you like to stop by my rooms to get it, or would there be a better time?

 

Sidney saw his steps falter for a second as he turned to stare at him. “You have a gift for me?” he said, his voice clearly revealing his shock. “Why?”

 

Sidney found this a bit obvious but tried to keep the teasing from his voice. “It is your birthday. That is something that spouses do for one another on their birthday,” he said a little sarcastically.

 

Zhenya shook his head and kept glancing at Sidney as they walked, stopping before the doorway leading to their wing of the palace. “I mean to say, why would you think of me so fondly, when I have treated you so callously?” He said, sounding so lost as he looked down at Sid.

 

Sidney gave Zhenya all of his attention and looked into his eyes, smiling a little at his genuine confusion. “You are my husband and at the end of the day, I do want to be your friend.”

 

Zhenya smiled back at him, lighting up his features. Sidney was now finding himself a little nervous, hoping that what he chose for his husband was appropriate. He really had no idea what to get a man you barely knew and yet were married to.

 

Zhenya lead him through the doors as they had been standing there stalled long enough. Sidney prompted Zhenya again, “Would you like your gift now?”

 

Zhenya’s smile blossomed into a full boyish grin. “The present is always the best time for presents.”

 

Sidney had to restrain from rolling his eyes. Apparently his husband was not above using puns. He waved him to the sitting room nearest their personal rooms and shooed him to a chair, saying, “Go sit. I’ll be right back.”

 

He quickly turned, hoping the nerves he was feeling weren’t that noticeable. He rushed into his rooms and grabbed the neatly wrapped box from his closet. Sidney was more nervous about this gift than he was at any time tonight. With Zhenya’s apology earlier that evening, it was important to Sid that Zhenya like his gift. Sidney wanted them to get closer, and the only way to do that was to be vulnerable. It was time to try and get closer to his husband.

 

Sidney walked back out to his husband and hesitated in the doorway. He had hidden the gift behind his back and was filled with trepidation. He hoped he had not overstepped with this gift. What if Zhenya hated it? As he stood there waffling between running back into his closet and moving toward his husband, Zhenya made the choice from him.

 

He stood from his chair and walked slowly, but deliberately to him. His face was still lit up by his grin, but it had faded with Sidney’s hesitance. Wanting to lighten the atmosphere again, Sid brought the gift around and shoved it in Zhenya’s direction.

 

Zhenya took it gently from Sid’s hands. Still standing there, he began to carefully take the wrapping off. Sidney took the time to study his face up close, taking in the little twitches his mouth makes as he struggled with not ripping the paper, carefully lifting each flap to reveal wooden box that held the gift.

 

Finally, the paper was gone and Zhenya was tugging the lid of the box free. Inside was a shaving kit that Sid had agonized over. He chose the shaving cream by scent and texture and made sure that every piece of the kit reflected what reminded him of Zhenya. The straight razor’s handle was a dark, polished mahogany. The brush had a matching finish with a brushed ring of steel holding the bristles in a perfect array. The steel was engraved with Zhenya’s name and birthdate.  

 

Taking a chance, he glanced up at his husband through his eyelashes, hoping for a good reception of his gift.

 

Zhenya’s eyes caught his, his expression absolutely serious. “This is beautiful, Sidney,” he breathed out between them, almost reverent. “It is a perfect gift. Thank you.”

 

Zhenya lifted his hand to settle at the base of his neck and squeezed just a little. Sidney ducked his head, his face flaming as he gave a shy smile to Zhenya. “I’m glad you like it,” Sidney said with relief. “You are a little hard to shop for.”

 

Zhenya gave him a smile back, but not as carefree as before. “Someday, maybe not as difficult,” he said. “Thank you, Sidney.”

 

They didn’t linger long, the room growing a little tense and awkward. Sidney said goodnight quickly and headed off to bed. He slept well that night, happy his gift had been well received and that they were beginning to make steps toward a relationship, even if they had a long way to go.

 

~~

 

Zhenya did not sleep well. He spent most of the night pondering his new husband. After being confronted with Sidney’s generosity, he knew he had much to make up for his treatment of Sidney from most recently, but also how he handled their relationship from the beginning.

 

He planned to set his thoughts into action immediately the next morning. After firming his mind toward a solid goal, he was able to fall asleep in the early hours, just as the sky was beginning to lighten.

 

Zhenya woke a few hours feeling invigorated with his new purpose. He quickly showered and dressed casually, as he didn’t want to make Sidney feel any more uncomfortable than he already was. He walked over to the doors adjoining their rooms and straightened his shirt and smoothed down his hair. Clearing this throat, he knocked.

 

He waited somewhat impatiently for Sidney to come to the door, trying not to let himself fidget, to appear calm and collected.

 

No answer. He knocked again, a little louder.

 

He leaned in close to the door to listen and hear if Sidney was making any sound in the rooms beyond. He checked the clock, and it wasn’t too early he would be still asleep, nor was it too late that he would be gone from his rooms for the day.

 

While he was still contemplating his next move, face still almost pressed to the wood, the door opened abruptly. He pulled back eyes wide and took in the appearance of his husband. Sidney’s hair was disheveled and wet. It appeared he had just finished from his shower, down to the fluffy blue bathrobe wrapped snug about his body. Zhenya grinned at him and watched with delight at the blush taking over Sidney’s face.

 

“Good morning, Sidney,” Zhenya said cheerfully. “I wondered if you had a few minutes this morning so we could talk.”

 

Sidney stared at him. He blinked at Zhenya for a few minutes before he could see the pieces click together in Sidney's mind.  

 

“Um, yes, okay. Come in, “ Sidney stuttered out, holding the door open for Zhenya as he motioned him through. “I’ll just...get dressed quickly and meet you in my sitting room. Please go have a seat?”

 

Zhenya watched with growing amusement as Sidney scurried into his closet, just off his bathroom. Doing as Sidney had bidden, he walked into the sitting room that was off of Sidney’s bedroom. He sat on the plush, fabric-covered loveseat, hoping Sidney would join him there and they could gain some closeness for the conversation he was hoping to have.

 

He took the time while he was waiting to take in Sidney’s rooms, noting with interest and some consternation, that there were not many changes made. There was not much to show Sidney’s personal touch, just a few pictures of his family, some books, and a soft looking throw stood out as different. And the rooms still had an overbearing orange palate from when his grandfather had used the rooms, several decades before.

 

Katya had never moved into these rooms but had shared his suite with him. They had put off renovating the rooms, hoping for a baby before they made any changes. But that was before the accident and Katya was taken from them all too soon.

 

Zhenya was pulled from his increasingly maudlin thoughts at the appearance of his fully dressed husband. Zhenya had yet to see Sidney looking anything but handsome, and dressed in a soft looking dark gray, v-neck t-shirt with dark jeans, he looked comfortable. The lack of personal touches around his rooms, the pinched look around his eyes, and his hands pushed into his pockets gave proof to Sidney’s nervousness. Patting the seat next to him, he smiled at Sidney, hoping to keep him at ease.

 

“I won’t keep apologizing, Sidney,” he began as Sidney settled himself on the loveseat next to him. “But I feel that there are still some things that we need to talk through if we are going to be able to move forward.”

 

Sidney gave him his full attention. Zhenya looked right back into his eyes, keeping his tone soft, yet firm, he plowed ahead.

 

“I made you uncomfortable in my presence, didn’t I?” Zhenya asked, taking in Sidney’s reactions, hoping to learn more of who Sidney was and find his way to make this right.

 

Sidney nodded, losing his relaxed posture. He seemed reluctant to answer, but Zhenya needed to know. He needed to know what he could do to reverse it so that they could continue to strengthen their marriage. He had already done so much damage, and as of yet, he wasn’t sure how much was fixable.

 

“Can you tell me why, exactly?” Zhenya asked. He tried to keep ahold of Sidney’s eyes with his own, but Sidney quickly averted them with his question and fiddled with his watch.

 

“It’s embarrassing now, but for a few minutes, I wasn’t sure what you would do. I thought you might want to hurt me.”

 

He said this, tensed again as if waiting for a strike. It was all Zhenya could do not to react. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been so taken aback. He forced himself to nod and keep a calm appearance, but inside he was screaming.

 

He had been ignoring his parents and his conscience, which had been telling him to fulfill his duty and get to know his husband. He had thought Sidney had duped his parents, that he was just putting on an act, but he really was just trying to be helpful and a good partner for the prince.

 

“Were you going to hurt me?” Sidney asked in a small voice.

 

“No! No, Sidney,” Zhenya said, finding it hard to keep the emotion from his voice. Sidney still looked braced for a blow, and his heart ached that he had caused this in his husband.

 

Sidney shrugged. “I told myself I was being ridiculous. I was more upset with myself for reacting in fear, than I was with you.”

 

Zhenya stared at him. He was realizing for the first time the position that Sidney was in. He left his home, his job, a life he was familiar with, to come and marry a stranger who had complete control over him. Zhenya doesn’t think he could have made the same commitment if he had been in Sidney’s place.

 

“Thank you for telling me, Sidney. I am glad you could tell me. I have been mad at the situation and with my father for interfering when I felt he shouldn’t. I should not have let my anger control me the way that it did, and I know you don’t know me very well. I hope I can regain your trust and see that I mean how sorry I am that I put you in that position.”

 

Sidney brought his eyes up to search Zhenya’s face. Whatever he found there must have reassured him because he smiled a small, private smile.

 

“Thank you, Evgeni.”

 

Now Zhenya was was taken aback again. Although Sidney had pronounced his name perfectly, he found that he hated hearing it from Sidney’s lips. But at this point, he didn’t know if it would hinder or aid in helping them relax if he asked Sidney to call him Zhenya.

 

Zhenya could see Sidney start to relax and was on the verge of asking how his trip went when he was thwarted by Pascal leaning around the door jam.

 

“I’m sorry to interrupt, sir, but you have call from the minister of finance, and he said he did not want to wait.” He did appear very apologetic to barge in, so Zhenya held in his sigh.

 

“Thank you, Duper. I’ll take it in my office in a few minutes.” Zhenya said, feeling resigned. He was on the verge of having a meaningful conversation, and it felt that he was being blocked now that he was starting to try.

  
He said a heartfelt goodbye to Sidney and left to take his call. By the time he was finished, Sidney had left. He didn’t see Sidney again the rest of the day, their schedules were still too mismatched, but thoughts of him stayed with Zhenya. He found himself thinking often of Sidney where once he had only been thinking of Katya. Zhenya was starting to feel positive about his marriage for the first time since he had said his vows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The newest update is here, and a whole day early! Look for the next update on August 29. 
> 
> Thanks for all your feedback and support! You are all wonderful.


	7. Chapter 7

With the apology from his husband, Sidney started to feel comfortable at the palace for the first time. It was feeling like home. He no longer felt like a guest, and with his routine firmly established, he felt himself relaxing and allowing a little bit more of his personality to shine through. The staff had never really seen this side of Sidney. The man who liked to eat candy and who loved to sing to himself, he was now out in full force. He was kind in an unassuming way. He took time to talk with the staff member’s kids or listen to the maids concerns over cleaning products.  

 

After being shown such kindness from the newest royal, the staff was quick to make Sidney a part of their lives and Sidney was quickly starting to feel like he belonged there. Even though it still just felt like a job, it was one that he was definitely enjoying.

 

One such morning, a few days after Zhenya’s birthday, Sidney was was in the kitchen helping Lola, Pascal and Carole-Lyne’s youngest daughter, stay busy as her mother was finishing up with a staff meeting.

 

“What are you going to draw next?” Sidney asked the little girl as she was carefully choosing her next crayon color.

 

“You,” said Lola, glancing up at Sidney, head tilted to one side, her adorable pigtails emphasizing her critical gaze. “You are a princess and all princesses are pretty. I’ve never drawn a princess before, so hold still.”

 

Sidney did his best to look serious as the little girl turned back to her drawing pad, looking up now and then to purse her lips and stroke her chin, before bending back to scribble some more.

 

It seems that Sidney was not the only one to hear Lola’s complimentary remark, as the queen stood in the doorway, her hand covering her mouth, trying to hold in her mirth. It was impossible, though, as Sidney could see her eyes sparkling at him from across the kitchen.

 

“Lola,” the queen began after she had controlled herself. “Your mother sent me to get you. She said she is waiting just down the hall and you need go meet her there.”

 

The little girl sighed with obvious reluctance. But without protest, she gathered up her crayons and coloring book, but not before carefully taking the picture she had made of Sid out of the book and handing it to him. He took it carefully, holding it like the treasure it was.

 

“Thank you, Lola,” he said very seriously. “I will take very good care of this.”

 

Lola smiled shyly up at him. “Can we play again soon?”

 

Sidney smiled down at her. “Soon, I promise.”

 

Sidney walked the little girl to the door of the kitchen and watched her scamper down the hall to her mother.

 

Sid turned back to the queen, realizing that she had stayed in the kitchen and stood watching him. He smiled at her, receiving one in return. “You had great timing,” he told her as he moved back to the table, pulling out a chair for his mother-in-law before taking his own. He gestured to the carafe of coffee on the table before him as he picked up his neglected mug. “Would you like some coffee?”

 

“No, thank you, Sidney,” she said, folding her hands on the table before her. “I actually came to find you.”

 

Sidney smiled at her again and set his mug down. “What can I help you with?”

 

“I wanted to check in with you. Zhenya confessed to us about how he treated you while you were away and how he planned to apologize when he saw you again.”

 

“Oh,” Sidney said uncomfortably. He was still so embarrassed about the whole situation. He knew that the Prince would not hurt him and had seemed so shocked when he had mentioned it. “I didn’t handle that very well.”

 

“Sidney, you misunderstand. The king and I both know that Zhenya was in the wrong and we are proud that he apologized. But at the same time, we realized that you didn’t know that and I wanted to check to make sure that you are alright.”

 

Sidney’s gaze went back to his coffee cup. “I haven’t talked with anyone about what happened, not even my family. I don’t want anyone to think badly of Evgeni. I know he was upset, but I just let it happen. Honestly, I am more upset with myself and how I handled the situation.”

 

The queen reached over and covered one of Sidney’s hands with her own, drawing his eyes back to hers.

 

“You are still speaking as though you did the wrong thing, Sidney, and you didn’t. We are very happy that you allowed Zhenya to apologize and that you have forgiven him. He knows he was wrong, but that doesn’t mean that you mean less in this situation. You are just as important.”

 

For the first time since that horrible afternoon, a part of Sidney that had felt so smothered was lifted. He had been so wrapped up in his own world of hurt and anxiety of doing the right thing, he missed the point of his apology. He turned his hand over to squeeze the queen’s hand. “I thought you might be sorry you chose me to marry Evgeni.”

 

The queen shut her eyes, looking resigned. “Nothing is further from the truth, Sidney.” She tightened her fingers as she met his eyes again. “If we could do it all over again, we would still choose you.”

 

Sidney felt like a weight had been lifted from his chest and for the first time in months he could breathe again. He had felt completely out of his depth, so concerned that he would make a mistake and disappoint the king and queen - or worse, be useless to the prince - Sidney knew that time of uncertainty was over.

 

He knew that the prince may never love him. He may never have an intimate relationship or children with him, but he could be himself and that was worth all of the hardships he had endured to get here.

 

He looked at the queen with shining eyes, hoping she could see the sincerity on his face. “Thank you,“ he said heartfelt. “Thank you for caring for me.”

 

The queen reached out then and drew him into hug that shocked him with its ferocity. “Thank you, Sidney, for being such a wonderful son-in-law.”

 

He smiled and hugged her back, his heart feeling the lightest it had since he had met her.

 

~~

 

Sidney was visiting the Children’s Care Center. It was his first visit he was able to make in person after accepting the position as a representative of the royal court. And to put it lightly, he was not happy with what he had seen so far. As one of the members of the board, he was allowed to question and inspect to his heart’s desire. What he has found was making him uncomfortable.

 

“We are so happy to have you, Prince Sidney,” the director, Mrs. Howe, said. “Will you be joining us for lunch?”

 

“I’m not able to today, I’m sorry,” said Sidney, calmly, his mind racing over all that he had observed that morning. “Thank you for the invitation, though. I will be sure to stop by for lunch sometime soon.”

 

The director had taken great care to point out all of the ways that the center was saving money, but Sidney could not find any evidence in their financial statements that would lead to such drastic cutbacks. It was obvious that they did not have many funds available and were trying to make what they did have go a long way.

 

What Sidney noted were the areas these cutbacks were happening. Areas that could not afford any tightening of the belts: the kitchens and the educational opportunities. He had spent breakfast with the five and six year olds. Sidney was disgusted with what he had seen and eaten. These children and the staff had definitely been neglected since the royal family had ceased to be involved. The children were despondent, withdrawn, and antagonistic. In a place meant to care for the countries children until they could find a better place with a family of their own or school, the basics for creating a thriving child were all missing.

 

He was not a person that made hurried judgements, willing to engage his optimistic side and give others the benefit of the doubt, but after speaking with children of multiple ages, as well as the staff, Sidney made a mental note to visit again during another mealtime to confirm his doubts.

 

~~

 

“Where is Sidney?” the prince asked Pascal. It had become his new routine since the Prince’s Banquet a few days ago. Sidney was in constant demand, and unless he was with the prince, Sidney was away from the palace.

 

Zhenya was kicking himself. He had packed his schedule when he had first married Sidney and now he constantly found himself moving in the opposite direction from his husband. While that was originally what he had wanted (and still felt that it was the easier option, sometimes) he now had a plan to get to know Sidney, and so far he had made it very difficult on himself. The damage had been done, at least for the time being.

 

Other than Sunday mornings and some evenings, Zhenya would never know where his husband was if not for Pascal. He had made it known to the house minister that he wanted to have his schedule rearranged to work in time where he could be with Sidney, in any capacity. He was making a genuine effort to get to know his husband.

 

His primary source of information was the staff. He was constantly asking after Sidney. Asking Kris if he was safe and not being reckless. Making sure that Flower knew it was alright to let Sidney request things if he had a craving. In the process, he was finding out that Sidney was one popular young man, and not just amongst the palace staff, but also around the capital.

 

“Let me ask again,” Zhenya said. “Is there any place that I might catch up with Sidney today?” He watched at Pascal impatiently as he brought up Sidney’s schedule on his tablet.

 

“He is at the Children’s Care Center this morning, but at noon he is scheduled for the opening of the new veteran’s athletic center that has been named for Mr. Lemieux. He wa asked to speak at the luncheon they are having in honor of the occasion.”

 

Zhenya was intrigued. He had never heard Sidney speak before and he was eager to see how Sidney would do. Thinking over his schedule, he should be able to be present to see Sidney in action and lend his support.

 

“I have a few things to file with the treasury this morning, but I’ll head there soon after.” He told Pascal, who was waiting for direction.

 

“Very good. Will you be able to make the luncheon, sir?”

 

“I should.”

 

“I’ll call ahead and thet them know you will be joining them,” said Pascal as he made a note in the schedule.

 

Zhenya was suddenly taken by a thought and it escaped through his mouth before he could control it, “does he ever ask about me or where I am?”

 

Pascal shook his head, looking at Zhenya quite shrewdly for a member of the royal court. “If I may be so bold, sir, I think he would say that it’s none of his business.”

 

Zhenya nodded, becoming introspective. He knew that they both came from vastly different roles and walks of life and would view things very differently. Things he took for granted or did without thinking would seem like overstepping or rude to Sidney. It was just one more way he found himself a failure since Sidney had entered his life.

 

He looked up when he heard Pascal take a breath to speak, but then visibly stopped himself. Seeing his hesitation, Zhenya motioned for Pascal to speak.

 

“I’m not sure you will welcome this advice, sir, but if I may,” said Pascal, pausing again as he searched Zhenya’s face. “I think in time, Sidney will change, but you may not wish for that change, so it may be of little comfort to you.”

 

Zhenya stared at Pascal. More than just a servant, Pascal had known him for years. “You’re right. In recent past I have not given anyone, including Sidney, a reason to believe that I wanted anything more from my marriage except for the name. But I have a responsibility. Sidney’s parents and family are trusting me to care for him, believing he would be happy and do well here. I have failed in living up to that responsibility. I want him to want to be here, even if we never have a traditional romantic marriage.”

 

Pascal smiled back at his prince, nodding along with his words. Zhenya felt encouraged. He was doing the right thing. The future was still uncertain, as Zhenya was still not sure if he could get close with Sidney, but he wasn’t going to give up until he had tried everything he could to succeed.

 

~~

 

What was quickly becoming a ritual, Sidney was in the bathroom trying to get in the right mindset to make his speech. He had just finished straightening his jacket before walking through the door to meet up with Kris, when he caught sight of broad shoulders and trim waist topping long legs that could only belong to his husband. He froze, watching Zhenya look around the room, taking in the state of the art facility and the bright open and airy meeting room where the luncheon was being held.

 

He didn’t know what happened to him when his husband was near, but he was the furthest thing from himself. He was just in so much awe of the man, still a little start-struck. He had been nothing but a gentleman since his apology, but Sidney still felt awkward and shy with him.

 

Feeling overwhelmed with nerves, he almost turned and ran back to the bathroom.  He kept walking, looking around the room, taking in all of the guests. He told himself to calm down as he looked for his assigned seat. Just as he discovered it, in the midst of taking a deep breath to soothe the butterflies dancing in his stomach, when a deep voice spoke from behind him.

 

“Sidney.”

 

“Oh, Evgeni!” he exclaimed, startled as he spun around to face his husband. “I didn’t see you there.” He looked up into his husband’s face and saw him smile. Feeling a miffed that Zhenya could find this funny, Sid found himself becoming grumpy towards him.

 

“I didn’t realize you were planning on attending this event,” he said, his voice on the cool side.

 

“It was a bit last minute, or I would have told you of my plans.”

 

Looking unconsciously regal, Sidney nodded and turned back to make his way to his seat, unconcerned if he was followed or not. Zhenya stayed right with him, matching his longer legs to his steps. He didn’t speak to Zhenya again as the walked, but he did smile at a few people the passed.

 

“This is quite an honor, “ Zhenya suddenly spoke up. “I didn’t realize you had experience in speaking in public.”

 

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d would think that you were insulting my ability to do my job.” Sidney looked up at his husband through his lashes. He still felt a bit grumpy towards his husband, he didn’t let on that he was actually joking. It felt good to see Zhenya visibly loose that easy confidence as he tried to process his words. Zhenya seemed to recover well though, following up with a question Sid wasn’t expecting.

 

“I’m sorry, Sidney,” he said, almost a little shy. “I didn’t mean to imply that you were incapable.”

 

Sidney didn’t have an answer, but he felt guilt fill him, like a dull pain in his chest, at the hesitance he heard in Zhenya’s voice. He was grateful when they found their seats and most of the table was already occupied by Zhenya’s paternal grandparents and a few members of the Veteran’s Council. He pushed all thoughts of his husband aside and quietly took in the conversation around him. He put himself back into the right mindset to give his speech and recentered himself. He had time to worry about Zhenya later.

 

~~

 

Zhenya found himself alone at the table, as Sidney was called away to meet with the organizers of the luncheon. He doubted he would see him again until after he had given his speech.

 

He was mulling over their conversation, ignoring the other guests at the table, trying to find out where he had gone amiss. It was obvious that Sidney was upset with him, but he honestly had no idea where he had taken a wrong turn. He was shocked out of his thoughts when his grandmother rested her hand on his forearm.

 

“Sidney is so shy around you, Zhenya.”

 

He glanced up at into her eyes. “You don’t find him shy with you?”

 

“Not in the least. He was at first, but that was understandable. He was still trying to find his feet. Now, he is quite enjoyable,” she smiled at him, obviously fond of Sidney. “He visits at least once a week and has called with questions or just to say hi.”

 

Zhenya was silently amazed. He knew he had a long way to go, but not until that moment did he realize how much ground he needed to make up. He was beginning to feel a little discouraged by the lack of progress he was making. He had done them both such a disservice by distancing himself so much from Sidney. It seemed he was missing out, at the very least, at a friendship that was a blessing to everyone who connected with Sidney.

 

He was just starting to firm up his resolve to become even more involved with his husband, when Sidney took the stage to give the welcoming address.

 

Sidney looked poised and calm. He had clear eyes as he looked out over the audience. His voice was strong and sure as he began.

 

“I’d like to thank you all for being here today and I’d like to thank the Veteran’s Council for asking me to speak on their behalf and welcome you all to this wonderful facility.

 

We are gathering here today to honor and show gratitude to those who have served this great country. The members of our National Armed Forces have given much in their line of duty. Some have paid the ultimate price for the security and freedoms we enjoy.

 

Today we have an opportunity to pay homage to those who are still with us, and I am proud to be able to give back to you in some way.”

 

Zhenya was mesmerized. Sidney spoke with such passion, his whole being lighting up at the words flowed smoothly from his mouth. He captured his audience, his eyes moving from person to person, as if he was speaking directly to them. And when his eyes captured Zhenya’s, he was like a man electrified. He had never seen Sidney like this. He was magnificent.

 

“After moving on from serving their country with honourable discharge, these valued men and women now face a new kind of war. A war with themselves and with peace that has been hard won. They are representatives of not only our country and way of life, but also what it truly means to be a citizen.

 

There are not many professions that leave such indelible marks on a person, than serving in the military. Which is why it is so appropriate that our response to such sacrifice be met and delivered with care. It is our responsibility to provide and care for these men and women the way they have provided and cared for us.

 

I am proud to welcome all of you here to this new state of the art facility that will be available to all eligible active and retired military personnel. It is a place of camaraderie, inclusion, and hope. There are departments housed here to help with rehabilitation, health, and counselling. As a member of the royal family, I am personally hopeful that you find this a safe and restful haven from whatever war you are facing.”

 

Zhenya watched as Sidney gave his closing remarks and smiled at the applause. Zhenya was one of the most exuberant by far. If he didn’t think that it would take away from the weight of Sidney’s words, he would have stood and given the loudest ovation of appreciation he could. Sidney was fantastic.

 

As he made his way from the podium back to his seat at Zhenya’s side, he stopped at shook people’s hands and listened intently to each person who spoke. Zhenya was impressed all over again with his parent’s choice. They had chosen a great man to stand by Zhenya. He was a perfect compliment to him as a prince, and he represented the royal family with pride.

 

Zhenya couldn’t help compare this Sidney with the man that he had been beginning to get to know. Sidney was almost...closed off around him. He suspected that Sidney thought he had rules and regulations for everything, and in a desperate attempt to do the right thing, he was nervous and overly polite in his presence. The fact that he had made Sidney feel unsafe in his own home was not far from his memory either. Zhenya was determined to make every moment they had together a good one to help Sidney feel comfortable and unafraid that any repercussions would come from him. He had to let Sidney know the real him, the Zhenya who was just a man, looking for the same companionship that Sidney was.

 

Sidney settled in his seat beside him, drawing him from his thoughts. After the rest of the table complimented Sidney on his speech, Zhenya leaned over and covered Sidney’s hand with his own. Tilting his head to speak so only Sidney could hear, he said softly, “You were amazing.”

 

Watching his husband blush up close and personal was almost as fantastic as watching him speak. He smiled down at Sidney as his eyes rose to catch his.

 

“Thanks,” Sidney’s response was a little breathless, but he returned Zhenya’s smile. He didn’t move his hand from Zhenya’s until their food arrived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI everyone! Sorry for the lateness of the post. Thank you for everyone who has commented, left kudos, and subscribed to this story. You are all amazing!
> 
> I am hoping to have the next update up by September 12th. If you are in the mood to chat or talk about these wonderful hockey boys, feel free to stop by my [Tumblr](http://theminiummark.tumblr.com/)  
> and say hello.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay!! This chapter was edited quickly, so please let me know of anything I missed.

Sidney was running late for his own birthday. His mother and Nathalie Lemieux had gotten together to plan a little party at the Lemieux home with his family and a few friends. He had a meeting that had run over, and now he was rushing out the door of his rooms, stopping to shove on his shoes. He was so caught up in making sure that he didn’t fall over in his hurry, that he missed his husband’s entrance.

 

As he straightened to pat down his pockets to check that he had his phone and wallet, he startled when he noticed he was the attention of Zhenya’s gaze.

 

“You seem in a rush. You have plans for the evening?”

 

Trying to seem unruffled, Sidney smiled at Zhenya. “Yes, sorry,” he said, trying to keep his voice even. “And I’m running a little bit late. I’ll see you later?”

 

Sidney walked quickly to the door to take him out to Kris and his driver, but was stopped by a hand at his elbow. Turning to look up at Zhenya, he smiled again at Zhenya’s curious look.

 

“Do you want some company?”

 

Sidney shook his head. He wasn’t ready to spend time with Zhenya and with his family. It was a little petty, but he wanted to feel...normal for a night. And the way he felt when his husband was around was anything but normal. “Thanks for offering, but it’s just a little get together with my family. You probably would be bored.”

 

He glanced back up to Zhenya’s face, just in time to see a look of disappointment come across his face. Zhenya covered it well, dipping down to peck a quick kiss to Sidney’s temple and squeeze his arm in affection.

 

“Well, have a good time,” he bid with a polite smile, before turning and making his way to his suite. Sidney had frozen with that kiss and just watched the broad back of his husband walk away. The click of the door closing had him coming back to life, jolting him back to hurrying through the halls, his mind still on his husband.

 

~~

 

“How is Zhenya?”

 

Sidney turned with a smile on his face to look at his mother. “He is doing well, Mom. Busy, you know. He has this big piece of legislation he is working on that I don’t know much about, but it has kept him occupied.”

 

She looked dubious at his words.

 

“Too busy to attend his husband’s birthday party?”

 

Sidney looked guiltily down at the glass of wine in his hands. He didn’t want his mother to think badly of Zhenya, because the fact of the matter was: Sidney had not invited Zhenya.

 

“Mom, it’s not like that. I neglected to tell Evgeni about the party, and he would have been too busy to come, anyways.”

 

“You didn’t tell him because he was busy, or you didn’t ask him if he wanted to come to your twenty-fifth birthday party?”

 

“I didn’t ask him anything,” he admitted, looking back up at his mother, who was regarding him with her hands on her hips now.

 

“Can you tell me what is going on?” She asked him kindly, countenance open and inviting Sidney to confide in her, just like he had when he was young.

 

Sidney sighed and turned to the window, staring out into the night. “I went into this marriage thinking that the Prince needed me.”

 

He closed his eyes, thinking back to the past weeks he has spent at the palace. “It’s obvious now that he doesn’t really need me. It was just a silly fantasy.”

 

His mother came in close and gently cupped his arm to turn him around to face her. “Why do you think that? What has he done?”

 

Sidney reached out and took her hands in his, rubbing his thumb gently over her knuckles. “It’s more that he has made it obvious that he doesn’t really want me around him,” he said softly, his bewilderment and hurt coming out in his voice, even as he tried to remain stoic. “Really, I just try to stay out of the way and let him come to me if that is what he wants.”

 

“Oh, Sidney,” Trina whispered, looking heartbroken. “Do you think things will change? Do you think he has room to love you?”

 

Sidney pursed his lips in thought. “I think he is trying to do better,” he started, trying to be pragmatic about it and take a step back and look at his relationship with the prince objectively. “He has been spending more time with me, but I don’t know if it is an honest attempt to get to know me as his spouse. It hasn’t been that long, so I am just trying to be patient and let Evgeni set the tone.”

 

“Do you have any regrets?”

 

“No,” said Sidney, gravely. He didn’t want his mother to think that he was doubting his decision when he wasn’t. “I can’t see myself leaving, not when I feel needed by the country and the rest of the family, even if the reason for the marriage in the beginning was to help the prince. I love being needed. And if all the prince wants is a friendship, then I will try to accommodate that.”

 

His mother smiled at him, even if her eyes seemed a little sad. “I’m glad we talked. I really only want you to be happy. This wasn’t exactly what I had thought of a future for you. You know you can talk to me, right? I’m still your mother.”

 

Sidney smiled back, nodding as he bent to kiss her cheek and let her hands drop as the turned to join the rest of the party.

 

The conversation didn’t leave Sid. He thought thoroughly on the drive back to the palace about regrets, and resolved in himself to do what he could to be better for himself and for Zhenya. He did have one regret, and that was not asking Zhenya to join him in celebrating his birthday. He needed to find him tomorrow and apologize.

 

~~

 

The next morning found Sidney alone at the breakfast table. Zhenya had taken to having breakfast with Sidney in the kitchens, but today he was absent. Sidney missed his husband and the feeling took him by surprise. He had not realized he valued the time they had together, that it had become part of his routine. Now, looking at the empty chair that Zhenya normally occupied, he couldn’t stop the guilt for side-stepping him the previous evening from filling his mind again.

 

He hoped that he had a chance soon to see his husband and apologize.

 

Just then, the swinging doors to the kitchen opened and Pascal walked briskly into the kitchen.

 

“Good morning, Prince Sidney,” he said with a smile. “Are you ready to go over your schedule for the day?”

 

Sidney smiled and gestured to an open chair at the table. “Please, Pascal. What do you have for me today?”

 

“First off, I wanted to go over the changes that Prince Evgeni made to your schedule - “

 

“What do you mean he changed my schedule?” Sidney interrupted softly, smile gone as he stared at Pascal. “Why would he do that? Did he ask to see me?”

 

Pascal shifted in his chair a bit as he fiddled with his stylus, tapping away at the screen of his tablet. “He didn’t give his reasons, but he asked me to cancel some of your appointments.”

 

Sidney looked hard at Pascal, searching for answers that he realized only the prince could give him.

 

“Where is Evgeni?” Sidney asked with as much calm as he could muster.

 

“He was in his office earlier, but he may not -” The scraping of Sidney’s chair on the tile floor cut him off as Sidney stood.

 

“Thank you, Pascal.” Sidney had already moved through the doors as he stopped to give his thanks, trying to convey to Pascal that while he was angry, it was not with him.

 

The guilt that Sidney had been feeling just moments before had burned away in the force of his irritation with his husband. He stalked the halls to his husband’s office, ready to give Zhenya his opinion of his overbearing actions.

 

~~

 

Zhenya was focused on the complex infrastructure proposal arranged in loose piles on his desk. He heard a soft knock at the door, but thinking it was one of the staff members, he ignored it while he finished jotting notes of clarification next one particularly confusing paragraph.

 

“Evgeni, I would like a word, please.”

 

The sound of his husband’s voice startled him enough as his head jerked up, but the anger he could hear underlining his words compounded his surprise. He took in Sidney’s closed off posture and clenched jaw, and he wondered at what could make his husband as angry as he is now.

 

Zhenya willed his surprise away as he stood and walked around the desk. “Please, Sidney, come in. If I can be of any help, I would be glad to lend whatever aid I can.”

 

He reached out to touch Sidney’s back and guide him to a few chairs in the corner of his office, but Sidney shied away, folding his arms across his chest and he stayed standing, turning to face Zhenya squarely.

 

“You cancelled my appointments,” Sidney wasted no time in explaining his upset, and Zhenya was taken aback.

 

“Yes, I did,” said Zhenya, speaking slowly to try an get a grasp on the situation. “I thought that you may be too busy, as you looked a little tired, so I - “

 

“Too busy!” Sidney burst out, his anger and frustration full on his face. “You barely even around to realize I exist, and now you say I’m too busy.” His hands had come down to his sides and his fists clenched in his fury.

 

Zhenya looked on with growing surprise, completely at a loss for words. Sidney gave him no time to recover.

 

“I know that I am your consort, but you don’t own me!” Sidney met Zhenya’s eyes with his own furious ones. “At twenty-five I am more than capable of managing my schedule, and I know - “

 

“Wait, wait,” Zhenya broke in, grasping at anything to bring the conversation under control. “You are twenty-five? I thought you were twenty-four?”

 

“I had a birthday, they are not reserved for royalty,” Sidney snarked back. “And don’t distract me. I am more than capable of taking care of myself, Evgeni; you had no right to change my schedule.”

 

Sidney stood there tense and the atmosphere soured with his silence.

 

“Sidney, as you husband, I have every right to do so,” Zhenya began quietly, after taking some time to allow Sidney to calm down and to gather his thoughts. “I am sorry, however, that I did not speak to you about my worries or before making any changes. You are capable of taking care of yourself, but I was only trying to help when I saw a need. I’m sorry.”

 

He watched the fight go completely out of Sidney with his words. His shoulders lost their tension and slumped, and he stood subdued before Zhenya. Gone was the fiery fury that had bolstered Sidney before.

 

“I’m sorry,” Sidney said softly. “You’re right, I’m sorry for overreacting.”

 

Sidney was at the door, before Zhenya recovered and called his name. He stopped, but didn’t turn back. Zhenya came to him, curving one hand around his neck as he moved around to see Sidney’s face. Sidney didn’t raise his eyes, but Zhenya could read the upset with every line of his body.

 

“Oh, Sid,” Zhenya said and without thinking, he engulfed Sidney in his arms. “I’m sorry.”

 

“I just want to understand you, but I don’t know what to do.”

 

Sidney tipped his head back to look Zhenya in the eye. He was glad to see no tears, but it was obvious still that Sidney was bewildered. Zhenya stepped back to give them some space, but he kept his hand grounding Sidney with a loose grasp of his neck. He didn’t have the words to explain himself clearly right now, but he knew he needed to make Sidney feel better.

 

“Please tell Duper it was my mistake,” he said to Sidney with as much gentleness as he could muster to give. “Schedule whatever you think is best.”

 

Sidney nodded, stepping back and breaking Zhenya’s hold on him.

 

Zhenya studied him for a minute, before asking to ease his heart, “Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah, I’m sorry again, Evgeni.”

 

“Me too. Just forget it ever happened, alright?”

 

“I’ll see you later.”

 

Taking the hint, Zhenya stepped aside to let Sidney pass into the corridor. “All right, Sidney. See you later.”

 

Zhenya watched his husband walk away, his heart heavy. It seemed that he would make some progress before screwing it all up again. Zhenya returned to his desk and he stared down at the paperwork before him, his eyes unfocused as he was busy thinking about his husband.

 

Taking out his phone, he tapped out a quick text message to Alex. Catching his quick reply, Zhenya left the office in its current state and left the palace quickly. He needed someone to talk to, someone outside of all this, to help him know how to care for his husband.

 

~~

 

“I feel like I am always screwing up. I feel like I am finally learning about how to take care of Sidney, and I turn around and make him upset! Or I make him feel unworthy!”

 

Zhenya was pacing around Alex’s living room he he spoke, tugging his hair out into tufts in his agitation. Alex was leaned back in his chair, and he followed Zhenya with his eyes, his mouth twitching in his amusement that with a glare from Zhenya was not well hidden.

 

“I have been married before! You would think that I would know how to be married!”

 

“It’s not the same situation, Zhenya. You can’t expect it to be,” said Alex. “You are essentially working backward.”

 

Zhenya stopped and looked at Alex, before shaking his head. “That’s true. But I am not doing myself any favors, either.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

So Zhenya explained what happened that morning. “And he had a birthday! Which I should have known, but he obviously didn’t feel comfortable in sharing that part of himself with me.”

 

He sat heavily in a chair and put his hands. “I need you to help me.”

 

“What do you need?”

 

Zhenya’s head came up as he heard an uncharacteristic seriousness in his friend’s voice. He smiled a little, to reassure them both. “I need you to keep me accountable. Ask me if I am making time to get to know Sidney, just the two of us. If I have spoken to him about more than just how he is.”

 

“Of course, Zhenya. You know you can count on me!” Alex finished his promise with a wink, and he stood to come stand next to Zhenya. “Besides, I think you may be surprised with Sidney. Don’t forget to leave your heart open for him to know you, too.”

 

“Sidney is so...accommodating. He doesn’t make any demands of me, and it has been easy to forget that he is now a part of my life,” shaking his head in wonderment of Sidney, he continued earnestly. “He fits in with the staff and his role, and he has impressed me. I don’t love him, but he is my husband. I need to keep facing that and try to care for Sidney in the way he deserves. I haven’t been doing that. There is no ignoring that he is in my life. I think what is scaring me the most is that I am beginning to want him with me and to know him.”

 

Alex clapped his hand to Zhenya’s shoulder. “Well, you know you came to the right guy, yes? Who else could make someone fall for your sorry self?”

 

Zhenya snorted and glanced up as his friend fondly. “Thank you.”

 

They spent the rest of their time together catching up and brainstorming ways to bring him and his husband together.Zhenya left with his heart uplifted and his resolve renewed.

 

~~

 

Zhenya woke feeling exuberant in a way that he hadn’t felt in a long time. Showering and dressing for the day, he loped down the stairs to the kitchen, hoping to catch his husband before their days go started.

 

He needn't have worried. Sidney was seated at one end of the table, face buried in a book, coffee cup in one hand that was slowly growing cold. So absorbed was he, that he missed Zhenya’s greeting and the clinking and scraping of dishes as Zhenya got his own breakfast.

 

Zhenya watched his husband with amusement for a few minutes, before realizing the book Sidney was voraciously devouring was the same one that kept disappearing from the library where he knew he had last left it. Chuckling to himself, Zhenya asked, out of the blue, “What did you think of the chase scene in chapter five? Is that something even possible for a human to do?”

 

Sidney visibly startled, sloshing coffee over the side of the mug to the table, as Sidney’s wide eyes came up to meet his over the book. His face quickly becoming pink, Sidney gently laid the book to the side and began mopping up the spilled drink.

 

“I’m sorry, Evgeni, I didn’t see you there.”

 

“I understand, that book is quite interesting,” said Zhenya, with a quiet smile on his face. “In fact, I have been looking for it for the last few days. It seems we both have taken quite a liking to this novel.”

 

If anything, Sidney’s face got redder, and he looked down at his plate. Zhenya, not quite ready to give up on this conversation, forged ahead.

 

“It has been bugging me, and I really want to make sure I get this right, so I’m just going to ask,” stated Zhenya. “Was it your birthday a few nights ago when you went out and I caught you as you were leaving?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Thought so. When would you like to celebrate it with me?”

 

Sidney’s eyes finally left his plate, once again wide with surprise. “Oh, well, anytime.”

 

He studied Zhenya for a few minutes and Zhenya tried to remain open and calm under the scrutiny.

 

“Evgeni?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Would you have wanted to come with me to my birthday?”

 

Once again Zhenya was taken aback by Sidney’s question. Once again he was reminded of his failure in this marriage. Now with his plan in mind to fix the trouble he caused, he decided to answer honestly and hope to let Sidney know that it was alright that he didn’t ask, even if he was still a little disappointed.  

 

“Yes, I would, but I understand why you didn’t ask. We don’t know each other very well, yet,” he said with a smile and watched Sidney relax and smile back at him.

 

“So what day should we go out?”

 

Sidney looked blankly at him.

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Do you want to do something fancy? Or does something casual seem better?”

 

“Casual would be nice,” said Sidney, thoughtfully. “But really, anything would be fine.”

 

He looked shyly at Zhenya. Zhenya smiled and said, more confident that the felt, “Don’t worry I will take care of everything and let you know.”

  
They both dropped the subject for now, electing to let the comfortable atmosphere fill the kitchen as they finished their meal. Sidney finished first and said his goodbye softly with another shy smile. Zhenya congratulated himself on ending a conversation with a smile from Sidney. He felt like he could take on the day now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank each and every one of you that has commended, left kudos, or subscribed. You are the lifeblood of this fic. I'm not going to give a definite update schedule on this chapter but I will be attempting to have the next chapter to you in two weeks. 
> 
> Next time: Sidney and Zhenya take a trip. 
> 
> As always, feel free to come chat with me on [Tumblr](http://theminiummark.tumblr.com/)  
> !


	9. Chapter 9

Zhenya was nervous. He had been planning Sidney’s birthday all week. He hadn’t felt this way since he had first laid eyes on Katya and got up the courage to speak to her. He tried not to examine that thought too closely and hoped this evening went well.

 

He had taken Sidney’s request to heart and kept it casual. He decided to plan a picnic and had the staff help him set everything up in his favorite part of the palace gardens. He had wanted to get to know Sidney without the eyes of the nation on their every move. He knew with the palace security and the seclusion of the location he had chosen, they would not be interrupted.

 

He wanted it to be special. He wanted to make up for how their marriage had started. He planned to woo his husband. He was finding the acceptance to finding love again, this time with Sidney. There was plenty to Sidney he could see, from the scarce time he had spent with him, that was admirable. He just needed to show Sidney that he was will to try. Hopefully tonight he would prove that to him.

 

Zhenya was dressed in loose white pants and a blue shirt with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He smoothed down his hair before knocking on his husband’s door. He felt like a teenager arriving for his first date! Straightening his back as the door swung open to reveal a softly smiling Sidney. All that Zhenya could take in was the dark green shirt that brought out the brightness of Sidney’s eyes, before he cleared his throat and offered Sidney his arm.

 

“Shall we?”

 

As he led Sidney outside, he kept the conversation light and flowing. Not intentionally, Sidney’s attention was on him when they walked into the, so he was able to catch all of his expression when he revealed the retreat that he had designed to celebrate Sidney’s birthday. There were blankets and pillows laid out in a comfortable pile, still managing to seem artful. A picnic basket was ready with finger foods like small sandwiches, fruit and vegetables, and bits of cheese and nuts. A bottle of wine was being chilled, ready for them to enjoy.

 

The arrangement was tented by a sheer netting that had fairy lights strung about, that coupled with the creeping dusk and the torches lit here and there, added an ethereal ambiance to the atmosphere.

 

Sidney’s eyes widened in wonder, and he turned a shy grin on Zhenya. “All this, for me?”

 

Zhenya felt his own shy smile take over his face in answer. “It’s not enough, I know, but it’s a good start. Come, let’s eat.”

 

He led Sidney to the tent and held the flap open for him to get settled and joined him in lounging on the pillows, reaching for the basket to serve them their food.

 

He insisted in making a plate for Sidney and paid close attention to what he asked. After arranging their food, he opened the wine and they settled into an easy conversation.

 

Zhenya took the time to ask Sidney the questions that had been popping into his head since he had decided to get to know is husband better. He learned that Sidney’s favorite color was blue, that he loved being outdoors and hated to be bored. He in turn offered up his own answers, and answered any of Sidney’s questions of him.

 

It was a perfect evening. He was completely charmed by Sidney. In a place where he could relax and really engage with Zhenya, he was giving up these adorable giggles and interesting stories of his life before he married. Zhenya was mentally congratulating himself on a job well done so far, but he was getting nervous again. He had a gift for Sidney, and he hoped that Sidney would love it as much as he loved what Sidney had gotten for him.

 

He took a nice sized leather box from the basket. It wasn’t wrapped, but it seemed that someone had caught wind of Zhenya’s intentions and added a multi-colored ribbon with a little tag wishing a Happy Birthday. He fiddled with it a little until Sidney noticed his fidgeting. Looking at his husband shyly, Zhenya pushed the box towards Sidney.

 

Sidney took the box in his hands carefully, before gifting Zhenya with a grin. He carefully removed the bow and opened the lid. Zhenya watched with his own breath stopped in his chest. He could hear Sidney’s breath catch in his throat as he takes in the beautiful watch and matching cufflinks nestled in the blue velvet lining.

 

Sidney’s wide eyes caught Zhenya’s as he breathed out his name and his fingers caressed the face of the watch. “I don’t -”

 

Zhenya cut him off. “Do you like them?”

 

Sidney’s smile lit up his face and made their little picnic seem all the brighter. Zhenya took in the way that his eyes crinkled when he was really pleased and his answering grin felt the most natural since he before he lost Katya.

 

Yes, tonight was a grand success.

 

“May I?” asked Zhenya, picking the watch up delicately and motioning for Sidney’s hand.

 

Sidney slid his fingers into Zhenya’s, his eyes bashfully caught up in watching him settle the watch about his wrist and close the clasp in place.

 

“Looks good on you, Sid.” Zhenya spoke softly. He felt if he spoke too loudly, the spell like quality that had fallen with the dusk would be broken. Then, like Cinderella, they would be back to being just ordinary.

 

Sidney’s smile, still bright and warm, settled deep within Zhenya’s bones. He hoped he could get that smile more often.

 

They talked for a while longer, until the dark started to truly settle in. Zhenya offered to walk Sidney back to his rooms, and Sidney, blushing, accepted. The not-of-this-world feeling followed them into the palace, and lent Zhenya the confidence that had deserted him earlier. As they reached Sidney’s doors to his suite, Zhenya turned him to look at him.

 

He gently cupped his hands around Sindey’s face and bent down to place a lingering, close mouth kiss to his lips. Eyes slid closed as he savored the moment of closeness between them. Then before his bravado deserted him completely, he pulled back to take in Sidney’s flushed and dazed face. Leaving a lingering kiss on his forehead, he stepped back to go to his own rooms, leaving Sidney with a hushed, “Good Night.”

 

~~

 

Sidney was walking on air. He didn’t care how cliche it sounded, that was what he was feeling. Ever since the kiss that Zhenya had ended their night with, Sidney couldn’t think of anything else. He would be brought back down to earth for a few moments with thoughts of wondering how serious Zhenya was about it? Why now? Did this mean he was interested in Sidney romantically? Only to get caught back up in the wonderment of how cherished he had felt throughout that kiss. How he had sat in the dark of his room, simply touching his lips with barely there brushes of his fingertips, hoping that he hadn’t really dreamed it.

 

Stuck in his kiss induced haze, the whispers and knowing looks from the staff went unnoticed far longer than what was normal form him. In fact, it took Flower laying out his late lunch in front of him, followed by him throwing himself in the chair adjacent and plonking his elbows on the table, chin in hands, saying, “So, his majesty finally showed up, huh?”

 

Sidney blinked at him. He had been staring at his coffee as the cream had slowly turned it caramel colored, thinking about how Zhenya’s kiss was a little bit like that…

 

“I’m sorry. What?”

 

Flower snorted. His eyes crinkled up with the wry twist of his smirk. “Well, something has you out of your head.”

 

Sidney blushed and ducked his head. He picked up his fork and idly stirred his food around as he contemplated what to say to Flower. What could be appropriate in this circumstance? before he could even decide what to say, Flower had already continued.

 

“You know what you need?” He asked. Sidney looked up in consternation. He had no idea where this conversation was going at this point. “You need a vacation.”

 

He blinked at Flower. “A vacation?”

 

“You know, a little ‘you’ time.”

 

Sidney narrowed his eyes at Flower’s overly cheerful tone. “And where would a prince consort take a vacation?”

 

“Funny you should ask,” said Flower. “The royal family has a mountain retreat they use. My cousin is their property manager there. You should ask Duper about it.”

 

And with dropping all of this on Sidney when he was least prepared, Flower made his escape into the pantry, and Sidney was left staring after him.

 

He looked down at his mangled breakfast, gamely taking a bite. With his head so muddled, maybe a vacation was exactly what he needed. He resolved to speak with Duper about it that afternoon and went about finishing his food.

 

~~

 

“Pascal,” said Carol Lynne as she breezed past Zhenya and Pascal as they went over the schedule for the budget summit taking place later that quarter. “Did Prince Sidney get the food Flower gave me to send with him?”

 

“Of course,” Pascal answered with consternation, looking affronted that he would forget such a thing.  

 

“Good, good,” she said, before breezing out again, already busy with the next task. Zhenya pinned a look on Pascal.

 

“Where is Sidney taking food?” he asked, a little suspicious. Normally Pascal was very forthright with what Sidney was up to these days. Zhenya was trying to be more conscientious of overstepping his bounds with Sidney, but he was too curious to hold his question back.

 

“He left for the mountains, sir,” said Pascal. “Earlier this morning.”

 

Zhenya didn’t reply, simply looking down at his desk, mind a hundred miles away, thinking of his husband alone in the mountains. He picked the conversation back up, making some progress in directing the changes he wanted to happen with the planning for the summit, but his mind wasn’t on what was being said.

 

Catching Pascal mid word, Zhenya said rather thoughtfully, “Pascal, I think I need some time off.”

 

Pascal stared at him for moment, before broadly smiling. “Certainly, sir. When were you thinking?”

 

“Today would be fine.”

 

“All right, sir. Is there anything else you need?”

 

“Yes, please let Paul know that I will be leaving for the mountain lodge tonight after my meeting. Make sure James is ready to go, as well.”

 

“I’ll take care of it, sir.”

 

With a decisive nod, Zhenya brought them back to planning, his mind settled now that he had a plan of action. They quickly wrapped everything up and Zhenya left to pack.

 

As he stood in his closet, he stared at the photo of Katya, before decisively turning to his suitcase. His last fond memory of the mountains were with her. He hoped this trip would only bring more good memories. Despite the pang of loss he felt, he was excited to see Sidney in an environment where he was not pressured by the position. He hoped Sidney might see him in a new light as well.

 

~~

 

Pascal went hunting for his wife as soon as the prince left. The smile on her face was absolutely wicked. He tried to keep a straight face, but soon lost it, catching her up in his arms as he laughed.

 

“You amazing woman,” he began, but cut himself off as he swooped in for a kiss.

 

She looked up at him, eyes sparkling. “I told you, sometimes love needs a little...push.” She went up on tiptoe to kiss him again, and it was some time before either of them returned to their duties.

 

~~

 

Sidney stretched as he crawled out of bed. So married to his routine had he become that he had woken before the sun and hadn’t been able to sleep again. He padded barefoot into the kitchen and made himself a cup of tea. Not seeing any of the staff around, he snagged a thick woolen blanket from the rocking chair by the door, and stepped out onto the deck that overlooked the valley.

 

He picked a sturdy looking wood chair and curled his feet under him, sipping his tea as he watched the sun rise. Taking in the scenery lasted for a time, but before long, his hectic schedule was catching up. He closed his eyes to soak in the early sunshine, but soon slipped back to sleep. He was still sound asleep when Zhenya found him over an hour later.

 

~~

 

Sidney woke slowly, the smell of fresh pine and the sound of the woods filling the air. He blinked at sun, now shining full in his face. He smiled and stretched like a cat, groaning in pleasure as the stress from sleeping in a chair eased from his body.

 

As he became more awake, he startled a bit as he spotted his husband in an adjacent chair. He blushed and looked shyly at him, catching Zhenya’s dark gaze. He smiled warmly at Sidney.

 

“Good morning,” he said. Sidney tried to will down his blush and the uncertainty that came with it. He had hoped to use this time away from the capital and his responsibilities to work through his feeling for this man. “You were up early.”

 

Sidney nodded, wondering why he had come. “Just habit, I guess.” His voice sounded rough from sleep, so he swallowed. “Did you get in last night?”

 

“Yes, quite late. I’m surprised I didn’t wake you.”

 

Sidney simply shook his head and offered a smile to him. He watched him smile back before leaning back in his chair and look out over the valley. He was quite striking in the morning sun, the light caught on the lighter strands in his hair and eyes, bringing a lightness that Sidney hadn’t noticed before. He had never gotten this warmth from him before, so unguarded before him.

 

As he watched, a moment of pain seemed to cross his face. His eyes narrowed, and his chest lifted in a sigh. It made those feelings of care, a longing he had pushed away when Zhenya had done the same to him, surge back up. He longed to soothe that pain away. He wanted to look away - but he just couldn’t.

 

From some unknown place, the courage to speak came to him, and he said softly, “It looked like you were thinking of Katya, just then.”

 

Zhenya looked at him sharply, before softening. He looked as though all bluster and braun has been drained out of him, and left him looking a bit lost. “I was. How could you tell?”

 

“I couldn’t, not for sure.”

Again Zhenya’s gaze left his, looking again at the view, his eyes not really seeing it. “She loved this place. The last time we were here was happy, and I was trying to see that, again.”

 

His voice was gruff and low with emotion. Sidney watched as he fought tears. Sidney’s own widened as he tried not to join him.

 

“I wasn’t expecting to feel this way,” Zhenya said, almost to himself. “I thought I was prepared enough. I came without really thinking about it.”

 

“Do you want us to leave?” Sidney offered, wanting to do anything to help him feel better. Zhenya looked at him, visibly reigning in his emotions. Sidney looked back at him, his eyes full of his care and understanding.

 

“No,” Zhenya said, finally, slowly shaking his head. “I think I need to stay, to work through this. I have been running enough. Thank you for offering.”

 

They fell silent then, until the housekeeper and cook, Dot, came to ask if they would like brunch. The took it on the deck in silence, too, each lost in their own thoughts. For a time, Sidney forgot that he was there with Zhenya, so comfortable the silence became. When he did think to look over, he found Zhenya as he had found him: fast asleep.

 

~~

 

The spent the rest of the day relaxing a bit before Zhenya mentioned a lake just down the mountain enough that was good for fishing. Without much talk, they both donned comfortable clothing and found the fishing gear and drove with Kris and James to spend the afternoon in the sun seeing what they could catch for dinner.

 

It was pretty calm for a while, conversation was kept to a minimum, before young, bright laughter echoing through out the trees heralded a group of three children and who appeared to be their nanny as they came into the clearing. The converged on the lake, splashing in the shallows and tossing rocks and sticks into the water. Sidney and Zhenya exchanged smiles as the two little boys caught sight of them and cautiously made their way over, standing shyly just far enough away to see but not be in the way.

 

Zhenya reeled in his line and turned to the boys, smiling. “Hello,” he said kindly. “Are you here to fish, too?”

 

The boys shook their heads, all big eyes and bashful looks, when they had just been so boisterous moments before. Sidney watched as Zhenya checked with the nanny, before going up to them with his pole and crouching down to their level.

 

“Well, since you didn’t bring any of your own tackle, do you want to help me with mine?” The boys nodded enthusiastically. He patiently showed them how to hold the line, while learning their names and ages. Soon, Zhenya had the older of the two cast the line and make sure he was comfortable, before leading the younger to Sidney.

 

“Sidney, this is David,” he said grinning at Sid. “Do you mind showing him your pole?”

 

“Not at all. Nice to meet you, David.” Sidney held out his hand to shake and he smiled at David’s serious greeting. “Why don’t we go a little closer to the water?”

 

Sidney stood behind David and showed him how the pole and reel worked and helped him cast his line, heaping praises as he went along. He glanced up, catching Zhenya’s eyes. He was just watching him, with a sort of wistful smile on his face, but turned into a full grin when he caught Sid looking back.

  
They spent the rest of the afternoon with the boys and their sister. They didn’t catch much in the way of fish, but Sidney often caught his husband’s eyes on him. As they made their way back to the house, Sidney observed his husband thoughtfully. The mountain air and clean sunshine seemed to do him a lot of good, as he seemed relaxed and softer than Sidney had ever seen. After seeing him with the children all day, and how quickly they took to him, Sidney was viewing his husband in a whole new way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me! All of your comments and questions certainly helped me stay motivated to get this to you as soon as I could. 
> 
> Expect the next chapter Wednesday, October 14th. This should get me back on schedule. As always, I'm lurking around [Tumblr](http://theminiummark.tumblr.com/) quite a bit, if you want to drop by and say hello.


	10. Chapter 10

Zhenya came down the stairs early that Saturday, dressed for hiking, only his boots left off. The stairway was wide and left a view to the open floor plan of the living area. What caught his sight before he was even half way down the stairs was his husband, bundled up in blankets, asleep on the couch. To give him privacy, yet still be available, Kris had positioned himself by the kitchen door. Zhenya caught his eye and made his way to him.

 

“Is he not feeling well?”

 

“Not exactly. I heard a noise around two this morning and came in to see him on the couch staring out the windows. Something about hearing a wolf right out the window and not wanting to go back to bed,” Kris said, frowning over at Sidney. “He was up for a good couple hours before falling asleep. I think he heard the coyotes that roam around.”

 

Zhenya looked over at his husband, taking in his peaceful face. He tread quietly, now grateful that he hadn’t worn his boots, and reached for his shoulder as soon as he was near.

 

“Sidney,” he whispered. “You alright?” He sat down in the bow of Sidney’s body, running his fingers through Sidney’s hair a bit to get him to stir.

 

“Yeah,” he said, voice rough from sleep. He blinked his eyes open and squinted up at Zhenya, before letting them flutter shut. “Is something wrong?”

 

Zhenya was utterly disarmed by Sidney in this moment. He was so soft and adorable, no barriers in sight. “No, nothing’s wrong. You fell asleep down here. Do you want to go back up to bed?”

 

Sidney blinked back up at him. His eyebrows pinched as he tried to focus on what Zhenya was asking. “Are you going somewhere?”

 

“Just ready for our hike a little early.”

 

“Oh, that’s right. We planned on that. Is it still okay that I come with you?”

 

“Yep, as long as you are up for it.”

 

“I think so.”

 

Sidney blinked and sat up. Zhenya stood to give him room and watched as he stretched, still not self conscious the way he had been since they had met. His shirt rose up to show his firm stomach and Zhenya stared.

 

“You are doing that a lot lately,” Sidney said, and when Zhenya tore his eyes from that flash of skin, he saw Sidney looking back at him, still sleepy eyed and rumpled.

 

“What’s that?”

 

“Staring at me.”

 

“I’m sorry, Sid, but I guess I’m a little amazed. You’ve been placed in such an unusual situation, but most of the time just take it in stride.”

 

Sidney gawked at him before groaning and hiding his now red face in his arms as he tipped back onto the couch and his nest of blankets.

 

Zhenya felt he learned a lot in those few seconds. Sidney wasn’t the type to flail about or prattle on when he was nervous. His movements were totally composed, but he tended to blush. It was a wonder that he had such an effect on Sidney, for one so self assured to become so flustered in his presence was something he would have to think on.

 

Smiling at Sidney, whose face had just emerged from the blankets, he held out his hand to help him to his feet.

 

“Take your time,” he said gently as he guided Sidney to the stairs with a hand around his waist. “We’ll leave to go hike when you are ready and have eaten something. No rush.”

 

Sidney nodded, still a little flushed and made his way up the stairs. Zhenya watched him go, smile still in place, admiring his husband as he went.

 

~~

 

It was a crisp, clear day. Sidney had insisted that they go ahead with their hike, not allowing Zhenya’s protests that he rest deter his determination to reach the top. They kept a steady pace and reached the summit just before noon. Conversation was light with long stretches of silence that never became uncomfortable.

 

Sidney took in the view. They had broken past the tree line and it was a wide grassy plateau they stepped into. He could see all the way down into the valley. He watched the clouds cast their dappled shadows and sighed with the wonder of what he could see. He was so caught up, that as he turned to take in more of the mountain, he noticed that Zhenya had taken the time to spread out on an outcropping of rock that had made smooth by the weather. He had his pack open and was taking out sandwiches and bottles of water for a snack before they continued on.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said and he hurried over to Zhenya. “I was daydreaming a bit. You must be hungry.”

 

As he settled next to Zhenya and started to open a bottle of water, he paused when he caught the expression on his face. He tipped his head to one side and continued softly, “I don’t know what all of your expressions mean, and I don’t want to be a bother, but I have to ask what’s wrong?”

 

“Tell me something, Sidney. Are you always so conscious of others? You seem like you are always putting the needs of others before yourself.”

 

“You make me sound so selfless,” Sidney replied with a self depreciating smile. “I guess I’m still a little afraid of making you angry. So, I really am just protecting myself.”

 

Zhenya smiled back at him. “I can see that. I don’t really anger easily with those I care about, but since I have shown you differently, I know I have to prove it to you. I think if we are both honest as we are being now, it will go a long way to our future together.”

 

Zhenya didn’t offer any more, so Sidney let the conversation quiet for a moment as they savored their food and the scenery around them. As they stood to begin the easier path back down the mountain, Sidney decided to be vulnerable again.

 

“Do you know what really surprises me?”

 

“What’s that?”

 

“How easy it is to live at the palace. I was so nervous,” he admitted. “I wasn’t sure how much privacy I would have and that I would make so many mistakes. No one makes me feel that way, in fact they have all gone out of their way to make me feel so welcomed.”

 

Zhenya grinned at him. “I’ve always liked how our staff seem just like family. I’m glad you feel that way, too. Do you miss home?”

 

“Sometimes. I’ve been away from home for a few years, now, though, so it’s just missing family time.”

 

Sidney smiled a little sadly, thinking of the time he has missed with his family.

 

“What does that smile mean?” Zhenya asked, and Sidney brought his eyes to meet his, catching him watching him intently.

 

“We are just as bad as each other,” Zhenya said suddenly. “I think that you have accepted all of this with such grace, and you think I am steady and unmovable.”

 

Sidney laughed a little, but didn’t share. He hoped that one day they would be able to find the closeness to know each other’s quirks and thoughts without analyzing every little thing. He knew that he had never had an opportunity to be this close with someone, and that the prince wasn’t ready to open himself up that much. He hoped he could be who Zhenya needed him to be.

 

He was relieved when they reached the house, and they were able to go their separate ways.

 

~~

 

When they returned home, both Sidney and Zhenya immediately had busy schedules to fill. Zhenya had meeting after meeting with advisors and infrastructure leaders and industrialists so that it was Friday morning before they had a chance to see each other more than in passing. He finally had most of the pieces in place to make present some major changes in the capitalist structure. There were a lot of good things he was hoping this bill would change, including how fair wages and taxes would correlate to a healthier middle class. All of these meetings were simply in preparation for presenting this bill.

 

As they sat down to breakfast that morning, Sidney has shyly reminded him of the dinner that they had planned with his parents in their wing of the palace that evening.

 

“Do you want me to meet you there, or do you want us to leave from here?”

 

Zhenya took a moment before answering to really look at his husband. For all that the time away had done them both good, it felt that they had fallen into their old ways. Zhenya realized Sidney was behaving cautiously around him again, mainly because he had not taken the time to connect with his husband. To be honest, he wasn’t even sure he remembered what he had said to Sidney yesterday before heading off to another meeting.

 

“I’m sorry, Sidney,” he said with a smile. He reached over and covered his hand with his own. “I have been too busy this week. We’ll leave from here together, if that’s alright. What time works for you?”

 

Sidney smiled back at him. “Six is fine. And please, don’t be sorry, I know you are busy.”

 

Zhenya pursed his lips a little. “While that is true, you are important as well. I’m sorry that I haven’t made time to say hello, at least.”

 

Sidney blushed and looked down at his food. Zhenya watched him. He had noticed that he had a tendency to blush still in his presence, but never before had he noticed it as distracting. With his continued attention, the blush brightened and spread from Sidney’s cheeks to touch his ears. Blinking himself out of his stare, he withdrew his hand after squeezing Sidney’s gently.

 

They finished their breakfast quietly and then went on their own ways, Zhenya’s mind constantly straying back to Sidney and his blush.

 

~~

 

“Hi, Sid,” the queen said warmly. “You look nice tonight.”

 

“Thanks,” replied Sidney, accepting the compliment and the hug. The king stepped up as soon as his wife let go and tugged him in for his own hug.

 

“You look nice too, Zhenya,” Natalia teased, who was standing back and watching his parents greet his husband so warmly.

 

“Thanks, Mama,” he said dryly and he bent to kiss her cheek and hold her close.

 

“Hope you are both hungry, Cindy outdid herself. We’re having roasted duck and potatoes, and because she knew Sidney was coming, cheesecake for dessert.”

 

“Well, now I’m hungry,” said Zhenya with a grin. He took Sidney’s hand and led him following his parents into the dining room. They settled in and as the food arrived, conversation slowed down as they enjoyed the good food.

 

“So, how is everything?” the king asked. “We need to pass the compliments to the chef.”

 

“This is great, as usual, Papa,” said Zhenya. “What do you think, Sidney? Everything alright for you?”

 

“Yes,” Sidney agreed fervently. “I was just reminded that we need to start eating at home more.”

 

“Are you out most evening, Sid?” Natalia asked.

 

“Yes, right now I am out almost every night during the week. I get asked to events and dinners so far in advance that when I look at my schedule I seem completely free. Then the week rolls around and I am booked straight. I’m trying to slow down a little, though.”

 

“Don’t want to over do it,” Vladmir said with concern.

 

“No, wouldn’t want that,” Sidney agreed, looking over at his husband, catching him smiling wryly at the turn in conversation.

 

“I think we missed something,” said Natalia in a faux whisper to her husband.

 

“Sidney wishes he’d missed it too,” Zhenya said rather dryly, which caused Sidney to laugh unexpectedly. He grinned back at Zhenya, glad they had gotten past that particular discussion.

 

They had dessert in the king’s sitting room with coffee and warm fellowship that Sidney hadn’t felt since he had moved to the palace. Glancing at his husband from the corner of his eye, he couldn’t help but think it was because of how the prince was trying so hard to make their marriage a success. Sidney was still feeling a little shy around his husband, but the conversation they were having was fast paced and helped him get past any awkward moments.

 

As plates were being set aside, Vladimir mentioned the upcoming Fall Fair. “About a month from now,” he told Sidney. “It’s an annual event that runs from Thursday evening to Sunday evening.”

 

“I’ve heard about it, but I’m not sure about what to expect.”

 

“Oh there is so much to expect. We have activities for children, games for all ages from a tug-of-war to a three legged race. There will be bake offs and pie eating contests. There is a play for the kids on Friday night, and a concert and  fireworks to end the Fair on Sunday.”

 

“This sounds fantastic,” said Sidney with excitement. “I had no idea it was so involved. Is there anything I can do to help?”

 

Natalia took over the conversation at that point, drawing Sidney in to what she and others at the palace have done to make it a success. So engaged with the queen, Sidney didn’t notice that his husband and the king had moved to a quiet corner of the room for their own conversation until he had looked to ask Zhenya a question and found him in deep discussion.

 

~~

 

“This has been nice, having you brought here,” Vladimir started. He had gotten up to refill his coffee cup, and Zhenya had followed along, hoping to talk with his father. Along with missing time with Sidney this week, he hadn’t really had time to talk with his father as his son as well.

 

“I’m enjoying it. It seems like Sidney is as well.”

 

“He seems more relaxed around you. Does your trip to the mountains have something to do with that?”

 

“Yes, he is. I think we are getting on better.”

 

Zhenya stared into his coffee cup. He felt like they were getting closer, but he was still so hesitant to move closer.

 

“How are you doing, Zhenya?”

 

Zhenya sighed and answered without looking at his father. He still felt wrong to say this, but this was his father. “How can I miss Katya and still be drawn to Sidney?”

 

“Because Sidney is here and needs you. Katya doesn’t.”

 

Zhenya brought his startled eyes up to meet his father’s serious ones. It was blunt, but put simply, it was the truth. Zhenya needed to hear it. He had been shying away from the thought for far too long already. His father was right. Katya was gone. There was nothing he could do for her anymore. Sidney, however, was right in front of him, and though it didn’t seem like it, he needed Zhenya just as much as he needed Sidney.

 

“Is that helpful or did it make it worse?” asked his father, reaching out to grip his shoulder firmly.

 

“I needed to hear it, as much as it hurts. It helps, it truly does. I care for Sidney. I’m feeling things for him that I didn’t think would be possible to feel again. I care if he is working too much. I care if he is happy.”

 

“That is where love starts, Zhenya.”

 

“I am so scared that I am caring too fast!” Zhenya continued. “I lie in bed sometimes wondering if he is alright. He is on my mind so much, that when I do see him, I just want to stare, to take him all in.”

 

“Don’t fight it, Zhenya,” the king said emphatically, squeezing his shoulder. “If you are falling for your husband, enjoy it. You are already doing the right things, showing Sidney the support and security that your love will bring to him. Every relationship that is worth something takes hard work and determination. If you are working to love Sidney, then it is natural for it to happen between you.”

 

Zhenya looked at his father with renewed faith. His parents believed in their marriage. He felt encouraged that he wasn’t a bad husband for missing his late wife and caring for his new husband.

 

They were drawn out of their conversation with a call from Natalia, asking the king about another memory of the Fall Fair that she couldn’t quite remember. For now, Zhenya put his thoughts of Sidney and their relationship on hold, enjoying the warmth of having his family near.

 

~~

 

Sidney was nervous. Zhenya had invited him to attend a council event with him tonight. He hadn’t been involved in anything high profile or as important as this dinner felt. He hoped that he would honor his husband and not do anything that could cause him any disappointment.

 

As he met his husband at the palace doors, he tried to shove any jitters down. As he looked to his husband, he noticed a pensive look on his face. Zhenya was caught up in his own thoughts, staring out the window. Sidney reached out to touch Zhenya and ask if he was alright, but Zhenya’s phone buzzed with a notification. Sidney watched his husband’s face cloud over for a second as he read whatever it was on the screen, before carefully smoothing away. Not wanting to bother him, Sidney took his hand back and turned to the window as well.

 

They arrived at the venue soon enough, and Zhenya disappeared with a distracted dismissal, telling Sidney he would catch up with him when the meal was served. Sidney did his best to look gracious, but the disappointment of being asked to accompany Zhenya, then abandoned post haste was bitter in his mouth.  

 

Sidney scolded himself in embarrassment for being jealous of an aspect of Zhenya’s job. In fact, he had a job to do tonight, even if it was just as the Prince Consort. Sidney tried to move confidently through the room, stopping to talk with those he recognized and anyone who wanted his attention. Every time his eyes alighted on his husband, though, Sidney couldn’t help but be mesmerized.

 

Zhenya was masterful with his audience. Even when caught in a serious conversation that had turned heated, he still held everyone captive around him. They listen and found great value in what he was saying, even if they disagreed. Sidney was so impressed.

 

For all that Sidney acted confident, he simply wasn’t in a role that commanded the same respect. He soon found himself set apart and alone in the room. He didn’t think anyone would cast a pitying look in his direction, but if they dared, he may have been tempted to say something quite rude. The disappointment from earlier came back to him the longer he stood alone, trying to look busy. They meal had just been announced and Sidney looked around in vain for his husband.

 

“Sorry I’m late.” Zhenya was suddenly next to him, taking his hand and leading them to their seats. “I was tied up in a conversation about wage reform and almost missed the announcement.”

 

Sidney couldn’t speak. He was afraid if he opened his mouth, he would regret what would come out.

 

“Are you alright?”

 

“Yes,” he said softly, not sure if it were true. He was feeling shame for being upset over not having his husband’s attention. It was the silliest thing, but simply having him there with him now, felt like a rescue.

 

He noticed the hard look his answer garnered, but he simply fiddled with his silverware and waited for the next course. Sidney tried not to think of how things had been when they first were married, but this evening was bringing those thoughts unbidden to his head.

 

After they had started in on the main course, and conversation had started back up again, Zhenya gently put his hand on Sidney’s arm and leaned close. “Are you having a good time?” he asked.

 

Sidney felt cornered. Despite the rescue he had felt with Zhenya’s appearance, now he felt vulnerable. He didn’t want to lie to Zhenya, but he felt abandoned and ashamed that he felt that way. He just needed a few minutes to get his head together. Without thinking further than that, he scooted his chair back and stood.

 

“Excuse me for a moment.”

 

With that he turned and headed out to the corridor by the restrooms. Turning the corner, just out of sight, Sidney stood still and just tried to breathe for a few minutes.  

 

~~

 

The look on Sidney’s face caused Zhenya great concern. He had seen Sidney look like that exactly once before, at Zhenya’s own cause. He had never wanted to see him like that again. Looking around the table at the other concerned faces, Zhenya excused himself as well, and left to search for his husband.

 

He finds him in the shadowed alcove around the corner by the bathrooms. Sidney is on his phone, speaking softly, yet hurriedly, like the words will run away before he can get them out of his mouth.

 

“It’s just so stupid, Taylor,” said Sidney, running his fingers through his hair. Now that Zhenya was close enough to hear the conversation, he debated on whether to come back or just wait out the conversation. He decides to retreat a bit and let Sidney finish.

 

Sidney talked for a few more minutes before ending the call and thumbing the phone screen off. Zhenya approached Sidney, hoping to help whatever it is that has upset him.

 

“Sidney, are you alright?”

 

Sidney turned to him, and smiled at him without it meeting his eyes. “Yeah, I’m fine, sorry to leave so suddenly.”

 

“Was the phone call urgent?”

 

Sidney looked at him curiously, before looking down at the phone still in his hand. “Oh, no. I just thought of something I needed to talk with Taylor about.”

 

“I don’t think your sister likes me very much.”

 

“Why would you say that?” Sidney asked, eyes narrowed at him. “Did she say something to you?”

 

“No, but the few times I have met her, it seemed like the jury was still out where I was concerned. I did steal her big brother, whom I am sure she adores, and I’m not sure she thinks I’m worthy of you.”

 

Sidney stared at him as he gave his response, eyes still narrowed. He sighed a little and looked down at his shoes, not replying to what Zhenya had said. He had meant to lighten the mood and draw Sidney out of his standoffish behavior, but with his continued reticence, Zhenya found himself becoming irritated with Sidney.

 

“Sidney, if something has upset you, the only way I can fix it is if you tell me about it.”

 

Sidney immediately became defensive, closing off his expression and folding his arms across his chest. “Well, I certainly wouldn’t want you to feel obligated to fix it.”

 

“What is that supposed to mean?”

 

“I don’t know, Evgeni, why don’t you tell me why you even bothered to bring me tonight.”

 

“What are you talking about? You are my husband.”

 

Sidney turned away from him, completely shutting Zhenya out from him. He muttered something, but he only caught the end. “...just husband in name, not deed.”

 

Zhenya felt like he had been slapped. He knew that he had a lot of ground to make up in his marriage, but to hear it from his own husband made Zhenya ache. He was seeing a side of Sidney he had never seen, even when he was angry at him, he had never acted hurt.

 

“Sidney, I’m sorry,” he said, reaching out, and putting his hand tentatively at Sidney’s nape. “I know I haven’t been a good husband. But I want to be, if you’ll let me.”

 

Sidney turned to look at him, already looking contrite. “I should be sorry, too. I am more mad at myself, for feeling this way. I know you have important things to do, and you don’t need someone clingy. I’m sorry I was feeling...disappointed, I guess.”

 

Zhenya smiled at him, pulling him in for an embrace. Sidney went willingly, melting against him. Zhenya felt like Sidney fit there, in totally different way than Katya. He was beginning to see what his father meant.  

 

“Let’s get out of here, okay? I’ll go make our excuses. Let Kris call Paul and we’ll go home.”

  
Sidney smiled the first real smile he had seen all day. Zhenya left him with Kris, pulling out his phone and texting Alex a quick text about how his feeling for Sidney were changing along with his love for Katya. Despite the turmoil the last few minutes had been, Zhenya felt that things were looking up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And update on time! Special thanks to anon8771 for taking the time to review the chapter and point out my many typos and for ananon23 for her amazing cheer-leading and brainstorming. You all are the best!
> 
> I hope you enjoy. The next update should be on October 28th. Where we learn that Sidney and Zhenya's private conversation wasn't as private as they thought.
> 
> As always, feel free to stop by and chat on [Tumblr](http://theminiummark.tumblr.com/)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's here! Thanks for all of your patience!
> 
> A special warning for this chapter: the end gets a little racy, so if sex isn't your thing, you can skip the last part of the chapter!

Zhenya walked into the kitchen and stopped abruptly as he noticed Sidney was not in his usual seat at the table.

 

“Have I missed Sidney?” he asked, as he turned and caught Flower out of the corner of his eye.

 

“He’s not been down yet this morning. But it shouldn’t be too long, unless he’s not hungry.”

 

“Does that happen often?”

 

Flower tipped his head to one side as he thought, “now that you mention it, there has only been once, maybe twice, that he has missed breakfast.”

 

Flower eyed him with a speculative glance. “I wouldn’t worry too much, Your Highness. Sidney loves his routine.”

 

Zhenya nodded and took a seat. The newspaper was already waiting for his husband, but Zhenya didn’t pick it up. His mind was too busy worrying about the night before and the fight they had. The way that Flower had brought up something else that he didn’t know about his husband made it feel like he was loosing track of his marriage. Again. It had already been a few months, and although the loss of Katya still hit him so hard that sometimes it was hard to breathe, the thought of how little he knew his husband was becoming equally difficult.

 

Nodding in thanks to Flower as he laid out breakfast in front of him, Zhenya started in on his eggs and picked up the newspaper to distract himself from his morose thoughts.

 

He dropped the newspaper in shock as he took in the bold words written across the page. “The Royal Marriage not so happily ever after all?”

 

As he read down the column, it seemed that someone had been lurking in the same hallway that Sidney and he had spoken in the night before. And not only had they heard the argument that had brewed between them, they had also caught the phone conversation that Sidney had with his sister.

 

The very worst part, though, was how they painted Sidney. He was colored as ungrateful, cold, and unsupportive. Another quote stated that he was shallow and superficial. All through out the article, they painted Sidney as a weakness to him and the crown. Zhenya was well aware how the paparazzi was fickle and traded in falsehoods, but this was on the front page of the capital’s leading newspaper.

 

Scowling down at the paper, he stood to his feet. He turned his dark gaze on the door as Pascal trode through. His face was serious, and he sent a look that shut Zhenya down before he could even open his mouth.

 

“I see you have seen the headlines.”

 

“It was hard to miss,” said Zhenya, folding his arms across his chest. “What is our plan of action?”

 

“Damage control. And for that we are going to meet with Jen, right now.” With those words, Pascal all but pushed Zhenya out of the kitchen to his office. Jen, the public relations director for the royal family was already there and waiting. The next three hours were spent comprehensively working a plan to give the public what they wanted: an up close and personal look at Sidney and Zhenya’s marriage.

 

~~

 

By the time Zhenya had time to catch his breath and think beyond “upholding the name and brand of the crown” and “you have to be serious about this, Zhenya. It will affect you more than you realize” it was well past lunch and deep into the afternoon hours.

 

Groaning as he stood from behind his desk, he stretched, looking around the room. His eyes softened as they landed on the photo of Sidney. Sidney - Zhenya was jolted back to the present as he realized that he hadn’t seen Sidney all day. Where was his husband? Why was he only now thinking of him? He had been talking of him all day, and somehow he had completely slipped his mind.

 

Sending a quick text to Pascal to have his assistant hold all his calls, he practically ran from his office, intent on tracking down his husband.

 

~~

 

Sidney was hiding. A few weeks into his marriage with Zhenya, he had found a little used library in king regent’s wing of the palace. It had huge windows and was very quiet. He settled himself in one of the large wing back chairs and gazed out the window. The best part of this library was that he could come here and just be. The king and queen regent hadn’t much use of the library lately, so it was left alone for much of the time except for the cleaning staff.

 

Well, he was on his own as long as he notified his security. The first time he had wandered off to explore and get away for a little while, he had gotten Kris into quite a panic. It had taken him two hours and a quite a search of the security team to find him. He doesn’t think that the staff has quite forgiven him for inflicting Kris on them that day.

 

With the news this morning of the fight he had with Zhenya the night before, Sidney needed some space. He had spent the morning with a public relations specialist and they had coached him on what to say and do and told him that Zhenya would be getting the direction and would discuss it later with him.

 

For the first time, Sidney truly felt that his life was not his own and that it was at the whim of not only his husband and the crown, but also the public opinion. It made him uneasy. He knew that Zhenya was working on a sensitive piece of legislation, and that capitalizing on any weakness would make him and thereby his proposed bill look weak, but Sidney wasn’t used to this.

 

He hoped Zhenya wouldn’t stand for that and that the plan would be to show how Sidney wasn’t a weakness, but right now he felt like one. A liability. A hindrance when all he had wanted was to be a help to the prince.

 

This was all his fault. If only he had kept his insecurities to himself!

 

No longer able to keep himself still, Sidney stood and paced around the room. He hadn’t been at it long, but enough for his hair to be standing on end from his fingers running through it. A soft knock came at the door and Kris leaned around the door to speak.

 

“Sir, the prince has asked for your whereabouts. Would you like me to tell him you are available?”

 

Sidney just simply nodded, even though his mind was screaming to escape. Kris backed out of the room with a finger to his ear, already communicating with the security team. Embarrassment and guilt became Sidney’s companions again, and only worsened when his husband arrived a few minutes later, looking harried.

 

“Sidney, I’m sorry that we haven’t had the chance to talk yet, I came as soon as I could - “

 

He held up his hand to stop Zhenya’s words. “No, I’m sorry. This whole situation is my fault. I’ve caused so much trouble for you, all because of my own insecurity.”

 

Zhenya had started shaking his head the minute he had started speaking. By the time he had finished, Zhenya’s arms were wrapped around him and they felt so good, that he just gave in and hid his face in his husband’s shoulder.

 

“Sidney, you have nothing to be sorry about. This is no one’s fault, except for the person who decided to sell our personal business to the press.” Zhenya’s warm voice rolled through Sidney, and he shyly brought his arms up to hold him in return.

 

“Sidney, I’ve been thinking about this. There are a lot of things that the PR team want us to do, but I want to make sure you know this: no matter what, I am dedicated to you and this marriage. My parents were absolutely right in choosing you. You are not a weakness.”

 

He pulled back long enough to look into Sidney’s face, his own very serious. “Intimacy, with anyone, physical or otherwise, is very uncomfortable with someone you don’t know. We can use this issue as an opportune time to use this to get to know each other. Because I do want to know you and have you know me.”

 

“You do?”

 

“Want to know you, yes. Very much.”

 

“And it’s okay that I know you, too?”

 

Zhenya’s face did something complicated with that question.

 

“Yes. you thought otherwise?”

 

“Yes, but I understood why you might not.”

 

“Thank you for that, but this marriage is going to be empty and lonely if we don’t work on the walls that are keeping us apart.”

 

Sidney nodded. He could have told Zhenya that their marriage was already feeling very lonely for him. He hadn’t expected it to be that way, but it was. He could also tell that Zhenya recognized that and wanted it to change. He was still nervous himself at letting Zhenya closer, when he had been so open coming into the marriage. But Zhenya was asking, and Sidney was willing, so it was time to step up.

 

“I think the first thing I should mention is this,” started Zhenya, a smile playing about his mouth as he drew away a little from Sidney. “I want you to know, Sidney, that you can call me by Zhenya, if it pleases you. It is what all my close friends and family call me by, and as I hope we continue to draw closer, I ask that you think on it.”

 

Sidney smiled for what felt like the first time today. “I can do that. And please don’t stand on ceremony, you can call me Sid, as well.”

 

The spent the remainder of the day, shuttered away from the world in that little library, talking of ways to publicly show how their marriage was progressing. All the while, Sidney found himself softening to his husband. He chose to trust his husband and believe that this was the start of a new season for their marriage.

 

~~

 

“What are you doing today?”

 

“Oh - Zhenya, you startled me!” Sidney spun around, still in his work out clothes. He had been headed for the shower. Zhenya leaned up against the door to his room, looking quite comfortable, himself. He had a smug look to his face, and Sidney realized it was the first time he had used the diminutive of his name since being invited to a few days ago.

 

“Do you have a busy schedule?” Zhenya asked again.

 

“Uh, no. Today is very open,” said Sidney, wide eyes still on the prince. He knew that they were going to be taking more time to get to know one another, but having your handsome husband show up at your door looking cooly confident was not something he was expecting.

 

“I was planning to go shopping,” he continued, seeing as Zhenya was waiting for him to say more.

 

“Alone?”

 

“Well, with security, but yes.”

 

“I’ll go with you,” Zhenya offered, his face open, looking all too much like a puppy begging for a treat. Sidney found it very hard to say no to a face that looked like that.

 

“Alright, Zhenya. We’ll leave when I’m done with my shower?”

 

“Sounds good! I’ll go order the car and make sure that Duper knows we’ll be out,” he said as he headed through the common room they shared to his own room, leaving the doors open as he went.

 

Soon enough, they were in the town car driving to the shopping district near downtown, Sidney giving directions as Paul asked. As they got closer to their destination, though, Sidney felt his face growing hot.

 

“There is something I need to tell you, Zhenya.”

 

“Alright. Whatever it is, it’s fine, Sid.” Zhenya reached over and laid his hand on his on the seat between them. Looking up into his husband’s eyes, Sidney steadied himself.

 

“I’m going to shop off the list I made today, just like I planned, even if it is uncomfortable.”

 

“That’s fine,” said Zhenya slowly, taking in his earnest face and smiling at him. “I, uh, take it that you have some...personal items you need to get?”

 

Sidney barely nodded, trying desperately not to get more embarrassed. Noting that they had arrived, he quickly got out of the car and made his way to the first shop he could see.

 

“Sidney.”

 

He turned to see Zhenya, smiling shyly, but very bashful as he bit his lip. He remained silent until their eyes met.

 

“Thank you,” he said.

 

“For what?”

 

“For shopping off your list.”

 

Sidney nodded and moved on his way. He wondered if his husband knew exactly how kissable he looked when he was bashful. He used that thought as a focus to get past his embarrassment and hoped they had a good day, his list and all.

 

~~

 

Zhenya held up an orange, plaid shirt, not very serious about suggesting it, but Sidney’s expression alone was worth picking it out.

 

“Do you not like plaid? Or is it the color that makes your face scrunch up like that?” He asked, grinning as Sidney huffed and crossed his arms across his chest.

 

“Both are equally bad, but I really can’t stand the color orange.”

 

Zhenya blinked, caught suddenly by a stray thought.

 

“So on a scale of one: you tolerate it and ten: you hate it or can’t stand it, where do you fall?”

 

“Probably around a eight or nine, I guess.”

 

Zhenya stared at him in shock. He didn’t seem like anything was off, while Zhenya was being hit in the face again with how selfless his husband was.

 

“Sid, your whole room is orange.”

 

He watched Sidney completely freeze. He knew he had to tread cautiously here.

 

“Sidney, did nobody tell you that you could redecorate to your hearts content. That we wanted you to be comfortable?”

 

“Yes, they did, but -” Sidney paused, and he could see him weighing his words. He continued softly, “Evgeni, I thought Katya decorated my room.”

 

Zhenya gazed at him, care for this man filling him up. Such tender feelings he had for his husband who thought of his feelings as he did, even at a time when he didn’t know him!

 

“You thought it would upset me to see things changed?”

 

Sidney nodded, eyes firmly stuck on his shoes.

 

“I appreciate that, really, but Sid, Katya never stayed in those rooms. She moved into my suite when we married. My grandfather actually decorated those rooms, to all of our own consternation. When he moved into the north wing, we just left it alone. Sid - if you hate orange, please change it to whatever you would like.”

 

Sidney nodded again and turned back to looking through the racks of shirts. Zhenya felt the tension that settled over them with this conversation. He didn’t think he did anything wrong, but pushed through his own uncomfort and slid his hand across Sidney’s back and pulled him into a side hug. He squeezed his shoulder and gave Sidney a soft smile as he looked up at him.

 

“If you are done here, let’s go eat some lunch. There is a great little place right around the corner.”

 

Sidney returned his smile and nodded. The ended up having a pleasant afternoon, finishing up SIdney’s list and enjoying each other’s company. Zhenya couldn’t help feeling that Sidney was feeling down about something. He didn’t smile as much and seemed lost in his thoughts. Zhenya simply took this as permission to do everything he could to make Sidney laugh.

 

Even though he didn’t quite earn the adorable honking giggle he has heard from Sidney before, he did get a few quiet chuckles and a Sidney that appeared lighter and softer around the edges than before.

 

~~

 

Zhenya’s hands smoothed down along Sidney’s heaving flanks. Sidney was spread out beneath him on the crisp white sheets, his dark hair mussed by his hands and the tumble to the blankets.

 

Zhenya marveled at his soft skin; his eyes blown wide with passion as they gazed up at him. Zhenya felt the firm strength in his body as he strove against him. Holding himself back no longer, he allowed himself to taste.

 

He left open-mouthed, sucking kisses along Sidney’s neck and heard him give up moans and groans of his pleasure; the sensation of Zhenya’s tongue adding teasing licks to his skin between kisses. Zhenya set his teeth to Sidney’s earlobe and felt his hands that were previously gripping hard at his shoulders, scratch long lines of heat down his back to his ass, gripping him to grind them together.

 

Zhenya came back to Sidney’s mouth, kissing him with fervor. Sidney opened to him, caressing his tongue along Zhenya’s, before their mouths sealed together. Zhenya pulled away to grin wildly down at Sidney, before he drug his body down over Sidney’s until he was laying between his legs. He caught Sid’s eyes as he looked up at him from under his eyelashes, before directing his gaze to his straining erection.

 

Nuzzling at Sidney’s balls, he set his nose at the place where the scent of him was the heaviest and just breathed him in. Licking a long, wet, stripe along the crease of his thigh, he gripped Sidney in earnest and circled the head of Sidney’s dick with his tongue. After a few seconds of teasing, he looked into Sidney’s eyes and took the tip into his mouth.

 

Sidney threw his head back with a loud. long groan. It seemed to come from the very deepest part of him. His hands found Zhenya’s hair, threading his fingers through the soft strands, he held on gently as Zhenya began to suck.

 

Finding the bottle of lube that he left beside them in the sheets, he slicked up his fingers while keeping pace with his long, slow sucking. Sidney was holding himself tense, trying to control his hips from thrusting. Zhenya pulled away to have Sidney’s clenched eyes come open and look back to him.

 

“Sid, you have to relax.”

 

Sidney’s wide eyes saw his glistening fingers and he nodded, his muscles going soft and smooth under Zhenya’s, as he closed his eyes and he took a deep breath.

 

Zhenya knew that now was the best time to begin, so he lowered his head and took Sidney into his mouth while slowly petting at Sidney’s hole, feeling him clench and release. Sidney was panting now, quietly concentrating on what Zhenya and his hands were doing. Zhenya added a swirl of his tongue as he sucked up to the head, cupping his tongue on the down stroke so the sensitive spot under the head caught on his tongue and rubbed against his palate. Sidney whimpered and loosened and Zhenya’s finger slipped in easily, which turned Sidney’s whimper to a groan.

 

Zhenya thoroughly and quickly prepared Sidney, making sure to drag along his prostate and suck hard at the head of his dick while he did. He was was beyond aroused. The sounds Sidney was making left him dripping steadily to the sheets and grinding down against the bed when the urge became too much.

 

Having felt that Sidney was ready, he sat back on his heels and and gently pulled his fingers from Sidney’s body. He stroked himself quickly with his slick hand before wiping his hand on the already mussed sheets.

 

He gently turned Sidney on his side and slid in close behind him, one long arm wrapping around Sidney’s chest and tugging him in close, so that his chest was molded to his back. With his other hand, he guided his erection to Sidney’s entrance. Checking one last time before finally entering, he opened his mouth  -

 

Only to be interrupted by a loud beeping. Zhenya sat up, alone in bed, only the ache in his dick and the empty feeling in his arms to accompany him. He groaned and flopped to his back, rubbing his hands over his face. Such a real dream, he could still feel the weight of Sidney pressed against him.

 

He had never dreamed of Sidney. It had always been Katya, no matter how much he tried to have Sidney in his thoughts before he fell asleep. Something new was happening. In a swift move, he sat on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. He looked at the doors leading to the shared common room between them, and longed to go find Sidney and see if the feelings he had now were the same when he saw his face in his waking hours.

 

He reminded himself that he needed to go slowly. That more than just his heart was on the line. Zhenya rose from and went to the bathroom. Splashing water on his face, he felt his pulse settle, but butterflies were still dancing away in his stomach. As he finished getting ready for the day, his mind was firmly settled on his husband. He hid his excitement as he headed for the kitchens, ready to see his husband again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all for your lovely comments and for those continuing to read! 
> 
> As we move into the holiday season, I will be continuing to work on this piece and want to stick as close to the two week updating schedule, however, I know that it may be difficult to do that. I will be posting status updates on my [Tumblr](http://theminiummark.tumblr.com/), so feel free to drop by!
> 
> In the next chapter: Sidney visits the children's center and faces a difficult choice.


	12. Chapter 12

Sidney watched as the little boy next to him at the table picked up his fork full of grey, sauce covered noodles and slowly tip it until it slopped back to his tray. He watched one little girl simply stare down at her food - not once had she picked up her fork to eat. All around him, the children were lifeless or outright disdainful at what had been served to them. As Sidney looked around the room, none of the caretakers or visitors were eating the food, except for himself.

 

After tasting the food himself, he had quickly brushed aside the argument that the director had given him: the children simply don’t like healthy food. If all healthy food tasted this badly, he certainly would not be excited to eat!

 

Sidney felt the time for a confrontation had come. He had a meeting with the board in a few minutes. He said his good-byes to the children at his table and then made his way to the restroom to freshen up. He stood in front of the mirror and took a cleansing breath. He nodded to himself and made his way to the small meeting room in the administrative part of the center. By the time he had taken his seat, he was ready.

 

He waited as old business was discussed before standing when the floor was opened for new discussion. He looked around the table, taking the time to meet everyone’s eyes before beginning.

 

“It has come to my attention that as a member of the royal family, I am allowed a certain authority, within reason, at this facility. Is this correct?”

 

Nods came from around the room and the chairman of the board verbally agreed.

 

“Yes, Prince Sidney. You have the power to add or adjust any policies, procedures, or by-laws that only the king can change.”

 

“Thank you, Mr. Chairman,” continued Sidney. “I have not felt the need to take advantage of that status, as I wanted to allow time to get to know the staff, the children, and the policies here at the center. But today, that will change. Effective on November first, just a little over five weeks from now, no employee, director, or boardmember of this center will be allowed to bring any food onto the premises, including the parking lot.”

 

A stunned silence followed his words. It did not take long for the board members to recover. The director of the center was the first to speak.

 

“Prince Sidney, I must remind you that the staff only has a scheduled thirty minute break allowed for lunch and two other ten minute breaks throughout their shift. That simply is not enough time for them to leave the center for food off this campus.”

 

“You are correct,” said Sidney, trying to be gentle, yet firm. “This means that they will need to eat what is prepared, here, in our kitchens.”

 

Sidney watched the faces of the board members closely. There were those who simply looked resigned, others looked disgusted before quickly covering it up, and there were those who were watching him shrewdly. The director’s face had gone quite red, and her hands were clenched in front of her.

 

“I don’t think you know what you’re asking -”

 

“Oh, I understand perfectly what I am asking, Mrs. Howe. This is why I am giving you five weeks to make the change. It is obvious that the food we are feeding the children is can barely be considered ‘good.’ Today is the last day that I will see children, who are in a place of our care, be given food we would not serve our own families.”

 

“I don’t think you understand the scope of what you are asking,” Mrs. Howe began again. “When you are preparing food in large amounts in this type of facility, it tends to have an, well, institutional-type flavor.”

 

“I do understand. I also don’t accept that as good enough. There certainly will be some limitations we will continue to face, but I have examined your books. I have appreciated your thoughtfulness around frugality, but you will no longer cut costs in areas that are detrimental to the well being of the children. We are starting in the kitchen. I want fresh fruit and vegetables served at every meal. I want meat not smothered in sauces over noodles. I want fresh goods baked and served once a day, not made on Monday and served throughout the week.”

 

He looked around the table again. Some of the eyes he met held fury and contempt. Others showed respect.

 

“This care center can provide better food. Three healthy, delicious meals, with snacks in between, will go much further for the lives of the kids we are housing and raising here. No matter how briefly or how long they are here, they are our children, and they should be treated with the respect they need,” he said quietly, his own conviction coming through with his words as he stared down each person sitting in the meeting. “You have five weeks to make the changes. If that is not enough time, you may come to me with your concerns, but this policy now stands.”

 

Sidney took his seat, trembling inside. The table was silent as they stared at him. He dropped his eyes to his folded hands on the table. He only looked up as arguments all about the table broke out. As he did, he caught the eye of one of the sternest women at the table. Sidney forced himself not to look away. Just before she was drawn into discussion, she winked at him. That gave him the courage to stand firm.

 

~~

 

Sidney put his hands on his knees as he stopped hitting the punching bag. Sweat dripped from the curl on his forehead to run along his nose. His knuckles were numb. The morning’s meeting at the Children’s Center was long and heated and he had felt an overwhelming need to get the negative feelings out. He headed right for the gym the moment he got home.

 

Shaking out his arms, he stretched and grabbed a towel to wipe at his face. He slung it about his shoulders and made his way back to his rooms. He paced around his bedroom, feeling too hot and miserable, reevaluating everything he said at the meeting earlier. He had taken the towel and thrown it at the chair and was just stripping of his shirt when a thought hit him.

 

What if he’d gone too far? What if he put the crown in a bad light? With their negative publicity as of late, maybe he should have talked with Zhenya first. How would he explain this to Zhenya?

 

He was still stuck in his swirling thoughts when there was a knock at the door. Turning bare chested to the door.

 

“Come in,” he called absently, looking up to see Zhenya enter and then freeze, eyes glazed over as he took in Sidney. Sidney didn’t really notice though, still stuck on the fact that he could have disappointed Zhenya.

 

“Zhenya, can the prince consort be fired?”

 

Zhenya came out of his daze from staring at Sidney’s chest to stare closely at Sidney’s face.

 

“No,” he finally said slowly.

 

Sidney nodded, but didn’t feel any better.

 

“Sidney, is there something you want to talk about?”

 

“I just made a decision at the Children’s Care center, and now I I’m doubting that I made the right choice.”

 

“Well without knowing all of the situation,” said Zhenya. “I trust your judgement. Whatever you said or did was done for a good reason, that much I know.”

 

Sidney stared hard at his husband, taken back by his words. “You have that much faith in me?”

 

“Sidney, even if I don’t know you the way I want to yet, doesn’t mean that I don’t understand that you are doing everything you are for the children. If you had to make a decision to help them, then it is the right thing.”

 

Sidney nodded, not looking away from Zhenya. “Thank you. I think I needed to hear that from you. Especially after today.”

 

Zhenya smiled. “You are most welcome.”

 

Sidney smiled at him again before he looked down and realized his half naked, sweat covered self was on display. His composure evaporated as his blush took over his face. He heard Zenya chuckle and peaked up at him under his lashes. Zhenya had turned away from him, and started for the door.

 

“It was nice seeing you, Sid!” He called cheerfully over his shoulder.

 

Sidney groaned in mortification and hid in his bathroom.

 

~~

 

Zhenya and Sidney were making their way slowly around the lobby of the Embassy Theater. They had been invited by the prince’s second cousin to the opening night of his first production, and it seemed like it would be a perfect evening out.

 

During the intermission, it seemed as though everyone and their brother wanted to stop and say hello and shake their hands. They were far more interested in the royal couple than the play.

 

Sidney was getting antsy. He was never really sure about what to do with himself when there was so much attention put on him. And tonight, every person introduced themselves with such an air of adoration. He felt uncomfortable because it was so misplaced. He was just Sidney - a guy who happened to marry the prince. But he tried to be polite and give everyone as much time as he could. He knew it was important for Zhenya, and the royal family, that he was open and engaging.

 

Suddenly, Kris was there at Sidney’s right side, his arm crushed in a strong grip, while Kris pressed his right hand tight to his earpiece. Sidney could see the muscles clench down in his jaw, and he took in what was being relayed down the line.

 

Sidney, startled, looked to Zhenya and saw James on the other side of the prince. He was speaking low and hurriedly in his ear, and each word made Zhenya’s face colder and harsher in response.

 

“This way, Prince Sidney. You need to come with me.”

 

Sidney had no time to ask what was wrong, as he was now being hustled toward the box office and the wing of offices behind it. He turned to look for Zhenya, but he was already a half step behind him, his large hand came down as a firm weight at his lower back as they moved quickly out of the crowd.

 

Other members of the audience coalesced around them, shielding them from the larger mass of people. Well, they had appeared to be other members of the audience, but as Sidney tried to take in what was happening, a woman’s face, surrounded by a mass of black curls, stood out to him. Another tall, broad man to his right also was strikingly familiar. Sidney realized that he had seen them here and there when he has been out running errands, or spending time on the palace grounds.

 

Panic rose up in Sid. If they had broken their cover now, then surely something very serious was happening. He turned to Zhenya, wanting to make sure that he was alright, an urge to protect this man beside him taking over the panic he felt a few moments before.

 

Zhenya’s face was locked down. His brows were drawn low over his eyes, his jaw was clenched, narrowed eyes sweeping the the crowd around them. When Sidney took his husband’s hand from his back to hold in his own, Zhenya’s intense gaze fell on him with a glower. He felt like the floor had been pulled out from him, so he didn’t let go of his husband’s hand, but he wondered if he had done something wrong. The worried words died in this throat.

 

Now was not the time for Sidney to be thinking about if he did something to offend his husband. He remained quiet, staying aware of what was happening around them as they were ushered out of the theater and into the waiting armoured cars.

 

~~

 

Zhenya tamped down on the fear that was taking over the parts of his mind that he needed to use to focus. When James had told him that a video of Sidney and himself in their seats at the theater was sent to the palace with a message threatening their safety, the shock of it had almost overwhelmed him. The video had obviously been taken with a cell phone or small hand-held camera, so anyone in the lobby could be a threat.

 

He fisted his hand in the fabric of Sidney’s suit, pulling him closer. He remained vigilant, letting his gaze prowl around at the throng of the audience. Zhenya was used to the risk that his position as a leader to his country meant, but the audacity that these people had to put Sid in the way of harm was inexcusable to him. His fear became anger as they rushed out of the theater into the waiting cars.

 

Sidney took his hand from where it was clenched, protectively ushering him forward at the small of his back, and tucked it into his own. His eyes came up to meet Zhenya’s. He took in the furrow between Sid’s brow, the way that his eyes were searching his for answers that he just didn’t have. His glower worsened as he thought of what danger Sidney was in. Sidney’s hand tightened around his, but he stayed quiet as they reached the cars, eyes turned back to survey the sidewalk of the theater.

 

They both stalled as the reached the open door to the armored car. Zhenya was adamant that Sidney get to safety first, yet Sidney seemed to think that Zhenya needed to go first. Zhenya glared at Sid, motioning at the open door.

 

“Get in, Sidney,” he growled. “I am right behind you.”

 

Sidney jerked his hand from Zhenya’s at that and reluctantly climbed into the car, glancing pointedly back at Zhenya as he did so. The smolder of anger that had been building up behind his eyes lessened at the increasingly familiar selflessness that Sidney showed everyone around him. He slid into his seat and his hand was immediately captured by Sid’s once more.

 

James and Kris climbed in as well and they were off to the palace just a few scarce minutes after initial call came in. Now somewhat safe, Zhenya turned his gaze on James, motioning him for details.

 

“The secret service is still trying to trace the message. It was sent through an email with a link to a video taken during the first act of the play,” began James, his voice clipped with tension. “So far we are fizzling on the IP address, but we will keep looking.”

 

Zhenya nodded, trying to calm himself. He squeezed Sidney’s hand, looking over to give him a tight smile. Sidney cautiously smiled back, his confusion evidenced by the continued bunching of his brow as he turned to look back out of the window. When no questions came from Sid, Zhenya turned back to their protectors.

 

“What was the actual threat?”

 

Kris looked cautiously at Sidney before he focused on Zhenya.

 

“They made assertions about your safety,” Kris started, his words coming deliberately. “It was...alluded that they were working for the best interests of the Union.”

 

Zhenya's brows went up. The Union was the opposing group of corporate lobbyists and moguls that have been vehemently opposed to the new bill and reforms that Zhenya and his council had been working on for a large part of the year.

 

They had never issued threats before.

 

Zhenya pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a sigh. He had no idea that when he had begun his reforms that it would result in this sort of action.

 

“Who is the Union?”

 

Sidney’s quiet question shook him out of his thoughts. He looked to his husband and met worried hazel eyes.

 

“They are an opposing group to the labor reforms that I have been working on for a better part of the year,” said Zhenya, choosing his words carefully. He wanted to share with Sidney the seriousness of what he was working on, but he didn’t want him to feel unsafe until they knew with certainty what they were faced with.  “We are presenting a bill before the Council in a few weeks. The Union has been very vocal in their disapproval up to this point.”

 

Zhenya watched as Sidney listened and saw the questions that were hovering just behind his expression. He watched as Sidney pushed them away and determination take over for the confusion.

 

“What do you need me to do?”

 

It was with this question that all uncertainty Zhenya had of Sidney being the right person to spend the rest of his life with flew away. He smiled at Sidney.

 

“For now, just stay safe and listen to Kris,” he replied, looking toward Kris, who was nodding seriously along. “We will have more details as they continue to investigate the threat, but for now we just need to be patient.”

 

Sidney nodded and squeezed his hand tightly. Zhenya held on just as tight, hoping that this would be handled quickly.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's here! I am hoping to have the next chapter done before the end of the month. Thank you all for your patience! 
> 
> As always, feel free to stop by My [tumblr](http://theminiummark.tumblr.com/)  
> for updates and more!


	13. Chapter 13

Sidney was brooding. It was not an affliction that normally had a hold on him, but the events of the past few weeks, and indeed in the last few days themselves, had lent him the opportunity. This morning he was granted a cancellation in his schedule, which lead to a day free of any appointments. Sidney was a man of action, and to find himself suddenly not able to do anything about the threat that stood facing him and his new family - it was not sitting well with him. 

 

He was in his office, trying to find something useful and productive to work on, but his mind kept wandering. Zhenya was busy with legislature and counter arguments the labor reforms he was proposing. His mind kept going back to their first negative press as a couple, then to the threat that caused them to cut their evening short. None of the security staff, nor Zhenya, has given a Sidney a clear view of why they were being targeted, but he couldn’t help but things are connected with Zhenya’s work. 

 

Now he was left just feeling useless.  He had never really relied on someone else to take care of things, and while he had learned to get used to the staff taking care of him, it was very hard for him to let go of the feeling that he should be doing more to protect Zhenya and himself. 

 

He really didn’t want to see the look of helpless fury on Zhenya’s face again. 

 

As he was contemplating all of this, his eyes wandered to his almost constant companion as of late, Kris, his bodyguard. And an idea sparked in Sidney’s mind. 

 

“Kris, maybe you can help me with something…”

 

~~

 

Sidney was greeted at the shooting range by two tall men. The taller of the two greeted Sidney as soon as he was near.

 

“Prince Sidney,” he said with a clear voice. “The chief of security called and said you might be coming. I’m Mike and this is my assistant, Rick. Would you like us to give you a tour?”

 

“Thank you,” Sidney replied graciously. “I don’t want to be in the way. The chief did tell you why I was here?”

 

“Of course. We are happy to help in any way we can. We would be honored that you would join us.”

 

“The prince has a gun here, as well,” added the assistant. “You may shoot if you wish.”

 

Sidney blanched so badly, he actually took a step backward. Zhenya’s gun...that didn’t sound like a good idea for him to be handling. 

 

“Maybe I’ll just take a look around first?”

 

They were all smiles and spent the next hour showing Sidney the extensive grounds, including skeet range, clubhouse, and shop. When they went out to show her how the skeet competition worked and offered him a shot gun as the walked onto a smaller range; he would not take Zhenya’s.

“We have another one,” Rick offered. “I’ll just go and bring it out to you.”

 

Sidney smiled at his enthusiasm, but felt a need to remind Mike that he had never done this before. 

 

“I’ve never shot a gun.”

 

“Don’t worry, we won’t be giving you anything too complicated. Feel free to try it.”

 

He was so eager to please Sidney, that he knew he wouldn’t be able to say no. He was going to have to try. He could see himself shooting something important or causing the gun to fail. He glanced back at Kris, who had followed them at a discreet distance, and wondered how he had let Sidney talk him into this. 

 

“Here it is,” Mike said enthusiastically as Rick came back with a rifle. He took it out of his assistant’s hands and held it gently out to Sid. “Feel free, Your Majesty.” 

 

Sidney swallowed and lifted the gun. He was very intimidated by the heft of it. He was confronted with a fear that he would hurt someone. 

 

“It’s not loaded,” one of the two men said, but it felt like it was coming from far away. Sidney’s attention was firmly placed on the weapon in his hands. Even though there was no live ammunition, he was still very careful in handling the gun. He turned to look out across the range and even thought about raising the gun to his eye. He was looking down at the barrel, surprised at the length, when he heard Mike address his husband. Sidney clutched the gun to his chest, the barrel up next to his ear, and spun to see Zhenya towering over him. 

 

“Hi,” said Zhenya, softly, as he gently took the rifle from his grasp. 

 

“It’s not yours,” Sidney told him in a breathless rush. He was only to happy to have the gun out of his hands. “I didn’t want to do anything to your gun.”

 

“I’m not worried about you doing anything to my gun, but I really would rather you didn’t hug any gun that close to your face. I rather like it the way it is.”

 

Sidney watched him check the chamber, nod to himself, and close it all up again. 

 

“I didn’t think they would give you a loaded gun your first time out, but I’m  glad I was right. You really shouldn’t point it toward your ear.” Zhenya tucked a curl behind Sid’s ear as he finished speaking, his thumb brushing softly against his cheek. He searched Sidney’s eyes, his own crinkling in response to the expression he found there. 

 

“Did you want to try to shoot, Sid?”

 

Sidney felt the embarrassment that had been kept at bay with the surprise at seeing Zhenya come out full force in a blush across his face. He shook his head at Zhenya’s concerned glance. 

 

“I’m so embarrassed,” he whispered.  “I just wanted to see what it was like. I have been feeling so   _ useless _ since we had been threatened. I just wanted something I knew I could protect us with. I didn’t know how nervous I would be, but they were so eager to show me, and I didn’t know how to say no…”

 

Zhenya had put the gun down on a stand nearby and had taken Sid in his arms. His rambling was cut of by a gentle kiss, Zhenya’s arms tight around him. The kiss didn’t last long, and Zhenya let him hide his face in his shoulder to recover.

 

“How about this,” said Zhenya, his warm voice rumbling in Sidney’s ear. “Why don’t I show you how this works, and if you think it’s not for you, we can find something that will, together.”

 

He turned Sidney in his arms, and picked the gun back up. Bracketed by Zhenya’s strong and lean frame, Sidney felt his nerves melt away. He admired Zhenya’s sure hands as they guided Sid’s into place on the barrell and adjusted the stock at his shoulder. He was left alone for a terrifying moment, when Zhenya left to get a box of shells and ear protection for them. He heard Zhenya tell Mike that they wouldn’t use the skeet targets right now, but just the paper targets that had already been set up. 

 

He watched as Zhenya stood beside him, as he loaded the gun, and place the ear protection on their heads. He took his position back behind Sid, holding him steady. His voice was confident as he directed Sid, and before he knew it, they were taking aim and firing at the target down the range. 

 

Sid felt the kickback in his shoulder, but he barely noticed as Zhenya helped him roll with it. He managed to nick the last circle of the target. He turned to grin up at Zhenya, happy surprise at managing anything on his first try. Zhenya’s face was all soft smiles and he squeezed Sid tight for a long minute.

 

“Do you think you want to try on your own?”

 

Sidney’s eyes grew round and his smile dropped. “No, thank you,” he said emphatically. Then he turned a little coy, looking up at Zhenya through his lashed. “I think I’d rather watch you.”

 

Zhenya grinned down at him. He gently deposited him on the bench just behind them. Without saying another word, he turned and raised the gun again. He shot several more rounds, all hitting close to the center of the target, veering wide only on the last one. 

 

“I must be nervous with you watching me,” he said as he reloaded the gun. 

 

Sidney smiled. “Somehow I doubt that.”

 

Zhenya glance a long sideways look at Sid. “You might be surprised.”

 

Sidney couldn’t take his eyes from Zhenya. He was so devastatingly sexy to him in that moment, the sly slant to his mouth and his sharp, dark eyes looking straight at him, searing him with his glance. Sidney felt his breath leave him in a rush. After a moment filled with so many things unnamed, he turned back to the open fields.

 

“I think we are making progress, Sid. You didn’t even blush!”

 

Sidney covered his mouth to keep from laughing, even as he felt the heat of his blush steel across his face. 

 

“But if I turn around now,” Zhenya said, his back to Sidney as he took aim again. “I know I’ll be proven wrong!” He shot twice in quick succession. 

 

Zhenya reloaded and shot a few more rounds, before setting aside the gun and removing his ear protection and waving at Mike to come back into the range. Sidney removed his as well, handing his over to Zhenya’s waiting hand, hoping the blush had faded. Zhenya thanked Mike for his assistance before taking Sidney’s hand and walking him back over the grounds.   

 

“So, what are your thoughts?”

 

Sidney shook his head. “It was alright with you here, but I don’t think I could handle it on my own any time soon. “

 

“I’m glad someone called me.”

 

“Is that how you knew I was here?”

 

Zhenya hummed in response, now leading them to their car. Sidney glance up at him, trying to gauge his reaction. 

 

“What did they say to you?”

 

“Oh, they were very professional, but the gist of it was: The prince consort is here and looking quite lost. Someone want to come claim him?”

 

Sidney looked away, feeling very foolish. It hadn’t seemed like it would be so noteworthy. He had just wanted a way to not feel like the damsel in distress, but actually be useful in protecting himself and Zhenya. He sighed. It didn’t like feeling like he was a burden. 

 

“Hey, now, put that face away,” warned Zhenya, as he tucked a finger under Sidney’s chin to look him in the eyes. “We’ll find you something else to help, alright?” His eyes twinkled at Sid as he continued, “Besides, I think I know just the thing!”

 

He wouldn’t say any more to Sidney then, no matter how much he asked on their way back to the palace. But as Zhenya left him to go back to work in his office, Sidney had a lighter heart. It didn’t seem so bad to be facing this down, with Zhenya there with him. 

 

~~

 

The morning for the Fall Fair dawned clear and crisp. It was a warm day, for autumn, and the sky was deep and blue, not a cloud to be seen. The air was so invigorating, that each breath took made the lungs feel cleaner, the body lighter. 

 

Sidney was ready to get started. The morning was scheduled for the children, and all of the kids from the Center were attending, and Sidney wanted to be there for all of it. After lunch were concerts, performances, and the little market for local artisans would be open. In the evening, there was a cooking contest and fireworks. 

 

Sid’s family would be arriving that morning, and would be staying for the weekend, so he was excited to see them and hoped they would have a good time. Sidney spent the last few minutes checking himself out. Although the event was casual, he wanted to look his best. 

 

Just as he was leaving his rooms, he was met by Zhenya. Sid took in his large, warm smile and stepped close, answering with his own. 

 

“Ready?”

 

Sidney nodded, taking his hand. They walked out into the sunshine to meet the day. 

 

~~

 

Zhenya lost sight of Sidney for a while, as he was taken aside by his mother, who had about ten tasks for him.

 

By the time he had found him again, Sidney was elbow deep in fingerpaints. He was listening intently to something a little girl with bright red hair was saying as she swirled orange through the yellow whirls Sidney had just made. His eyes were bright as he replied, just as enthused as his partner. Zhenya’s breath caught in his throat, a longing he hadn’t had in a long time caught behind his breastbone. 

 

He could see it clearly in his mind. Sidney and a little boy with a headful of thick, dark curls, light brown eyes dancing with mischief. With Zhenya’s own nose and Sidney’s ears, the beauty of that picture left him rooted to the spot, staring at Sid in wonder. 

 

Shaking himself out of his daydream when Sidney looked up and smiled at him, Zhenya walked over to them at the easels they had set up on the west lawn, with all of the other games and activities that had been planned for the kids. He bent down to bestow a little kiss on Sid’s lips, lingering a little and he got lost in the feel of them. As he pulled back, he brushed at the loose bit of yellow paint that had found its way to his jaw. He broke his gaze with Sid when he heard smothered giggles coming from Sid’s painting partner. He grinned down at her, wiggling his eyebrows. 

 

“Sid!”

 

The shout of his husband’s name was accompanied by a flash of blonde that tacked Sidney to the ground. He smiled a small indulgent little smile at Sidney’s laugh. He turned to see his in-laws making their way much more calmly towards him. He let his smile grow and shook hands with Troy and leaning in to kiss Trina on the cheek. 

 

When Sid and Taylor joined them, he slid a hand along Sidney’s back to tug him close, enjoying his enjoyment at seeing his family again. 

 

~~

 

“How are you?” Trina asked Sidney, right after lunch. They had just finished a wonderful meal with most of the children from the center. The races and other games were scheduled for another hour, so Sid took the opportunity to show his mother more of the palace grounds. They ended up not getting very far, opting to sit on the first bench they found.

 

“I think I’m okay. Is there a reason why you are asking now?”

 

“There is just something with Zhenya. He seems different towards you.”

 

Sidney nodded. “I have noticed a change in him. It feels right. What do you think it means?”

 

“Well, it's obvious he has started to care, at least.”

 

“What do you mean, ‘at least’?”

 

“Maybe he is starting to love you, Sidney.”

 

Sidney shook his head. “I don’t think so, Mom. I really don’t. I’m not denying he cares, but I don’t think it’s love.”

 

Trina didn’t try to argue but simply asked, “Are you ready for what’s ahead?”

 

Sidney looked at his mother for a long moment. “You mean sex?”

 

“That’s exactly what I mean.”

 

“Not - not yet,” Sidney answered honestly. “But, I feel like it could be soon, even if we aren’t there emotionally.”

 

“Are you happy, Sidney?”

 

“Most of the time. You always told me love is a choice, and there are moments when...but sometimes it’s hard to see. Maybe I am just afraid of finding myself in love alone.” 

 

Sidney fought back tears as his mother embraced him. After several long and warm moments, Trina stepped back, taking Sidney’s face in her hands. 

 

“I hope you know that he’s going to fall for you,” she said seriously, still studying his face. Sidney only looked at her.

 

“Do you know how I know?”

 

“No.”

 

“Any man who’s delighted when his spouse blushes will keep finding ways to make it happen. He will have to get closer and closer to do that.”

 

Sidney’s eyes closed. 

 

“I scared you with that, didn’t I?”

 

“A little. For so long he avoided me and even apologized for it. Now he’s getting into my world, and I’m so terrified.”

 

“Have you tried getting into his?”

 

Sidney looked pained. “With his family, but not a lot with him. I never want to upset him or mention Katya, so I keep my mouth shut and let him talk if he wants.”

 

“And does he?”

 

“Not really. He only asks about me.”

 

“You are going to have to be a little vulnerable and ask, Sid. I don’t know how else you can really show him that you care.”

 

“Just thinking about it makes my heart sink.”

 

“You’ll find a way,” Trinda spoke with confidence. 

 

Sidney hugged her tight. “Thank you,” he said softly, breathing in the scent of her hair. 

 

“Anytime,” Trina said, hugging him back just as tight.

 

~~

 

Soon enough, Sidney found himself surrounded by the kids from the center, where he was herded over to Zhenya at the starting line for some sort of race. 

 

Smiling up at his husband, he looked down as two of the kids nugged them closer, before tying their legs that were closest together with a bandana. 

 

“Did you know anything about this?” Sid asked Zhenya, trying to contain his laughter with mock outrage. Zhenya only grinned boyishly and shook his head. Sid narrowed his eyes. He didn’t believe him for one minute. 

 

“On your marks, get set, GO!”

 

Laughing, Sid and Zhenya stepped forward, managing only a few feet, before getting out of sync and sprawling to the ground, Sidney fell onto Zhenya’s chest, hiding his laughter and red face. He felt Zhenya laughing just as hard, and glanced up to meet his eyes in glee. 

 

This was turning into one of the best days he has had in a long time.  

 

~~

 

“Prince Sidney? I need to use the bathroom.”

 

Sidney glanced down at Mason, the little boy that had kept close to Sid all day. It was late in the afternoon now, and all of the games and crafts were getting wrapped up for dinner. 

 

He smiled at Mason and held out his hand. “No problem, buddy. Let’s go hunt it down.”

 

Checking to make sure all of the other children were safe with their care takers, he led Mason around to the public entrance to the palace, the attendees of the fair thinning around them. Sidney kept Mason talking, asking about his day and his favorite parts. 

 

“...and I really liked the apple pie, I think that was my favorite - “ Mason cut himself off as a tall, burly man stepped out of from behind a alcove of the wall. He managed to time it so that he almost walked right over the both of them.

 

Sidney backed up, drawing Mason behind him as the man leaned in, towering over Sid. 

 

“Can I help you?” asked Sid, trying to see anything familiar in the hard, blank gaze that was locked on his own. 

 

“Had this coming to him, he did. Shouldn’t be wandering around all on your own,” the man said, low and mumbled. He stalked forward again, and Sidney tried to keep him at a distance, but he tangled with Mason, and stumbled, allowing the man to get close and grab Sid’s arm, squeezing down hard. 

 

Before Sid could react any further, he heard Kris shout  and his running footsteps. The man stared hard into Sidney’s eyes. He shook Sid hard before tugging him close. Sid could smell the alcohol on his breath and a crazed look in his eyes.

 

“This was only luck that is keeping you safe now. Tell that imposter of a Prince that this is his last chance to stop.”

 

After delivering that ominous message, the man quickly let go of Sidney and took off running. Just before he turned around  to around the side of the palace and out of sight. 

 

Sidney’s heart was pounding from the anxiety of the situation, but he crouched down to check on Mason. Mason looked up at him with wide eyes. Sidney gathered him close in a hug. He felt Mason’s small arms sneak around his neck to return the embrace, just as Kris reached them.

 

Kris was talking hurriedly into the radio in his hand, all while his eyes were sweeping across Sidney, checking for harm.

 

“I’m fine Kris,” Sid said softly. “Just a little shook up. Can you help us to the bathroom?”

 

Kris searched his face again, before nodding briskly and turning to sweep the area. He motioned Sidney and Mason along, following steadily in their wake. Sidney smiled down at Mason, leading him by hand. 

 

Sidney turned to look back at Kris. “I think he just had too much to drink. It was very startling, don’t get me wrong, but he didn’t hurt us.”

 

He saw that Kris was sceptical about what he was saying, but he dropped it for now. They were all quiet about the encounter, and Sidney knew that Kris would be interrogating him about this later. 

 

Right now, he had a little boy to care for, so he pushed it to the back of his mind. As the day went on, Sidney noticed Kris and his team were more visibly present, not letting Sidney or Zhenya out of their sights at all. 

 

~~~

 

Zhenya and Sidney had opted to return to the palace and had taken over one of the balconies overseeing the palace grounds and the fair spread out all around beneath them. They had spent the day around each other, but not really with each other, so they were taking the time to enjoy each other’s company as a couple. There were quilts and pillows spread around, and warm mulled cider and coffee waiting for them. Out of sight to most of the crowd, they listened to the music from the concert wafting up to them. Zhenya had waited all day to speak with Sidney and just spend some private time with his husband. 

 

“Have you had a good day?” Zhenya whispered. His chest was close to Sidney’s back, one hand stretched out to support him. Sidney turned to him and their faces were suddenly very close. 

 

“Yes. How about you?”

 

“It was a great day. It’s been fun to see the fair through your eyes.”

 

Sidney’s brow lowered. “I’m not sure I understand.”

 

“I have been taking this for granted,” he waved at the grounds still swollen with people. “You haven’t been here or participated in the fair before. Your face reminds me how special it really is.”

 

Said face went a bright red within seconds. Zhenya studied it for several heartbeats before reaching out and cupping Sidney’s jaw tenderly. 

 

“Your skin is always softer than it looks.”

 

He leaned in and took the even softer lips, capturing Sid’s exhalation of surprise with his own, before deepening the kiss. Breaking the kiss, he sat up, pulling Sidney into his lap, his arm braced Sid’s back, cupping the back of his head as he pressed another kiss to Sidney’s mouth. Sidney hands tangled in his jacket, his grip hard. He whimpered low in his throat as Zhenya’s tongue skimmed across his before licking across his lips. 

 

His hips pressed down against Zhenya’s, bringing them tight together, allowing their arousal to spur their heaving breaths. No space between them, they hungrily devoured each other’s mouths, trying to be as close as they could. 

 

A loud crash over head had Sidney startling back out of his lap. The firework burst with orange and red, casting Sid’s features into sharp contrast. But there was no hiding the uncertainty he saw in Sidney’s eyes, even with the arousal still displayed across his body. As was becoming a wonderful practice for Zhenya, he simply tugged Sid until he was tucked up against his side, allowing himself to brush a kiss across his cheek. 

 

Zhenya turned to take in the fireworks display, no talk of what just happened passing between them. But thoughts of his husband in his arms were not far from Zhenya’s thoughts.    
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally here! Thank you all for your patience. With the holidays over, my every-other week schedule is back on track, so expect the next chapter to be up on February 8th.
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to ananon23. She has been the best encouragement and keeper of my sanity!
> 
> Next up: Sid and Zhenya play hockey and have a long talk.


	14. Chapter 14

As Sid expected, Kris and the security team talked with him the following Monday about the encounter he had with the drunk man at the fair. They were trying to hard to make it casual, but Sidney could see that they were looking for answers that he didn’t have. They even asked Sergei Gonchar to help, using his military background to see things that they may have missed. 

 

“Tell me again, what he said?” Kris asked again, his eyes were filled with intensity, and he didn’t blink. 

 

Sidney let out his breath slowly, before calmly reciting what the man had said. “He said, ‘He had it coming.’ And that  I shouldn’t have been alone.”

 

“And you didn’t recognize him from anywhere?”

 

“No, he was a complete stranger. Look, I know why you are concerned, but I keep getting the feeling that there is something more going on here. Did something more happen?” Sidney tried to keep his voice stern, looking around the room. He locked eyes with anyone who would meet them, but other than Sergei, they all found other things to be looking at. Kris looked up from his notes, and Sid saw that he wasn’t going to get any more answers than he already had. 

 

“There is nothing more to worry about, Your Highness, but with the recent threat to you and the prince, we really can’t be too careful,” Kris said, seriously. “There are some things, that even if they seem inconsequential, could be important. That’s why we need you to come to us,with anything that seems out of the ordinary, no matter how small. You can help us keep you safe, but we have to do our jobs.”

 

Sidney nodded and watched as most of the security team left. He was left feeling helpless again, a burden for something he didn’t do. He tried to put it out of his head and get back to work, but the heavy topic of a threat and the stress that he could see built in the lines around Kris’ eyes dogged his thoughts the rest of the day. 

 

~~

 

A few weeks after the fair, things had quieted down a little. Sidney stood alone, pursing his lips as he looked around the hallway of the rink for the best way to the ice. He hadn’t explicitly been invited, but he was there. He had even brought along his old pair of skates. Zhenya had mentioned that morning that Alex had invited him to a pickup game of hockey. He had made a point to mention where he would be, but didn’t ask Sid if he wanted to join him. Sidney had sat on that for a long time after he had left, trying to read if Zhenya had really wanted him to come or not. In the end, he had thrown his caution to the wind and had decided to go.

 

Now, as he finally spotted the door that lead out onto the ice, he was questioning his decision, hoping that he hadn’t been too presumptuous. He had taken his mother’s words to heart, and hoped that this was his chance to get into Zhenya’s world a little bit. 

 

As he pulled open the door and the rink slowly came into view, the cool crisp air filled his lungs and a smile tugged unconsciously at his lips. He came right up the the boards, taking it all in, as he watched a group of about ten or so players at the other end, skating in circles and dribbling a few pucks around. He watched for a while, quite unaware that he had already been spotted. 

 

~~

 

Alex was the first to notice that Sidney had arrived. He snowed Zhenya as he came to a stop beside him. 

 

“And you were worried that things weren’t going well,” he said, jabbing his stick into Zhenya’s ribs. “Well, I think  _ that _ is an indication that things are looking up.”

 

Zhenya followed Alex’s nod to the far end of the ice and smiled. Sidney was standing, smiling shyly, with hands in his jacket pockets, skates slung over a shoulder by their laces. He looked uncertain, even as his smile grew as Zhenya skated toward him. 

 

“Hey!”

 

“Evgeni, if I’m overstepping, I can just watch or go home.” Sidney’s response to his greeting was just panic. He wouldn’t have realized it by just looking at him, but Sid was very uncertain of whether or not he was wanted. He smiled at him in boyish glee. 

 

“I’m glad you are here! We’re one short, so you’ll be able to round out the teams.”

 

Zhenya motioned Sid around to the side where the locker rooms were. “Let’s say hello to Alex, so he stops looking so giddy, and then head to the locker room to get you some equipment.”

 

Sidney ducked his head, face turning red, as Alex greeted him boisterously, using his hockey glove to thoroughly muss Sid’s hair to a fluffy mess. 

 

“Sidney! So glad you are here! Now you can witness first hand how badly I will beat your husband.”

 

“Alex, you are forgetting, I always beat you,” said Zhenya haughtily, his arm coming around Sidney’s shoulder to squeeze him close. “And you forget, Sid is on my team today.”

 

Alex’s squawk of outrage, was drowned out by Zhenya’s laugh, and he turned and walked Sid into the dressing room they were using for the day. He deposited Sid next to the stall he had claimed as his, and bussed a quick kiss to Sid’s hairline. 

 

“I’ll go get you some gear.”

 

~~

 

Sidney was having the most fun since he had come to live at the palace. He had played hockey growing up and all through college, but it was something else to play with Zhenya.

 

Zhenya was a powerhouse on the ice. He took up so much presence. Sidney could tell this group was used to playing with the prince, as no one held back their hits. They definitely didn’t hold back for Sidney, either. Everyone on the ice was playing to win, and there was a lot of skill being thrown around. They were quickly tied, one goal for each team.

 

Zhenya had tapped in an absolutely filthy goal, spin-o-rama and all, to break the tie. Sidney’s smile threatened to break his face as he crashed into his husband for their celebration. Laughing, Zhenya whooped down into Sid’s upturned face, squeezing him in exaltation. They broke apart and lined back up for the face off. 

 

They were up two to one, and Zhenya had just fed a pass to Sidney that was so soft and perfect, it was like the puck was floating on air, instead of the torn up ice. Sid took off, looking at the ice before him, his bright eyes watching for the open lane. Which is why he missed the hit, but he heard it echo in the result of Zhenya and the opposing team’s d-man hitting the boards at an odd angle. 

 

As soon as it happened, it was over. Play was stopped and Sid quickly abandoned the puck and skated over to help Zhenya, who had sat up on the ice, but still looked dazed. Sid slid to his knees beside him, curling an arm around him to support him as he took his helmet off. 

 

“I don’t feel so good,” Zhenya said in a strange voice. Reaching for his right temple, his eyes rolled back in his head and he slumped in Sidney’s arms unconscious. 

 

“Zhenya!” Sid threw off his gloves, cupping his hands around Zhenya’s face as he leaned in close. “Zhenya, can you hear me?”

 

Alex seemed to come of our nowhere and dropped to his knees as well. 

 

“Zhenya!”

 

“Zhenya,” Sid tried again, his fingers shaking as he traced them over Zhenya’s cheekbones. 

 

His lids fluttered for a second and then opened. Sidney huffed out a relieved breath, bending over Zhenya to lay his cheek against his husband’s for a moment and he smoothed down his sweat streaked hair. 

 

“Can you hear me?”

 

“Yeah. Did I get hit?”

 

“I didn’t really see it, you went into the boards with Chris.”

 

Zhenya sat up out of Sidney’s lap, and Sid stayed right with up, his hands still smoothing over any part that he could get to. He looked over at Sid.

 

“I’m okay.”

 

“You were unconscious.”

 

Zhenya’s sheepish grin tweaked at his mouth. “It’s not the first time.”

 

Sid remained serious and leaned close, framing his face with his hands, searching his eyes. 

 

“Do you have a headache?”

 

“Yeah, I think it’s time to call it a day.”

 

Alex helped Zhenya to his skates and he didn’t so much as sway, but Sidney was still shaken up. Both Kris and James had come onto the ice, their eyes glued to the prince. With a combined effort, all of the players helped Zhenya and Sidney leave the ice and head into the locker room. Kris and James stuck close, closer than Sidney had seen them since the night at the theater, which gave him even more concern. 

 

Sidney was silent as they undressed. They skipped a shower, and with Kris, James, and Alex’s help, bundled Zhenya into the town car. Sidney’s eyes stayed on Zhenya’s face, taking in the pinched look around his eyes and the way his hand was constantly going back to his head. 

 

“Zhenya, maybe we need to see a doctor.”

 

Zhenya took Sid’s hand. “I’m really okay, Sid.”

 

Sid just looked away as James climbed in next to Paul in the front and Kris joined them in the back. He shook his head. 

 

“I just need to go home and lay down,” Zhenya tried to reassure him as he slouched in his seat and laid his head back, closing this eyes. When Paul turned to look back at them, Sid took the initiative. 

 

“Go to the hospital.”

 

Paul looked at Zhenya, whose head had come up, eyes wide.

 

“ _ Now,  _ Paul,” Sidney ordered in a tone he seldom ever used. They all blinked at him, including Zhenya. 

 

“Sid -” Zhenya began.

 

“We are going to the hospital,” Sid stated, his eyes straight ahead, as he brought Zhenya’s hand into his lap and held it with both of his. 

 

Paul did as he was told, making Sidney proud with how swiftly he moved. They were pulling into the parking lot outside of the emergency room in a matter minutes. Paul kept things as discreet as possible, pulling around to the small side entrance. Kris and Sidney helped Zhenya from the car, and they headed inside. 

 

~~

 

“You have a mild concussion,” the doctor said about an hour later. “Nothing too major, but you need to take it easy for a few days. No work and quiet with lots of rest. If your vision becomes blurry or you have intense pain, come back in immediately.”

 

“Is it okay if he sleeps?”

 

“Yes. He shouldn’t be alone for a few days, but using common sense and watching his limits to be careful not to overdo things, and he should be just fine.”

 

“Thank you,” Zhenya said respectfully as the doctor took his leave to have a nurse fill their script for pain relievers. He looked over at his husband, thinking he would be pleased, but Sidney only looked even more concerned. 

 

“You heard the man, Sid. I’m fine.”

 

“I heard him say you have to rest. I am wondering how busy your schedule is next week.”

 

“I don’t have any more hockey scheduled.”

 

“You’re not going to have a lot of things scheduled.”

 

Zhenya frowned at Sid, and he frowned right back. 

 

They were quiet on the way home, Zhenya’s hand back in Sidney’s lap, his head tilted back, eyes shut to the passing streets. Zhenya’s only thoughts were of a shower, food, and sleep. He did the first two as soon as he arrived home, and fell into bed after downing his pain medication. He slept deeply until sometime in the middle of the night. 

 

~~

 

Sidney couldn’t sleep. Instead, he paced in front of the doors that separated his room with Zhenya’s. He didn’t know if he was needed or not. Pascal had checked in on Zhenya earlier, and had told Sid he was asleep. He couldn’t settle his mind. He hadn’t talked with Zhenya since they had been home, as he had made it clear that he hadn’t wanted to talk with anyone. Sidney still felt it was absolutely the right thing to do when he took his husband to the hospital, but it seemed that Zhenya was going to sulk about it. 

 

Sidney stopped in front of the doors, closed firmly to ward him off. His hands on his hips, he made up his mind. He knew he would not be able to sleep if he didn’t check on Zhenya, so he shuffled up to the door and knocked. There was no answer. Now alarmed, because his knock wasn’t that soft, he eased the door open and stepped in. 

 

A soft light was shining from the bathroom. Zhenya was fast asleep in his bed, face tilted away from the light. For the first time since they had met, Sidney was sorry that they didn’t have a more intimate relationship. The last thing Zhenya would probably want is Sidney standing over him while he was vulnerable in his sleep, but Sidney couldn’t help himself. If Zhenya needed something, needed  _ him,  _ he wanted to be there for him. As it was, Sidney took so long in thinking all of this through, that he missed Zhenya coming awake and finding Sidney standing in his bedroom. 

 

“You alright, Sid?”

 

“That’s what I’m trying to find out about you.”

 

“I’m okay. Head’s still a little sore.”

 

“Need your pill?”

 

After handing off a dose of his husband’s medication that he found on the side table with a glass of water, Sidney stood, anxious and upset, twisting the hem of his t-shirt, not sure what to do next. 

 

Zhenya motioned to the bed. “Come talk to me,” he said, scooting toward the middle of the bed so Sidney had room to sit. He did, perching hesitantly on the side, a little tense. 

 

“You aren’t normally up so late, Sid.”

 

“No, but I’m worried about you.”

 

“Why?”

 

Sidney hesitated for several seconds and was startled when a dim light came on above the bed. When his eyes adjusted, he found Zhenya watching him closely. He closed in on himself a little, looking down at the soft bed covering. 

 

“I guess I was worried for the same reason you changed my schedule without asking me first.”

 

Zhenya’s eyes filled with understanding as he nodded. For several quiet moments, there was silence between them, Sid’s eyes in his lap and Zhenya’s eyes on Sidney. 

 

“Tell me something, Sid,” Zhenya said, waiting for him to meet his eyes. He looked like he had come to a decision. “Do you think you could be...intimate, with your husband, even if you didn’t love him?”

 

“I’m not sure that’s the issue, Zhenya,” Sidney replied, no hesitation at all. 

 

“What is?”

 

“Could you sleep with me when you’re in love with someone else?”

 

There was a brief and surprised silence. Sidney studied Zhenya, noticing right when he understood what Sidney was saying. The quiet doubt that was holding Sid back all this time, the doubt that he would truly have a place in Zhenya’s heart, because he knew he was just a stand in. Just a replacement for the beloved wife that Zhenya had lost. He still didn’t know how he could stand up to that. 

 

“I’m committed to this marriage, Sid,” Zhenya said finally, his face serious.  “And I do care for you. Very much. I would also like for us to have a family someday.”

 

Sidney swallowed sharply. He wouldn’t deny that he always saw children in his future. “Are you thinking of something right now or in the future?”

 

“If you mean right now, as in this moment, no, not now, but I would like you to think about changing that part of our relationship. I want you to want me, Sid. But I also want you to feel safe and cherished, so this isn’t something I want to pressure you into. But you aren’t going to know what I want, unless I tell you.”

 

“And that’s what you want? Sex?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Sidney nodded, looking more serene than he felt. Zhenya was visibly fading, the conversation must have taken a lot from him. He had slowly melted down onto the bed as they talked. 

 

“I think I’d better get back to sleep,” Zhenya said, voice roughening with his exhaustion. 

 

“Is there anything else I can get you?”

 

“Nope. But it was nice to have you check on me.”

 

Sidney nodded, but made no move to get up. “Goodnight, Zhenya.”

 

“Night, Sid.”

 

Sidney, feeling a little shaken up by the honesty of their conversation, was still not willing to leave Zhenya. He reached up and turned out the light above the bed, smoothing his hair out of his face, and tucking him in a bit more. He watched as Zhenya’s eyes drifted closed and his breaths deepen. 

 

He stayed there the rest of the night, until the first morning light was brightening the room, thinking of all they had said. About what his husband had asked of him. Without having to say it, Zhenya had left what happened next up to Sid. He left Zhenya sleeping, his thoughts not far from his husband for the rest of the day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a day late! Hopefully it lives up to expectations. Thank you all for reading, commenting, and leaving kudos!
> 
> If you feel like chatting, stop by My [Tumblr](http://theminiummark.tumblr.com/).


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very heavy on the porn. If that is not your thing, then feel free to stop after the second page break!

Two weeks later, Zhenya was getting back into the swing of things. He had promised Sid that he wouldn’t get back into work until his headaches were gone. He had even waited a day to be sure. Today he had convinced Sidney he was ready to go back to his previous schedule.

 

It was pure chance that he happened to drop off some papers to a councilman on his father’s cabinet at the golf club that many of the councilmen and their spouses frequented. He had spotted Kris chatting with the club’s security and knew Sidney would be there, so of course he had time to stick around. 

 

He slipped his sunglasses on and headed out on the green to search for his husband. As he did, he was brought back to the conversation they had in the middle of the night. He hoped that Sidney was taking his time and thoughtfully consider what Zhenya wanted. He was not in any hurry, and he was sure that Sidney knows that, but the subject hasn’t come up again. It didn’t take long for him to find his husband. To test his recently attested patience, his first glimpse of him was from behind as he bent to retrieve his ball from the third hole of the course. 

 

Sidney was with two other people, a man and a woman, whom Zhenya recognized as spouses of Councilmembers. All three were pulling wheeled golf carts. Zhenya strode in their direction, his long legs quickly eating up the green. He knew the exact moment Sidney spotted him. He stopped in surprise, his mouth and eyebrows pinching in consternation. 

 

“Hello,” Zhenya said exuberantly. “Mind if I caddie?”

 

Zhenya watched with a subtle pleasure as Sidney’s eyes grew huge and his face pinked from his attention. 

 

“You don’t really need to,” he said, voice quiet as he tried to keep calm. “Really.”

 

“It’s my pleasure,” Zhenya grinned and reached for Sidney’s cart. He turned to greet the other members of Sidney’s party, and found them smiling and giving each other knowing looks. Zhenya knew them all through his work, so they were quickly immersed in small talk. They were joined by the fourth in the party, another woman who also knew Zhenya, and she gave him a sly wink as they headed down the fairway. Sidney hung back a bit, giving Zhenya a pointed look. 

 

“Just decided to caddie today, huh?”

 

Zhenya’s grin only grew larger. “Isn’t it a perfect day for it? That is what I thought to myself. What a perfect day to caddie for my husband.”

 

Sidney rolled his eyes, but there was a smile tugging at his lips. Zhenya motioned him ahead and enjoyed the view as they made their way to the next green. 

 

~~

 

“Enjoy it, Sidney,” said Devin as they teed up on the fourteenth hole. “Joleen never wants to golf.”

 

“I really don’t know what came over him.”

 

“He seems to be enjoying himself, though.”

 

Sidney ducked his head a bit to hide his smile. It was very clear that Zhenya was enjoying himself. With his lanky legs, he had no trouble eating up the turf, and despite his height, he would size up the fairway very thoughtfully with a serious gaze. Then earnestly hand Sidney a club, with all the reverence of handing over his ceremonial sword. And when Sidney had a particularly good run, his celebrations were as enthusiastic as everything else, just barely keeping it chaste for their company. 

 

The other members of their party looked on with clear enjoyment as Zhenya’s eyes followed Sidney’s every move. They played through the full eighteen holes, and Sidney was impressed to see that Zhenya’s enthusiasm hadn’t lagged at all during their time together. He was brought back to the conversation that they had about getting closer to one another, and all he could think was that Zhenya was trying to make up for lost time. 

 

As Sidney and Zhenya said goodbye to the others, they had a moment alone. Zhenya was headed off to another meeting, and Sidney was headed back to the palace. 

 

“Thanks, Zhenya,” he said, boldly slipping his hand into Zhenya’s. He received another boyish smile. “I am really glad you decided to crash the course with me.”

 

“You are welcome. You have a very good swing.”

 

Sidney smiled back at him, not really certain if he meant anything else by that. 

 

“I am more than happy to be your caddie, any day. Maybe we could do it again sometime?”

 

Sidney hadn’t seen him look so hopeful before. It made his heart ache in his chest. As they stopped by Sid’s car, he stepped up to Zhenya, slid his hands around to cradle his head down to his and gave him a lingering kiss. 

 

“It’s a date,” he said softly, still close enough to breathe each other’s air. He smiled up at Zhenya meeting his eyes once, before taking another kiss. 

 

They parted ways then, but on the drive home, Sidney’s mind was quite preoccupied. Deep in his heart, he knew it was time.   

 

~~

 

Zhenya was sitting up in bed, reading a little to quiet his mind from the day, when a knock sounded at his door. He looked up, intent on the door. Growing absolutely still, he held his breath, thinking that he might have imagined it. Before he could do anything else, another knock came. 

 

“Come in,” he called, hoping his voice sounded less shaky than he felt. He watched in amazement as the door between his and Sidney’s room opened. His room was softly illuminated by the light above his bed, but is shined in Sid’s eyes as he entered, shut the door behind him, and leaned against it. Zhenya stared at him for a minute, still trying to decide if this is something real, or if he had fallen asleep and was dreaming it again. He got off the bed and went to stand before his husband. 

 

“Hi,” breathed Sidney, his voice barely vocal. He seemed nervous, so Zhenya reached out and caught his hands. 

 

“Hi,” he said back, his smile soft. He took in Sidney’s appearance. He was dressed in a plain grey t-shirt and loose black shorts. His hair was fluffy without product, looking like he had just washed it and let it dry. He looked soft and comfortable. It was perfectly Sidney. Zhenya thought he looked adorable. 

 

“Zhenya? I have a confession.”

 

Zhenya hummed and looked down at his husband, smile growing as he took a deep breath. 

 

“I’m really nervous. I haven’t done this in a long time,” his voice was even softer now, and he licked his lips. “I really want this to be good, thouogh.”

 

Zhenya’s heart effectively grew and broke at the same time. Sidney was so earnest, putting himself in Zhenya’s care. Zhenya only wanted to give him the world. He hadn’t wanted to assume anything with Sid’s appearance, but now, he had no illusions. He reached for Sid, drawing him into his arms. Sidney sighed, melting into him. 

 

Holding Sidney was one of the sweetest things he had known in such a long time. As he bent down to capture Sid’s lips in deep pulling kisses, it was sweeter still. 

 

His hands moved to Sid waist, where they rucked up his shirt, gliding over soft skin. He felt the play of Sid’s muscles as he copied Zhenya’s move and slowly drew his hands up under Zhenya’s shirt, dragging his fingers up to pull Zhenya even closer. 

 

Zhenya pulled back long enough to drag Sid’s shirt over his head, letting it fall to the ground as he leaned down to drag his mouth along Sid’s collar bone. Sid’s breath hitched, and his hands tensed as if looking for a place along Zhenya’s skin to hold on to. 

 

Zhenya slowly herded Sidney back to towards the bed, not letting up in his exploration of Sid’s neck and shoulders. Sidney’s head tipped back, giving him more access to skin, the taste he was drinking in. He left long, simmering, open mouthed kisses along Sid’s jaw, before he let go of Sid and reached over his head for the collar of his t-shirt, wiping it hurriedly over his head. 

 

He cradled Sidney’s face in his hands, smoothing his thumbs along his cheekbones. He adored the way that Sid’s eyes fluttered shut and his hands came up to grip Zhenya’s wrists tight. He loved the way that Sidney’s strength in body was a match for his, and the intensity that was brewing between them was only heightened as their eyes met again. 

 

Zhenya guided Sidney back to the bed, quickly wiping the blankets and sheets to the end. He laid Sidney out, dark hair and eyes contrasting against the crisp white sheets. Ridding himself of his pajama bottoms and underwear, he crawled over Sidney, straddling his legs. He smoothed his hands down Sidney’s chest and watched as his breath hitched as he reached the waistband to Sidney’s shorts. 

 

Sidney’s eyes locked on his as he drew Sid’s remaining clothing off of his body, baring him to Zhenya’s eyes, hands, and tongue. His gaze left Sid’s and he hungrily took in his husband’s body. The glimpses and hints he has had over the last few months were not enough to prepare him. Sidney’s shy gaze didn’t stay in one place on Zhenya’s body either, but his flush melting down from his face to his chest and his growing erection let him know that he was appreciative of the view. He was back over Sidney in an instant pressing him into the mattress and claiming his mouth again. 

 

Time hazed over, soft exhalations and bitten off moans filled the air. Zhenya took his time. He wanted show Sidney through his hands and his mouth how much he cared for him. How much he wanted this night to be the start of something beautiful for their relationship. He kissed down Sidney’s chest, firming his kisses were he found ticklish spots, teasing his tongue at his nipples and belly button. Before long, he turned his attention to Sidney’s dick, and as he took him firmly in hand, he looked up at Sid. 

 

Sidney was breathtaking. His eyes dark and glittering, face flushed and lips plump from where he had been biting at them. Now his mouth hung open, gasping at air as he stared down at Zhenya. 

 

“Are you just going to look at me all night?”

 

Zhenya grinned sharply at him, catching the glint of a smirk on Sid’s lips, and licked a long, wet stripe up to the tip of Sidney’s cock, teasing at the slit. Sidney’s choked off moan brought enough satisfaction to Zhenya to continue. Soon he had a perfect rhythm, Sidney’s reactions taking him higher and leaving him rubbing his throbbing erection against the sheets. 

 

He decided it was time to take it up a notch. Sliding his hands up the back of Sidney’s thighs, he griped Sid behind the knees and pushed them back towards his chest, spreading him open and giving him the best view so far.

 

“Alright?”

 

Sidney’s enthusiastic nod and clenching of fists returned his growled question,and between one breath and the next, Zhenya leaned down and flattened his tongue against Sidney’s hole. He listened as Sidney’s moans took on new life, reaching a volume they hadn’t before. He drew back, teasing the tip of his tongue around the rim, watching it contract at the sensation. Letting Sidney’s leg fall on either side of him, he leaned toward the side table and came back to his husband with lube in hand. 

 

Sidney looked completely taken apart. His eyes were closed, his chest heaved with his breath. Zhenya leaned down, kissing each eyelid, smoothed his nose down along Sidney’s, before kissing him once, twice, before he gripped Sid around his shoulder blades, hauling him up and into his lap. 

 

Folding his legs crosswise, he settled Sid against him, legs spread wide, arms hugged around his shoulders. Sidney was looking at him now, his face soft and somber. He took the tube of lube from Zhenya, and grasping Zhenya’s hand in his, he kissed his palm once before he squeezed a generous amount over Zhenya’s fingers. Then he guided Zhenya’s hand around to his entrance, letting go of his hand to cup his own around Zhenya’s cheeks. 

 

“I’m ready,” he said, breathless and blushing deeper as he did, leaning in to lick into Zhenya’s mouth. 

 

Zhenya wasted no time, spreading the lube around Sidney’s hole, just barely dipping in before retreating, dragging his hand up Sidney’s back to cup the back of his head. Then, as he dragged his tongue along Sidney’s, pulled into his mouth to suck at it, he slipped one long, thick finger into Sid. He caught the wet gasp and he groaned at the feel of Sidney tightening around him. 

 

Things moved quickly now that he had one finger reaching into Sidney, connecting them as they moved against each other. Soon, they were up to three fingers and Sidney was pushing back into his hand, trying to get him to hit on his prostate. 

 

Zhenya reluctantly withdrew, adding more lube to the mess that was his hand, and stroking his erection a few, quick strokes before smearing his hand in the sheets and grasping Sidney by his ample ass, and pulling him close to hover over the tip of his cock. He pulled back, trying to give them some space, clearing his head a bit. 

 

“Condoms, Sid?”

 

Sidney shook his head, his fingers stroking through the hair at Zhenya’s neck. “I haven’t been with anyone in a long time. I’m clean. I just want to feel you.”

 

Zhenya shuddered at the need he heard in Sid’s voice. Pulling him as close as he could get him, he put his face in Sidney’s neck and breathed deep. After a moment to regain his composure, he looked back into Sidney’s eyes. His gaze was hazy with pleasure, but he met Zhenya’s gaze confidently. 

 

“Okay. Okay,” he said, voice still a little shaky with the enormous trust Sidney was placing in him. “I haven’t been with anyone since Katya, so I’m all yours.”

 

Sidney’s face did something complicated, before he smiled a little sadly. He leaned in and kissed Zhenya, cradling his face again, achingly tender. He shifted against Zhenya, rolling his hips to drag his erection along Zhenya’s stomach. Zhenya took his queue, grasping his dick by the base, directing it slide along Sid’s hole, before slowly sinking into his heat. He grasped Sidney’s thighs firmly in both hands, holding him steady as Sidney set the pace.

 

As Sidney slowly accepted him into his body, Zhenya could not help the well of feelings he had for this man. He was hesitant to call it love, but he was in awe of Sidney. It heightened the pleasure as he kissed Sidney again, trying to convey without word how much their physical connection meant to him. 

 

Sidney kissed back desperately, letting a long loan be muffled by Zhenya’s lips as he settled in the cradle of Zhenya’s hips, all the way full of him. They stayed a moment, connected as close as two people could be physically, before Sid dragged himself up and Zhenya met him on the way back down. 

 

Things heated up quickly, Zhenya’s thrusts picking up force when Sidney’s head fell back, moans and gasps filling the air, his throat open to Zhenya’s mouth. Sindey’s fingers tightened on his shoulders as he sucked on the hollow of Sidney’s throat. Sidney, not faltering in their rhythm, slid his hand down his chest, before grasping his dick and allowing his thrusts to push him into his fist. Zhenya’s hands tightened on Sid’s thighs and he planted his feet on the mattress. He leaned back and thrust up harder.

 

“Zhen - Zhenya! I’m - “ 

 

Sidney came with a shout, hips faltering as his cock pulsed and his body tightened. He fell toward Zhenya, catching himself on his elbows. Zhenya’s dick was still snug within Sidney, but he brought his hands up to bring Sidney to his chest and kiss him through the aftershocks of his orgasm. He rubbed his hands up and down Sid’s back in long strokes, unable to stay away from sweeping from the top of his thighs to his shoulders. 

 

Sidney let out a sigh and looked at Zhenya with a sated smile.

 

“Your turn.”

 

Smiling back, Zhenya turned them swiftly over, drawing Sid’s knees over his shoulders before positioning his cock at Sidney’s entrance again. He kissed Sidney again, open mouthed and wet, as he thrust inside. He wasted no time, quickly crashing over into his orgasm. He was pressed as close to Sidney as he could get, arms wrapped around his back, cradling his head as he shuddered through his aftershocks. 

 

Sidney’s hands were holding him just as tight. He left little kisses on whatever part of skin he could reach, along Zhenya’s shoulder, his cheek, his brow. Zhenya rolled to his back again, feeling himself slip from Sidney. Not wanted to be a port, Zhenya guided Sidney to lay his head on his chest. He ran his fingers through Sidney’s hair for long moments, savoring having Sid there in his arms, in his bed. 

 

They dropped off to sleep like that, comforted by their closeness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is, Zhenya and Sidney's first time! 
> 
> Look for the next update on March 18th!
> 
> As always, I can be found blogging about these boys, writing, and other odds and ends on my [Tumblr](http://theminiummark.tumblr.com/)


	16. Chapter 16

Pascal walked into the kitchen, spring in his step, causing the assembled staff there for an impromptu meeting to all turn and stare at him.

 

“What did you do?” asked his wife, hands on her hips. “You look like you did after you pulled that prank on Kris last summer.”

 

His grin just grew bigger in reminiscence for a prank well done, even if Kris had gotten him back in a way he hasn’t returned yet. His wife’s look quickly brought him back to the real reason he was so chipper.

 

“ _I_ didn’t do anything,” he said, flourishing a scrap of paper at his wife. “But our fair prince certainly did something last night.”

 

“‘Duper, Prince Sidney is in my room this morning. Please let him sleep in,’” read his wife, her own smile taking over her face. The cheer that filled the kitchen was one for the year, as the whole staff celebrated the new change in the royal couple’s relationship.

 

~~

 

Sidney woke in a puddle of sunlight. He stretched and rolled to his back, looking to the other side of the bed. Instead of his husband, he found an empty bed and a folded up note on Zhenya’s pillow. Rolling further to face the empty spot of Zhenya’s absence, he opened up the note.

 

_Sid,_

 

_It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, leaving you this morning. I had been meaning to tell you that I would be away for a few days, but it had escaped me the last few days._

_I will be making tours with the labor committee, talking about budgets and labor improvements, but remembering how you felt, the sweetness of your skin, it is going to make it extremely difficult to keep my mind where it should._

_Even now, I long to be back in bed with you. Please call me or text me as you desire, as this weekend, when I will return to you, seems so very far away._

 

_Zhenya_

 

Sidney read the note again and again. While his heart felt full by the words left by his husband, he was still caught up in the thought that everything was changing before them. He made a quick check at his schedule, before letting Pascal know he was headed out to see his sister.

 

~~

 

“What is _this_?” Sidney asked, distrustfully looking at the blue gift bag his sister had plopped down on the table in front of him. They were at the little cafe, just around the corner from the university.

 

“Something Mom and I picked out after we saw you last,” she replied, a twinkle in her eye as she watched Sidney with interest.

 

He slowly began removing the tissue paper from the bag, before drawing out pairs of silky boxers and briefs, all in different colors and styles. Taylor erupted in giggles as Sid’s face turned scarlet and he shoved them back into the bag.

 

“Taylor!”

 

“Do you think Zhenya would like them?”

 

Sidney scowled at her.

 

“He didn’t seem to mind my basketball shorts and t-shirt, so no, I don’t think he’ll mind,” he muttered to the table top.

 

Taylor was laughing out loud now, her whole body filled with mirth.

 

“Of course he didn’t,” she said, grinning wide now. “If it was you, Sid, you could wear anything and he would still find you attractive. Have you seen the way he looks at you?”

 

Sid keeps his eyes on the table. He shrugged a little, blush still on his face.

 

“Sid, you all right?”

 

The mirth had faded from Taylor’s face, and she sounded concerned as she reached over and laid her hands over Sidney’s.

 

Sidney looked up at her. He knew she was only asking because of what he had shared in the past, but what came out of Sidney’s mouth was a surprise.

 

“I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this stuff.”

 

“Oh, Sid,” she said softly. “I know you. You are too loyal and stubborn by half. I know things weren’t the best with Zhenya, but they are getting better?”

 

Sidney nodded, smiling at her.

 

“Yeah, they are,” he said, feeling a little shy. “I really care for him, you know?”

 

“I know, Sid,” answered Taylor. She bit her lip for a minute, looking indecisive. “Just, if you ever do need someone, and I hope you and Zhenya will get there, but I’m here, no matter what.”

 

Sidney couldn’t stay in his seat after that, he got up and walked around the table, pulled her into a hug, and kissed her on her brow.

 

“I am so glad I have you for a sister,” he said, smiling down at her. After he returned to his seat, the spent the rest of their meal talking about her classes. Sidney parted with Taylor, feeling lighter than he did that morning.

 

He spent the drive home sorting out his feelings. He admitted he was a little relieved when Zhenya had not been there this morning, as the space gave him time to think on his own. Thinking of their time together only made his heart speed and a smile spread over his face. He knew he was growing in his care for his husband, but he was too nervous to call it love, not knowing the prince’s heart.

 

Knowing he needed to share his thoughts, he took out his phone and composed a text.

 

~~

 

Zhenya had worked hard that week, trying to move his time away along. The goal of getting back to Sidney sooner helped him remain on task. He did well, until he found himself alone in his room at the end of the day. He felt the time from that moment and the next time he could see Sidney, stretch out in front of him.

 

He had just emerged from a shower, when his phone alerted him to a text. When he opened it up, more texts quickly followed.

 

Sid: I hope things are going well, and this isn’t going to come at a bad time or distract you

Sid: I feel like I can organize my thoughts better this way, and I really need you to know

Sid: I really am ready for this change between us and like you mentioned, I am committed to you and our marriage. Having a family is something that I have wanted from when I was small.

Sid: but there’s something you have to know.

Sid: I won’t tell you I love you until I am absolutely sure that I mean it.

Sid: all I can ask is that you do the same for me.

 

Zhenya stared down at the words on his phone. He was elated to hear that Sidney was ready to continue to move in the same direction as he with their relationship, and he appreciated Sid’s request - and promise - to be genuine with his feelings.

 

Zhenya replied, hoping to start a conversation.

 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts: Zhenya

I will make sure that I am absolutely sure of my feelings before I say the words: Zhenya

That is very reasonable and understandable: Zhenya

If you want to talk about it more, you can always call me?: Zhenya

 

No call came, and Zhenya was left with his own thoughts. He turned the relationship he had with Sidney over in his mind. He thought about how different Sidney was from Katya. He, in all reality, has only known both of them for a small time, and yet they have impacted him in a major way.

 

Katya and her memory were fading. It no longer hurt in the same way, not as often, and definitely not as lasting. He still missed her dearly, still loved her. Examining his feelings for Sidney, he couldn’t say what he felt for him. He cared for him, so very, very much. He wanted to take care of him, see him happy and blessed. But, like Sidney had asked, he could not say “I love you” and feel confident that he meant it.

 

Zhenya was filled again with tenderness for his husband and his wise words. He was so right to bring it out into the open, and Zhenya was confident, with enough time, they would make it.

 

~~

 

When Sidney had awakened and found himself alone in Zhenya’s room, he had gone back to his room through their adjoining door, innocently leaving it wide open. Because Zhenya was not at home, the doors simply stayed that way. This was how he found them when he returned home very early Saturday morning. In fact, it was the first thing he noticed.

 

Only taking the time to set aside his luggage, Zhenya used his phone to light his way and went through the door to Sidney’s room. He found Sidney asleep in bed. Careful to keep the light from his face, he went to the bed and stood over him, watching him breathe for a moment. Sidney was in the middle of the bed, and he was able to carefully sit on the edge. Sidney didn’t move, sleep had a deep hold on him.

 

Zhenya didn’t mind to find his husband deeply asleep. He was quite happy just to stare at his face and watch how he curled around his pillow in sleep. He didn’t know how long he sat there watching his husband until his own bed called to him, but he took Sidney’s cue and left the door open.

 

~~

 

The next morning, Sidney came in from the bathroom, naked except for his towel, his mind already on the day. He knew that Zhenya was due back anytime, and he didn’t know if he should go out or cancel his appointments. He moved to pick up his phone from the bedside table and check his calendar. Surprisingly, it was very empty.

 

Sidney was turning from the table when he saw him. Leaning one shoulder against the doorjamb between their rooms, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans, the prince stood and watched him.

 

“Zhenya!” Sidney said in surprise as he looked down at his half naked state.

 

Zhenya pushed away from the doorway. In the time it took for him to walk to Sidney and kiss him, his face was flaming red from his blush.

 

“You’re blushing,” Zhenya said after he released Sidney’s lips.

 

Sidney looked away, shrugging. He tried to project a casual air. “I wasn’t expecting you there.”

 

He could feel Zhenya searching his face and physically step back to give him some space. Sidney wished he knew the words to tell Zhenya that he was happy to see him, but he didn’t know what to do when he was feeling vulnerable.

 

“You haven’t redecorated yet.”

 

Sidney looked back at him to see him taking in the room.

 

“Net yet. I can’t seem to find the time to even really think about it.”

 

“Do you have any ideas?”

 

“I don’t know,” Sidney said, glancing around the room as well, glad that the subject had changed.

 

“We could do both our suites at the same time. Carry the theme through, if you think that sounds good.”

 

Sidney looked up at him, but was completely at a loss of what to say. He suddenly was reminded of the way both Katya and the queen had shared the same room with their husbands. Zhenya didn’t sound as though he was too thrilled about such a plan, the way he looked disinterested around the room. Sidney tried to be logical about it, but he couldn’t quite ignore the painful feeling of rejection.

 

“Sidney, what does the look on you face mean?”

 

“What look?” He asked, trying to evade the question. He didn’t want to hurt about it more that he already did, and he certainly didn’t want Zhenya to know.

 

“That look of confusion or hurt. Sidney, I - “

 

He was cut off by his cell phone ringing. Sidney perked up with relief.

 

“Hello, Duper. Yes. Is it urgent? Alright, in that case, I will have to call you back. Thank you.” Zhenya ended the call, all the while his eyes on Sidney’s face. He sat on the edge of the bed, grasped Sidney gently at the waist, and pulled him to stand slightly in between his legs.

 

“I did a lot of thinking while I was gone, a lot of it prompted by you. One thing that has become absolutely clear: we have to keep communicating, even if it’s awkward or embarrassing, we have to, or we will fail.”

 

Sidney nodded, captured by Zhenya’s seriousness. He hesitated still, and saw Zhenya’s frustration start to show on his face, before he let it all start to spill out of him.

 

“I have to tell you something, Zhenya,” Sid started, almost desperately. “I - I’m terrified to even mention Katya to you. Of even thinking her name, let alone speaking it. I’m so afraid I will upset you or that you’ll tell me it’s none of my business. I mean, it should be my business, I’m your spouse, but it doesn’t feel like that.”

 

Zhenya rubbed his hands up and down Sidney’s sides. The blush had faded, and now he just felt shaky and strained. Sidney closed his eyes at the pain he found on Zhenya’s face. This is why he hadn’t said anything in the first place.

 

“Sid, I am hurt to hear you sound so sad. It’s true, sometimes speaking about Katya may hurt,” Zhenya began, his voice soft and low, rumbling out of his chest. “But, you are right, it is part of our relationship. How about this? Why don’t you check in with me if you have a question about Katya. Ask me if it is a good time to ask. There may be times that won’t be good, but I think if we can commit to this, _asking_ , it will save us some pain and uncertainty.”

 

“I can do that,” Sidney told him, thinking he would say anything not to hurt him or have Zhenya mad at him.

 

Zhenya smiled up at him. “Good. What did I say that made you think of Katya?”

 

Sidney fiddled with the edge of his towel, wishing that they could just drop it, feeling foolish now that it was out in the open. “It was just the way you mentioned the rooms. I don’t know if I can explain more than that.”

 

Zhenya nodded, catching his eyes, and looking at him for a long moment.

 

“Sidney, are you ready to move into my room with me?”

 

Sidney went instantly red. He quickly shook his head no.

 

“Well, then I think,” Zhenya said, smile returned. “We could just start with leaving the doors open, and see how that goes.”

 

Relief washed over Sidney in small waves. He nodded, already thinking that this didn’t seem like such a big mountain to climb, now that he was here on the other side. He knew that there would be more, and he hated feeling so uncertain and embarrassed in front of his husband. He felt like he would just start to feel comfortable, before something would change.

 

“Sidney, can I hold you?” Zhenya suddenly asked. He looked down at his husband, and felt what he saw there resonate within him: need.

 

“Only if I can hold you back.”

 

Zhenya pulled him down into his lap, his arms going around Zhenya’s neck. His eyes slid shut, hoping they would soon find their equilibrium in their relationship.

 

~~  


Kris let out a long breath and closed out of the voice message he had been listening to. He removed the headphones and placed them carefully on the desk in front of him, before closing his his eyes and pinching his nose.

 

After a moment of silence, he looked over at James and Jim, the head of security for the palace.

 

“This is the fourth message in the last two weeks that has been alluding to a threat to the prince,” he began. He stood and started to pace, arms crossed firmly across his chest. “Maybe it’s time to start planning a family...vacation. Just until things settle down.”

 

Jim shook his head. “I know what you are thinking, but it would just be more of a nightmare trying to cover them as we move. Right now, they are safest here. We will be taking more precautions. I want the prince’s security tripled until this bill is passed, and extra eyes on the prince consort and the king and queen. For now, we will see if our seeming inaction flushes them out.”

 

Kris wasn’t happy, but truly he wouldn’t be until the prince’s labor law had been passed. He hated the waiting game. He only hoped that this was going to be as cut and dry as the chief made it sound.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We only have four more chapters and maybe an epilogue to go! Expect the next chapter up by March 25. 
> 
> Keep an eye on the tags, as more will be added in the next few updates. 
> 
> As always, feel free to stop by My [Tumblr](http://theminiummark.tumblr.com/) for updates!


	17. Chapter 17

Sidney was always a bit nervous when he walked into the children’s center, but he always was there, ready to help and spend time with the children. He had gotten to know many as he spent more and more of his days there. His change in procedures had made it difficult to visit at times unless it was in an official capacity, but knowing that he could brighten the day of some of the kids spurred him on. 

 

Mrs. Howe stood out the most in her manners toward Sidney. While the staff seemed to have a little pushback in the beginning, the overall change in the demeanor of the children seemed to help smooth the changes along. Mrs. Howe, however, only ever avoided Sidney if she could help it, and treated him cooly when she could not. 

 

Sidney had some papers to return to one of the administrators, and finishing that task, he headed out toward the recreation hall to visit for a few hours. As Sidney entered, he was soon converged on by four children around three years old and dragged over to where they were building “The Tallest Tower in the World!”

 

He had been playing with them for about twenty minutes when Mrs. Howe approached him.

 

“When you have a moment, Prince Sidney, may I speak with you privately?”

 

“Absolutely. Just give me a moment to get untangled.”

 

Sidney said a slow goodbye to the preschoolers and dished out at least two hugs a piece to each before making his way to the Director’s office. 

 

“Please,” said Mrs. Howe, motioning to the chairs before her desk. “Have a seat.”

 

Sidney sat, thinking he had never seen her so subdued. 

 

“Has anyone informed you that I’m retiring?”

 

“No, Mrs. Howe. I hadn’t heard.”

 

The older woman nodded, her expression unreadable. “My husband suggested it, and I think it’s time.”

 

“We’ll miss you and the hard work you do,” Sidney said sincerely. 

 

Again, Sidney could not read the other woman’s expression, but Mrs. Howe surprised him. 

 

“I did want to tell you one thing before I go, and I wasn’t sure when you would be back in.” Mrs. Howe cleared her throat before continuing. “I have had several comments from the children about the food lately - positive comments. I thought you would like to know.”

 

“Thank you for sharing with me.”

 

“I would also like to thank you on behalf of this center and all of it’s children, for helping and seeing them - when we had not.”

 

“No, please. It was my pleasure.”

 

Mrs. Howe gave a ghost of one of her old smiles - the ones Sidney had seen before he had made waves - and began stacking papers on her desk. Sidney took his cue, leaving the office and going to speak to one of the staff about a retirement party. When he got his information, Sidney opted to head back to the palace. He was suddenly feeling very tired. He decided to rest now, as he had a feeling he would be spending a lot of his time at the center in the near future. 

 

~~

 

Zhenya had not seen his husband all day. He had been out of the palace when Sidney had been home and vise versa. They hadn’t even had dinner together. But now he was home and delighted to see a light still on in his room. He started to walk in, but didn’t enter when he saw Sidney was sitting quite still by the window. His profile told him that Sidney was still awake, but he looked deep in thought. Zhenya tapped on the door frame and Sidney turned toward him. 

 

“Hi, Zhenya,” he said softly.

 

Zhenya smiled at him and felt welcome to join him. There was enough room on the small couch for him to snuggle up beside Sidney and sigh a little at finally being home.

 

“How was your day?”

 

“It was fine,” Zhenya replied, thinking all the while that he had only been distracted all day because he was thinking of where Sidney was and what he was doing all day. “Glad to be home with you. How was yours?”

 

Sidney smiled at him, his eyes lightening as he looked at Zhenya. 

 

“It was busy, but the evening has been nice and quiet,” he said, leaning into Zhenya. “Just what I needed.”

 

Zhenya smiled and nuzzled at Sidney’s neck. “Ready to head to bed?”

 

Sidney nodded, but he pulled away a little, his gaze down by his knees. “Is it okay if I sleep in my own bed tonight, Zhenya?”

 

“Yeah,” said Zhenya, without hesitation, confusion clouding his thoughts. “That’s fine. Are you feeling alright?”

 

Sidney nodded, still looking down at his lap. “I think I just want some space tonight.”

 

Zhenya nodded, the bent to kiss Sid’s forehead. After wishing him a goodnight, Zhenya watched him go through to his rooms, racking his brain to figure out whether he had done something wrong. Except for the first few nights when he had been away, they had been sharing Zhenya’s bed for the past several weeks. There was something off, but Zhenya was not clear on what it was. But, he wanted to honor his husband and respect his space. He just couldn’t help feeling like he had misstepped somewhere. 

 

Recalling their resolve to speak plainly, he decided to talk with his husband. He changed for bed and performed his nightly bathroom routine, gathering his thoughts. Zhenya walked to the open doors between their rooms, seeing Sid curled up in bed, looking puzzled and a little fuzzy, as though he had already made his way to sleep. 

 

“Sid, are you sure that you are alright? “ Zhenya asked cautiously. “Is there something - anything I did?”

 

Sidney was looking more alarmed as he took in Zhenya. He started shaking his head at Zhenya’s last question, answering him practically before all of the words were out of his mouth. 

 

“No, Zhenya, no. I just have been so tired. I just thought that - well, since we wouldn’t be - “ Sid broke of with a blush. “Well, I wasn’t in the mood for anything, so I thought some space would be good?”

 

Zhenya couldn’t help the relief that filled him when he heard that it wasn’t something he did, before he really listened to what Sidney was saying, and his heart hurt again.   
  


“Sid, we really, really don’t have to have sex if you aren’t feeling up to it. Having you in bed with me every night for that is very nice, but your presence is what I long for most,” Zhenya said firmly. “Don’t ever feel like you can’t be honest about that, okay? Your needs are important, too.”

 

To Zhenya’s horror, Sindey’s eyes looked full of tears, and he left out a long shaky breath. Zhenya hurried over to the bed, concerned, cuddling in close. 

 

“Sid?”

 

Sidney huffed out a breathy laugh that sounded rueful this close. 

 

“Sorry, Zhenya. I didn’t know I needed to hear that. Thank you,” he said, meeting his eyes, smiling a little. 

 

Zhenya returned his smile. 

 

“If you still need some space, that’s okay,” Zhenya started, a little hesitant. “But if you want, we can sleep in here tonight.”

 

Sidney’s smile grew and he leaned into Zhenya. 

 

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

 

“I’ll go get my pillow.”

 

Sidney was asleep before Zhenya got back to the bed, but he couldn’t help but feel a little victorious. He felt that could have gone a lot worse. 

 

~~

 

Sidney found himself feeling more and more tired as the weeks turned colder and winter drew nearer. He was spending long days at the Children’s Center, helping to encourage and to get to know the new director. He seemed competent enough, but Sid really cared for these kids. He didn’t want anything to be left to chance when it came to them.

 

In the week leading up to Christmas, Sidney started to feel like he was catching something. He was achy, with a low level nausea that stuck with him all day. With the holidays approaching, he put it out of his mind. There was just too much to do. 

 

With a few free hours to himself, Sidney moved around their rooms. He was trying to get a feel for what he would like to see changed, besides the color. He liked Zhenya’s suggestion of redoing both suites to match, and he went into Zhenya’s room to contemplate things that he did like. He made mental notes so he could share with his sister when he next spoke with Taylor. 

 

Finding a sweater and shirts Zhenya had left on a chair, Sidney scooped them up and went into Zhenya’s closet to put them away. He knew he didn’t have to, and a member of the staff would do it for them, it still didn’t feel right to leave them there once he noticed. 

 

Zhenya’s closet was just as large as his own, but much more full. Sidney always thought Zhenya looked nice, but he was still surprised to see how much he owned. Sidney was pushing back some jackets to grab a free hanger when he spotted Katya’s picture. The photo was displayed neatly on a shelf with some of Zhenya’s watches and cufflinks. Sidney had seen her pictures in the news and online, so he didn’t study the picture for long, but finding the picture there was still unexpected. 

 

As he finished hanging Zhenya’s sweater, Sidney’s thoughts were not on his task. He knew that Zhenya had Katya’s photo in his office, but Sid was having a hard time defining what he was feeling at the moment. He turned out the light to the closet, shutting the door. The rest of the day was busy, so he didn’t have long to dwell on how he felt. 

 

~~

 

Zhenya: I don’t know how I feel right now

Zhenya: I love Katya

Zhenya: but I don’t know what to do

Zhenya: she is fading from my heart

Zhenya: and Sid is here

Zhenya, tell me something: Alex

Do you love your people?:Alex

Do you always love your country?: Alex

Zhenya: Yes.

Do you always feel like they love you back?: Alex

Zhenya: No, not always.

What do you do then?: Alex

Zhenya: I try to remember what good has come from our people, toward each other. Work to see the good in them. It’s not always easy, but I try, anyway.

  
  


Alex was silent. Nothing forthcoming from him, Zhenya looked back over the conversation, still feeling like he missed something. 

  
  


Zhenya: why did you ask that?

I just wanted to see what you would say:  Alex

  
  


Zhenya gritted his teeth a bit. Alex was not being helpful. 

  
  


Zhenya: I had asked about Sidney.

Yes, you did, didn’t you?: Alex

  
  


Zhenya wasn’t stupid, but he felt it in that moment as Alex refused to answer his returning texts. Turning off the backlight to his phone, he stared out into space, trying to figure out Alex’s meaning. When it came to him, we was very grateful he was alone. Love was a choice. And he had to choose whether he was to love Sidney the way he deserved, or if he was simply a duty to fulfill. Zhenya didn’t get much work done that day. 

 

~~

 

Sidney stared at his phone. He knew he needed to do it. It was no use in putting it off any longer. This was not something that was just going to blow over. Or in the best case, go away if he ignored it long enough. 

 

He was in a constant state of nausea that only ever got better if he ate something or if he lay down. To make things worse, if he allowed himself anytime at all to sit still, he falls asleep. He could tell from the looks that Kris gave him and the pinched look that Zhenya started sporting when he looked at him, that this was not something he could let go and see if it would just blow over. 

 

Just as he reached and picked up the phone, it rang in his hand. He stared at it for a minute before answering. 

 

“Hello?”

 

“Sidney? Did I get the day wrong, dear?”

 

At the sound of his mother-in-law’s voice on the other end of the call, Sidney closed his eyes in mortification. 

 

“No, no, I completely forgot,” Sidney said softly. “I’m so sorry.”

 

“It’s alright. Did you already eat?”

 

Thinking back on the day and how he felt, he realized he hadn’t. “No.”

 

“Well, come on over. I’ll wait for you.”

 

“Okay,” Sidney agreed, quickly hanging up the phone and rushing out of his rooms. He couldn’t believe that he missed a lunch date, with his own mother-in-law. He was kicking himself when he walked into the queen’s rooms, and she rose to greet him with a hug, laughing at his hangdog face.

 

“Tut, dear, you haven’t done anything wrong,” she said warmly, smoothing his hair off of his forehead the way his own mother did. “Now let’s eat!”

 

They spent the next several minutes eating and catching up, before Natalia got a more serious expression. 

 

“Sidney, how are things with Zhenya?”

 

Sidney looked down at his almost empty plate and thought hard about how he wanted to answer. 

 

“I’m sorry, Sidney,” the queen continued. “I realize that I am putting you in a spot. Please don’t feel you have to answer. I just ask because I have come to care for you very much. You really are a part of the family, now.”

 

To Sid’s horror, he felt his eyes sting with tears. Clearing his throat a bit, he answered softly. 

 

“Some days are really, really good. Other days, it feels like we won’t ever be the sort of family I think you are looking for.”

 

“Do you think things will help if things become more intimate between you?”

 

For the first time since his marriage, Sidney didn’t blush. “I don’t know. Again, sometimes that makes it easier. But, I am finding more and more that there is more than one type of intimacy. You can be physically intimate with a person, and still not meet in your minds or your hearts.”

 

Natalia looked thoughtful. 

 

“That’s very apt, Sidney,” she said carefully. “But is it really true intimacy?”

 

Sidney smiled sadly at her, feeling very tired again. “When it’s all you’ve got, I guess you take what you can, when you can.”

 

Realizing he had said far more than he meant, he followed up quickly, “I need to say, though,” he admitted very softly, looking down at the table again. “That my own feelings for Zhenya are uncertain, but very intense. I don’t want you to think that he has been uncaring, because that is very much not true, but I feel like we still have more to go.”

 

“Oh, Sidney, thank you for telling me,” said the queen very warmly. “But right now, I am concerned about you. Please know you can come to me with anything?”

 

Sidney nodded, and their meal was finished soon after and Sid hugged Natalia warmly in farewell. He kept the fact that Natalia felt him a part of the family close to his heart the rest of the day. 

 

~~

 

Natalia left her lunch date with Sidney feeling very unsettled. After trying unsuccessfully to work for the next hour, she closed her office doors and called her husband. 

 

“Hello, what do I owe the honor of my queen’s call?”

 

Her husband had a way of brightening her whole world, and his greeting helped wipe away the worry she had felt after speaking with Sidney. Getting right to the point, knowing her husband would know just what to say, she started matter of fact.

 

“Help me understand this, dear. How can Zhenya and Sidney be physically intimate without the basis of love? How could we - ”

 

“Natalia.” The king’s voice was firm and gentle as he cut off her worried questions. “Sidney is a very desirable man, and I know that Zhenya cares for him and is very concerned to be taking all of Sidney’s reservations and desires into account. I know he is very gentle with him. His desire for Sidney is not hard to understand at all. On Sid’s part, he obviously cares for Zhenya just as much and is responding to Zhenya’s care in the same way.”

 

He paused for a moment, and Natalia tried to not interrupt his thoughts. 

 

“We have to consider, perhaps, that they are already in love and don’t know it.”

 

Natalia blinked. “How could that be?”

 

“Well, I think our level headed son is having a hard time distinguishing the difference between feelings and facts. He knows that love is a choice, but all he ever says about Sidney is that he doesn’t know how he feels about him.”

 

“You have talked with him about it? What did he say?”

 

“I simply told him he needs to deal with his feelings where they all must be dealt with - in the realm of facts. He’s a smart boy. He’ll figure it out.”

 

Natalia digested that for a bit, feeling a great warmth of affection fill him for her wise husband. “It’s a good thing I married you. You make a great king.”

 

His laugh rang down the line and she smiled in response. 

 

“I’m glad I called you, you always make things better.”

 

“No more worries?”

 

“No more worries.”

 

~~

 

Zhenya woke slowly the next weekend. As he stretched and peeked one eye open to look at the clock, he thought he must be very tired. He felt like he hadn’t moved all night. His eyes had already started to slip close again before he felt something was off. He popped one eye open to confirm it. Sure enough, his husband was wide awake and staring at him. 

 

“I can’t sleep with you staring like that, Sid,” he said with a grumble, sounding like a grouchy bear awakened too early from hibernation. He let his eyes fall shut again. 

 

But he couldn’t slide back into sleep. He could feel Sid still staring right at him. 

 

“Mean it, Sid,” he growled. “You have to look away.”

 

Sid huffed out a laugh, but kept studying his face. He felt his eyes tracking each twitch of his eyes. 

 

“Did you enjoy last night?” Sid asked suddenly. 

 

Zhenya’s eyes popped open very fast and he felt his neck creek in protest as he turned to his husband. He suddenly found himself wide awake. 

 

“You have doubts?”

 

Sid turned red and he shrugged as he finally looked away and down at the sheets. 

 

Zhenya felt his annoyance rise, frustrated again at his husband and the distance between them. He tried to cover it. 

 

“What is it, Sid, that I do that makes you feel like you are not fit to be my husband?”

 

Sid froze, shock splashed across his face, and Zhenya realized what he had just said. 

 

Sidney slid toward the edge of the bed, turning his face away from Zhenya. “I’d better get up,” he said, voice shaky. Zhenya’s concern grew and he reached out for Sid, catching him from behind. 

 

“Don’t go,” he said quietly, moving close to snuggle against his back. “It’s still early.”

 

Zhenya felt him shudder out a breath and push gently out of his arms. 

 

“I have to get up,” he gasped as he moved from Zhenya, going to the bathroom and shutting the door softly. 

 

Not knowing if it was a mistake or not, Zhenya let Sid go, not trying to stop him. He stared at the closed door for a long moment, before turning onto his back, his arm going over his eyes. 

 

Zhenya could think of many excuses to let himself off the hook for how Sidney had left their bed this morning, but he knew, deep down, that he was the cause. His deepest desire, in that moment, was that he could find a way to love Sidney the way that he deserved to be loved.

 

For the first time, Katya’s face didn’t come to mind when he thought of love. If it had, Zhenya would have gently pushed it back. Sidney was the person who needed him right now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't guessed it, then I suggest checking the tags!
> 
> I have 3 more chapters and (maybe) an epilogue to go. I have them all planned, and some scenes written, but I don't know exactly for certain when I will be able to update. I usually share on my [Tumblr](http://theminiummark.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/theminiummark/) about the status of my fics, so feel free to follow me there. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning in this chapter for:
> 
> Bomb threats, bombs exploding, and major character and minor character injuries.

Part One: Sidney

 

Sidney found himself dozing off in the reading corner at the Children’s Center. As a new installment, it was filled with comfy pillows and cushions and multiple new picture and chapter books for the kids. He had been reading to one of the toddlers in his lap, and had looked down to see her sleeping soundly against his chest.

 

He saw Kris speak with someone just outside of the door to the quiet activity room. Too comfortable to move, he had stayed put, allowing his mind to wander, and eventually his eyes closed. He thought he heard Kris on the phone, but paid it no mind, letting himself fall into sleep.  

 

“Prince Sidney,” Kris said, suddenly right by his side. Sidney startled out of sleep, blinking up at Kris. He came even more awake at the tense look on Kris’ face. “May I see you a moment.”

 

“Okay, Kris, hang on,” Sid said lowly, before gently picking up the toddler and depositing her gently on the cushion beside him. She resettled, but didn’t wake up, so Sid allowed Kris to help him to his feet and lead him towards the doors. 

 

“What’s going on, Kris?”

 

“We received a bomb threat, here at the children’s home.”

 

Sidney felt terror course through him, tightening his muscles, and flooding his body with icy tingles of dread.

 

 

 

“What?!” He exclaimed, before reining himself in and turning away from the rest of children in the room. “What do we do?”

 

“What you need to do is leave with me immediately.”

 

“What? No,” he said, staring at Kris in surprise. “We have to get the kid’s safe.”

 

“The prince would not thank me if you were harmed, Prince Sidney. We need to leave.”

 

“Kris, no, the kids -”

 

“The police have been notified and the staff are coming to get the children. We have to go  _ now _ .”

 

Sidney looked Kris in the eye, firming his spine. “We are not leaving without at least these children, here.”

 

Kris glowered at Sid, but stuck by him as he went to the toddler still sleeping, scooping her up into his arms. He turned, and put on his best encouraging face. 

 

“Okay, everyone,” he lifted his voice to cover the room. The kids all turned to look at him, eyes curious. Sidney’s heart was beating so loudly, it was a wonder he didn’t wake the little girl in his arms. “I need everyone to make their way outside, just like you would for a fire drill. It is really important that we go quickly and safely, okay?”

 

The children seemed to catch on to the fact that this was not a normal drill. Sidney and Kris herded the kids to the door, and made their way down the corridor to the main entrance. Sid held the door open, and the kids hurried through the door. Sidney could hear sirens coming toward them in the distance. 

 

“Okay, run over to the other side of the playground toward the fence,” Sidney said pointing across the paved drive and long grassy field that separated them from the main building. “Let’s see who can get their the fastest!”

 

The kids all took off, and Sidney and Kris left the building. Sid still had a tight grip on the little girl in his arms, but he could see she was awake now and had caught on to his nerves. She snaked her arms around his neck and clung like a boa constrictor. 

 

They were about fifteen feet away from the building, walking at a brisk pace. Sid could see other children and kids moving quickly away from the building. Sidney couldn’t help but feel guilt fill him like an ache behind his breastbone at the anxiety that filled each and every staff member’s face. He and Kris seemed like they were the last to leave. 

 

Then an explosion happened in the back of the building, near the kitchen. Things got confusing for a few minutes. Sidney went down hard with the concussive force of the blast pelting them with debris. Sidney did his best to keep from crushing the little girl. There was a moment when he couldn’t seem to get a breath, and all he could see was the asphalt he had landed on. 

 

There was a lot of yelling. A lot of screaming. Something ripped the toddler out of Sidney’s arms, and he scrambled to follow after, but hands were pinning him down, keeping him still. 

 

Everything started moving in slow motion. He thought for a moment, he saw Zhenya’s worried face, but everything was jumbled. Then the pain hit, and after that, Sid didn’t know anything. 

 

Part Two: Zhenya

 

Not in all of his tenure at the palace had Pascal ever received a call like the one he just had. He could tell from Kris’ tight fury, this was not something he could take lightly. He quickly alerted the Chief of Security and made his way to the council chambers. 

 

His walk was loud as he practically ate up the length of the hall with his firm and urgent pace and his face was set in grim lines. As he passed by, several members of the staff wondered at the cause. They had not seen the man so serious before, as he was seldom seen without a smile. Pascal felt the weight of his news. This was shaping up to be one of the most difficult days of his life. 

 

~~

 

Zhenya was startled out of his daze when the council chamber doors were flung open, and Duper hurried inside. The Minister of Finance cut off abruptly, as Duper rounded the room to reach the prince. 

 

Zhenya straightened in his seat and he could not help but be alarmed at the look on Duper’s face. Knowing whatever it was, it must be important, Zhenya stood and said something to excuse himself, and met Duper before he could make it halfway across the room. Once in the hall, Zhenya turned to him with a frown.

 

“What is it, Duper?”

 

“I just got word from Kris. The Children’s Center received a bomb threat.”

 

Zhenya’s blood ran cold. He stared at Duper, trying to get a grip on his thoughts that were all frozen in panic. 

 

“Is Kris with Sidney?”

 

“He is, but we haven’t been able to raise him back on the phone. Emergency services have been called, but we have not received any further word.”

 

Zhenya thought quickly. “Get word to my father, explain the situation, and tell him I am headed there with the emergency services.”

 

Pascal gave him a look as though he might object, but Zhenya’s glare shut him down. Zhenya didn’t care what he had to do, he was getting to his husband. 

 

~~

 

Zhenya paced frantically. After racing to the Children’s Center, he had been blockaded by the police and bomb squad. They were not allowing him any closer until the scene had been cleared of explosives. He could see it in the distance, but wasn’t close enough to see what has happening. Everything was chaos. 

 

He had been briefed by the Chief of Police when he arrived. A bomb had gone off. They were unsure if any other explosives had been planted. The threat had only indicated the Center, but they were not taking any unnecessary risks. There were small fires and unstable parts of the Center that were still being handled with care. 

 

When Zhenya had asked about casualties, the news was heartening, but still grimm.

 

“There are no fatalities that we know of. But there are many injured. A temporary triage area has been set up until it is safe for us to move them. We won’t know for sure until the area is clear and secure.”

 

They had refused to allow the prince to go to those who were hurt. Even after he had confirmed that his husband and bodyguard were at the Center when the explosion took place. It took James’ restraining hand on his shoulder to hold him in place. His mind took in the facts that children were harmed, but, if only to himself, his heart was with his husband. 

 

“Please, as soon as you are able, give me an idea of where Prince Sidney is and his status,” he beseeched, gripping the Chief of Police’s arm in earnest. “As well as the status of everyone injured.”

 

The Chief simply nodded curtly, before turning back to his makeshift command center and walkie talkie. 

 

Zhenya sat on a nearby curb and ran his hands through his hair. 

 

~~

 

“Your Highness.”

 

Zhenya’s head jerked up. The Chief of Police motioned him forward, and Zhenya pushed himself to his feet. 

 

“The area is clear and secure. Sergeant Murray will take you to where they are attending your husband.”

 

They wasted no time, hurrying through the chaos to the grassy side of the building that was relatively untouched by the blast. James stuck as close as a shadow as they moved down the line of the injured. Most were children, with abrasions from the debris. It looked as though many had made it to safety before the explosion was set off. 

 

Zhenya’s eyes skipped over dark and light colored heads as he made his way down the line, toward the emergency vehicles that were starting to be loaded with the injured. Zhenya spotted Kris first. He was sitting next to a stretcher, with his left arm in a sling and a little girl who looked no older than three in his lap. 

 

Zhenya was utterly unprepared for the sight of his husband. 

 

Sidney was lying on a stretcher on his side, his neck and body braced to allow little movement. He was unconscious and his shirt was torn at the back to show bandages covering most of his shoulders and upper back. 

 

The paramedics attending him, were finishing with an IV and the young man nearest Sidney’s face finished settling an oxygen mask in place over Sidney’s relaxed features,  turned to Zhenya and met his eyes straight on. 

 

“Your Highness,” he said seriously, dipping his head a bit in respect. “Your husband has a head injury we are worried about, so he is being prepped to be transferred to the hospital. Will you be riding with him?”

 

Zhenya nodded mutely, before turning to meet James’ eyes. 

 

“I’ll follow behind with Kris and Paul,” said James, reading the need in his eyes. James turned to Sargent Murray, and quickly arranged for a police escort to the hospital. Before he knew it, they were on their way, Sidney’s hand clutched tight within his own. 

 

  
Part Three: Sidney and Zhenya

 

Sidney struggled out of unconsciousness and squinted at the woman bending over him. 

 

“Wha - “ he tried to say, his voice barely heard, throat clicking as he tried to swallow. 

 

“It’s all right, Sidney, You’re going to be all right. He’s awake,” the woman said to someone else, and Sidney told himself to fight the pain and speak. A man had just bent over him when he found his voice. 

 

“Where am I?” he whispered.

 

“You are at the hospital, Sidney.” 

 

A bright light shined into his eyes, and he flinched and slammed his eyes shut.

 

“Sidney, can you tell me your full name?”

 

“Sidney Patrick Malkin. Can I - is Zhenya -” his voice wouldn’t let him get anymore words out, and he tried to reach out to the man. But his hand’s wouldn’t obey him; he was too weak and too full of tubes to get them to move. Sleep was pulling him down again, and he just couldn’t fight it. Somewhere in his mind, he felt they were lying to him, keeping Zhenya away. Or worse, that Zhenya was hurting too, and he just couldn’t get to him. He began to cry just as he succumbed to slumber. 

 

~~

 

Zhenya paced the hallway. There was a small waiting area where his and Sidney’s parents were waiting, but he couldn’t stand to be so far away from Sid. The waiting was slowly driving him mad. 

 

The only inkling he had came from the nurse on duty was that Sidney had a concussion and they were worried about an internal hemorrhage. They had him on observation and were taking him in for more testing. They promised Zhenya that he would be the first to hear an update on Sidney’s status and when he would be allowed to see him.

 

That was over two hours ago. 

 

Zhenya couldn’t help but think that they were hiding something from him. All of the worst case scenarios were flooding his mind. He didn’t think he would survive if he lost Sidney, not after losing Katya. 

 

And not now that he was realizing how much Sid meant to him. Seeing Sidney so hurt, holding his hand as he was hurt, brought all of Zhenya’s feeling forward with no filters. 

 

He was in love with Sidney. And to miss the chance to tell him, to grow in that love? It would break him. He would have nothing left. 

 

He was so caught up in his thoughts, he almost missed the doctor coming to meet him until he was standing just before him. 

 

“Your Highness.”

 

“How is he?”

 

The doctor gently took Zhenya by the elbow and led him to the bench down a side corridor filled with windows. Zhenya couldn’t recall the doctor’s name, but tried to remain respectful as he waited for the man to speak.

 

“Before we let you see Prince Sidney, I wanted to prepare you,” the doctor began. “He does have a concussion, which we are monitoring, but right now it doesn’t seem to have any affect on him mentally. There will be headaches and other sensitivity for a while. He will be fine with time.”

 

Zhenya let out a breath of relief, but kept quiet as the doctor continued. 

 

“What I wanted to speak to you about, is the hemorrhaging that Sidney experienced. We noticed the blood when he was being examined when he first arrived, and were immediately concerned about internal bleeding. After some testing, we found while the bleeding was concerning, the cause became much more clear. Did you or Sidney know he was expecting?”

 

The breath Zhenya had just gotten back was taken away from him in shock. 

 

“Expecting?” Zhenya croaked. He cleared his throat, swallowing with difficulty. “You mean, a baby?”

 

The doctor nodded, smiling a little. “I am happy to tell you that the bleed has stopped and Sidney and the baby are stable. Sidney will be quite weak, and we will be keeping a close eye on things, but they both should be find.”

 

Zhenya breathed a laugh, still not quite believing it. A baby. 

 

“Can I see him now?”

 

“Go ahead.”

 

Zhenya barely waiting for directions before prowling the length of the halls to Sidney’s room. 

 

A baby. Sidney was giving him a  _ baby.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have been following me on [tumblr](http://theminiummark.tumblr.com/), you may have read this chapter already! If not, feel free to join the party. Otherwise, this story is soon coming to an end! I am hoping to have it completed by the end of July.
> 
> Thank you to all the readers who continue to read this story. A special thanks to all who leave a kudo or a comment. You are my heroes!


	19. Chapter 19

Trina and Natalia sat together next to Sidney in companionable silence. Trina’s eyes traveled over and over Sidney’s bruised and pale face, filled with warring parts of joy and worry. Sidney had been moved from intensive care into a regular room, and spent more time sleeping that he did awake. Sidney had lost a great deal of blood and would likely be in the hospital for some days, to observe both his own condition, and that of the baby. 

With the injuries to his back, Sidney was laying on his side, propped up by pillows and surrounded by blankets. He faced his mother, while Natalia sat on the other side of the bed. 

The two women hadn’t spoken much, they were content to wait with Sidney while Zhenya left to get some rest at the palace. They were waiting for over an hour, before Sidney’s eyes flickered. Trina stood and perched on the side of his bed, pushing his hair back off his forehead like he was four years old again. Natalia joined Trina on the side Sidney’s was facing.

“Sidney?” 

“Mom?”

“Right here, sweetheart.”

“Zhenya?”

“He left for some rest, but he will be back soon.”

“Oh,” said Sidney, his voice small. He looked to his hands in his lap, IV line and and bandages covering the scrapes on his arms. He swallowed around the dryness in this throat before asking hesitantly, “Is he very angry with me?”

His mother lifted a spoon with an ice chip on it to his mouth, and watched as his mother smiled warmly at him as it melted on his tongue. 

“No, baby,” she said, smoothing his hair out of his face again. “But he is very worried. And he has some things he will need to talk with you about.”

Feeling his alarm growing, Sidney moved to sit up, before gasping at the sharp pull in his back, and the resulting throb that echoed in his head. 

“Mom, I need to see him,” he pleaded, eyes taking in Natalia, too. “Can you get him?”

Natalia took his hand, speaking in a soft voice he had never heard before. 

“Sidney, Zhenya went with his father and yours to eat something and shower at home. He will be back soon.” She squeezed his hand before continuing, “but you scared us all quite a bit, and need as much rest as you can before you speak with him.”

Sidney did not feel any better for her words, even though he could see that she meant them in kindness. He tried to settle back and rest into the bed, but his mind was racing over what Zhenya needed to tell him. 

~~

Zhenya fidgeted in his seat on the way back to the hospital from the palace. His was anxious to get back to Sidney, not only because he was injured, but also so he could finally talk with him. The news of their child was too big for just him to carry. He needed his husband with him in this. 

He just hoped he knew what to say. While sharing this wonderful future with Sidney, he also knew that Sidney would have challenges with recovering from his injuries, as well as progressing in his pregnancy. He hoped he would be able to show Sidney he was supportive. That his concern wouldn’t be overwhelming. 

There was also the matter of his feelings for Sidney. He had been aware that he had been thinking of Sidney in a new way, that he cared for him very much, but until the moment he thought he had lost him, he had not been aware of how deep his feelings ran. When confronted with the thought of not having Sidney with him, alive and happy by his side, he had been content to hide behind his comfort of Sidney’s companionship. 

Now it was like he was seeing the world in a whole new way. He planned on sharing that at the right moment, though. He was hurting for Sidney in more ways than one. With all that Sidney had and will be experiencing, he didn’t want to add any pressure of him returning Zhenya’s feelings. 

It was time for Zhenya to sacrifice for his husband in the same way he had already done for him. 

~~

Sidney came awake to the soft sound of the door to his room closing. Blinking blearily, he looked around the room, realizing some time had passed since he had fallen asleep. The natural light was fading from the room, making the florescent lighting in the room more noticeable. 

The most noticeable change in the room, perhaps, was the presence of his husband. He had his face in profile to Sidney’s, and he was talking on the phone with someone. His voice was soft, pitched low as to not disturb Sidney. He looked tired, but not worn. Sidney knew that it was due to him, being here, in this bed. But there was something else he saw on Zhenya’s face, something that had not been there before. A contentment infused his face, making his eyes softer. Even as he got up to pace, and his answers became shorter in response to what he was being told, he still seemed to radiate a peaceful countenance beneath it all. 

Sidney couldn’t help but smile a little at his husband, feeling better about everything, now that he could see him. But even as he watched, he remembered what his mother had said, about them needing to talk, and he was nervous again. 

He must have made a noise, or moved in a more obvious way, because Zhenya chose that moment to look at him, and their eyes met. Zhenya smiled, eyes completely lit up from seeing Sidney awake. He quickly ended his phone call, and came to sit beside Sidney. Zhenya took Sidney’s hand his his wide, strong hands, holding it up to his mouth to kiss. 

“Hey, Sid,” he said softly, smile a little wondrous as he looked at Sidney. “Nice to see your eyes.”

Sidney squeezed Zhenya’s hand and smiled back, but didn’t say anything just yet, watching his husband. 

Still smiling, Zhenya started again, not allowing the silence to come in at all. “You scared me quite a bit, Sid, but we are through worst, I think. How are you feeling?”

Sidney took in that question and turned it inward. “I’m really sore. Tired. Headaches.” It was all at once, too much to say, yet said so little about what he was really feeling. 

Zhenya only nodded, smile not dimming yet, and if anything, his face got softer, somehow. 

“Your doctor said that would be a case for a while. You are on observation for a while, and we have a plan for you at home, but there is something you need to know that he felt was best coming from me.”

For the first time since Zhenya found him awake, he looked away from Sidney’s face. He lost his smile. He weighed his words carefully, taking a fortifying breath, before looking back at Sidney. 

“First of all, you are doing much better. You are in observation primarily for a concussion, and the abrasions you have on your back. You are testing well with a concussion, and in both cases, now it will just take time and rest to help you get better.” Pausing for a moment, Zhenya searched his eyes, before a little of his smile came back. “But, when you first arrived at the hospital, their initial tests indicated some internal bleeding, so they took you in for more tests.”

Again, Zhenya’s eyes skittered away from Sidney’s face, traveling down his body. He ended up looking around Sidney’s stomach for a tense moment, before coming back to meet Sidney’s eyes. 

“Sid, they found...well, you showed, - “ he stopped, clearing his throat. “Sid, they found the internal bleeding was from your pregnancy. They found that you are about ten weeks pregnant, and there was an issue with the placenta that they have been keeping an eye on.”

Sidney stared at his husband, trying to wrap his head around what he was being told. 

Pregnant. He was _pregnant._

~~

Zhenya watched as Sidney took in what he told him. He watched the shock take precedence, Sidney still and his hazel eyes the biggest that Zhenya had ever seen. Then Sidney drew in a breath and refocused on him. 

“And the baby? The baby is okay?”

Zhenya nodded urgently, not wanting Sidney to be worried for anything. He was going to take care of them both. 

“Everything is fine, Sid. You just will be weak for a while. The doctor wants you on bedrest for the foreseeable future, but he is very optimistic.”

Zhenya watched Sidney relax into the bed, his free hand coming up to cradle his stomach. A sleepy smile, followed by a yawn that took him by surprise if his expression was anything to go by. Zhenya covered Sidney’s hand with one of his own, holding the man he had come to love and the little bit of each other that was growing in Sid. He watched Sid’s eyes close, the greatest feeling of contentment filling him at the sight. Things were going to be okay. He would make sure of it. 

“Sleep well, Sid,” he whispered, leaning over to brush a kiss along Sidney’s brow. Daring a little, he breathed out, “love you,” against Sid’s skin. Sidney stirred a bit at that, but didn’t come back awake, a sigh escaping him as he tightened his hand on Zhenya’s again. 

Zhenya leaned back, shifting with both hands occupied to get comfortable. He contented to watch Sid for a while, leaving all the worries for later. Whenever Sidney would stir, he would run his hands through Sid’s hair. 

“It’s alright, Sid,” he murmured, knowing Sidney could not hear him. “And as soon as you’re ready to hear it, I’ll tell you just how all right it’s going to be.”

~~

The worries did not wait for long. With Sid sleeping again, the door to his room opened quietly and Pascal came in, coming to stand next to Zhenya, squeezing his shoulder in greeting. Holding out Zhenya’s tablet to him, he quietly walked Zhenya through the plan to get Sidney and himself home safely, as well as the security measures that were in place now at the palace. 

Zhenya nodded along, noting that Kris was out of rotation due to his injuries and made a note to himself to check in and thank the man personally. He had done his job well, in the face of such a disaster. 

Before Pascal turned to leave, Zhenya motioned him to sit in the closest chair. 

“Duper, thank you for all you have done, but we are not done yet,” he began. His voice was kept low and grave as he leveled his most serious gaze on Pascal. “I have been speaking with our Head of Security and the Chief of Police. They have arrested a few members of this...radical group, but they have not been able to apprehend the leader.”

Zhenya leaned forward, staring at Sidney, his elbows on his knees. He rubbed at his chin before taking a deep breath. 

“They advised that I wrap up the new labor reforms as soon as possible. I have called an emergency meeting of the council for tomorrow evening, where we will put this to a final vote.”

He turned a hard look on Pascal. “Sidney won’t be safe until this bastard is taken care of. We are forcing his hand, taking away his ammunition, the drive. We are hoping he makes a mistake.”

Pascal nodded. “I understand, your Highness, but why tell me this?”

“I need you to stay with Sidney. I know the security team will be there, but I need to know you will _be_ with him, until I come home.”

He needed Pascal to be there, when he couldn’t. Duper knew Sidney and Zhenya very well, and he trusted Duper to keep Sidney calm until this was all over. It would make it easier to leave him - _them -_ behind. To go out and do his duty, with a little less worry. 

“Of course, sir,” said Pascal firmly. “You have my word, I will care for him like the brother he is to me; that the both of you are.”

Zhenya smiled, before dragging them both out of their chairs into a hug. Zhenya sighed into the embrace, hoping this would all be over soon, and they can focus on happier things. 

~~

Early the next morning, Sidney gently eased himself down into the wheelchair and settled his shaking hands over still flat stomach, willing his roiling stomach and dizzy head to settle down. Zhenya squatted down in front of him, brushing his hair from his forehead. 

“All set?”

Sidney nodded and gave his husband a weak smile. He still felt shaky and weak, and exhaustion laps at him, making him want to sleep for days. Only the promise of home and safety made the grueling ordeal of getting there seem worth it. 

Zhenya moved behind Sidney, taking the handles of the chair, and smoothly rolling him out of his room. They were surrounded by four members of the palace security and escorted to the bay were the emergency services vehicles were housed when they were not in use. This section of the hospital was gated, allowing for Sidney and the prince to get into the armored car with as little security risk as possible. 

Once they were on their way, Sidney laid his head on his husband’s shoulder, his arm curled around Zhenya’s, holding him close. He closed his eyes, waiting for the minutes to pass, and them to be home.

The arrived at the palace with no complications. Sidney was once again deposited into a wheelchair, and he was greeted by the queen and his mother, who again with a group of security personnel, was lead slowly through the palace to their rooms. Sidney, through the haze of weariness, directed them to Zhenya’s room. 

Right now, it was the safest place he could think of being. 

No sooner had he been settled into bed, was he asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! Thank you for your continued patience. We only have a few more chapters to go, and I am hoping to have them finished up very soon. Feel free to check out my [Tumblr](http://theminiummark.tumblr.com/) for updates or if you have any questions or suggestions for the fic!


	20. Chapter 20

Taylor’s hug was long and warm when she came to see Sidney the day after he came home. It was a bright and sunny Saturday morning, and she had been assigned “Sidney Sitting” as Zhenya had taken to call it after Sidney had grumped at him the day before. Sidney had carefully showered and dressed, but had gone back to bed in Zhenya’s room. Taylor pulled one of the arm chairs close to the bed, plopped her feet down on the duvet, crossing her ankles, and folding her hands across her stomach. 

“Thanks for coming,” Sidney said, grinning tiredly at her. “Zhenya was so anxious, not wanting to leave me here alone. It’s like he has never been away from me before.”

“Well, he has no reason to worry,” Taylor says, buoyant. “We have to talk about this baby anyway. It will keep us plenty busy. I’m not going to be the best aunt this kiddo has ever had for nothing.”

Sidney felt his whole being light up with the mention of their baby. He was still a bit stunned by it all, and a long talk with his sister was just what he needed to start to feel like he was ready to be a parent. 

He settled back against his pillows and began to tell Taylor all about what the doctor had told him when he was discharged. 

~~

Zhenya was pacing. He hated being away from Sidney right now. Besides that, he was also nervous about how things would play out this afternoon. 

They had a plan. Zhenya had called an official meeting to vote on the new labor policies he has been proposing to the council for the past few months. With the latest threats and finally the attack on the Children’s Center, the most vocal opposition to his policy has been found responsible. 

The Patriots for Prosperity, anti-monarchy, fascism group has been vocally protesting against the crown for the better part of the decade. It was not until this past year, when Zhenya had become more aggressive in moving in the interests of the people, have they become a real threat. While the direct threats against Zhenya haven’t been claimed, with their latest attempt escalated to violence, enough evidence was found to lead directly to the group and it’s leaders. 

The military and the palace security compiled the evidence and came to Zhenya with a plan. They hoped by staging the policy vote, they could draw the leaders into the open. Force them into making a mistake, and allowing the military to take them into custody. 

Zhenya had called a secret meeting of the council the evening before, calling the vote, and indicting the policies. By televising the upcoming vote of the decision that was already made and put into place, they were effectively setting the trap, leading the group to think they still had a chance to move the vote in their favor, hopefully exposing themselves in the process. They were banking on the emotional extremes that seemed to run the group. They had everything in place to make this feel like too good of an opportunity to pass up: their last chance of glory. 

Zhenya was just relieved that Sidney was safe at home, with as much security as he could make happen. Regardless of how this turned out, he knew that Sidney would not be in the position of such danger again. 

Zhenya smoothed down his tie and buttoned his jacket again, tugging his sleeves into place after combing his hair down. He takes a deep breath, before nodding to the agent by the door to the stage where he would announce the bill. 

The hall went quiet as he stepped up to the podium and looked out over the assembled. 

“Thank you all for joining us, today. As many of you know, it was not long ago, that we as a council began a journey to improve the quality of conditions and livelihood for most of our working class. What you may not know is, last evening, the council voted and passed a bill that will make all of that possible,” he paused, looking over the crowd. “I won’t go into too much detail, as that has been covered over the last few months, but I would like to open this time for any questions.”

As soon as he did, many members of the media immediately started talking over each other. With the help of the minister of public relations, he calmly answered as much as he could, all the while on guard for anyone they knew as a member of the Patriots to come forward. 

He didn’t have to wait long. 

Through the throng, a tall, balding man pushed his way to the front of the stage. He was kept apart from the prince by security and other members of the staff, but once Zhenya noticed him, he didn’t take his eyes off of him. For all that he seemed innocuous, there was an intensity in how he held himself. He was tense, his jaw clenched. One hand was tightened to a fist, and the other was pushed deep into his coat pocket. 

Zhenya looked away for a moment, catching James’ eye, and motioning as subtle as he could towards the man. James’ eyes snapped to the man immediately, and he spoke into his earpiece at a rapid fire rate. 

Just as a lull in the questions came, the man raised his head and locked eyes with Zhenya. 

“You are a fool. You are weak and your rule will bring our ruin,” the man began, at first speaking just loud enough to be heard by Zhenya, but soon he shouted, each word punched from his throat in anger. The hall hushed as he continued. “You are taking what has been ours, for generations, and you are giving to those worthless people, who will just throw it all away!”

As he finished, he pulled a gun from his coat, pointing it unwavering at Zhenya, a manic grin covering his face. Zhenya didn’t even have time to react, as the man was quickly tackled by the security team around the stage, who had jumped at the first motion from the man’s hand hidden away. 

A shot rang out, and had people scrambling and screaming. Zhenya had been pulled to the back of the stage by the agents, their backs to him, carefully watching the maniac as he was born to the ground and arrested. The shot had discharged harmlessly into the ceiling, the gun quickly kicked away and recovered by another agent. 

The man was still screaming as he was lead away by force, the minister of public relations calmly dismissing the hall as Zhenya was led to backstage. 

It was chaos, but Zhenya grabbed James as soon as he was close by. 

“Did we get him? Is he the right man?”

“Yep, we got him.”

“Anyone hurt?”

“Everyone is fine, your highness. Let’s get you home now.”

And with that, Zhenya was led quickly from the Council Building and into the waiting armored car.

Zhenya leaned his head back and let out the breath that he felt he had been holding from the moment he stepped onto the stage. He felt like the worst was done. 

He returned home weary, yet triumphant. It really was all over for now.

~~

Zhenya found Taylor dozing on his side of the bed, with Sidney tucked under the covers were he should be. His color was looking better and Zhenya stood there for several drawn out moments, tracing over Sidney’s features with his eyes, captivated again that this was his husband. 

After he came out of the bathroom, dressed in clothes for sleeping, he found Taylor sitting up, rubbing at her eyes. 

“Hey, how was the thing?” She asked, her voice pitched low. She met his eyes as he sat on the edge of the mattress next to Sidney. He rested his hand on Sidney’s hip and smiled at her.

“Everything went as planned.” Zhenya glance back at his husband. “How was he?”

“He’s fine. We talked for a while until he was getting too tired to stay awake.”

“He complain of any pain or discomfort?”

“No, you know Sid,” she said with a grin. “But he was shaky on the way to the bathroom, and did end up taking some of the pain medication the doctor prescribed, so he must have been feeling sore. I think it was keeping him from settling enough to sleep.”

Zhenya nodded, his eyes not leaving his husband. His hand had started rubbing slow circles on Sidney’s hip. Even with their voices kept low, he could tell that Sidney was starting to wake up. 

“Feel free to head back to your room, if you want,” Zhenya offered. “I plan on crawling in bed with him here shortly.”

Taylor nodded, before leaning over and kissing Sidney on the top of his head. Leaving with a smile, she gently closed the door on her way out. 

Zhenya settled himself under the covers, curling protectively around Sidney. With relief that everything was _over,_ that they were finally safe, he found himself deep in slumber. 

~~

Sidney made it to the bottom of the stairs, a tired but triumphant smile on his face. The doctor had cleared him for short walks about the palace at his morning check up, and he was headed to Zhenya’s office to surprise him. He hadn’t been out of their rooms for almost two weeks now, and he was grateful for the chance to stretch out a little. 

He knocked softly and peaked his head around the door, only to find Zhenya’s office empty, taking all of the wind out of Sidney’s sails. He felt like a balloon with all of the air let out. He sank into Zhenya’s desk chair, breathing deep a few times. The chair was very comfortable, and he let his mind drift, pondering what his prince of a husband was up to. He smiled as the clouds shifted outside the window, allowing sunshine to filter in and fall across his face. 

He closed his eyes and basked for a while. 

~~

“I found him.”

Sidney opened his eyes at the sound of Zhenya’s voice. He was speaking into his cell phone, his eyes intensely locked onto Sidney. 

“In my office,” he continued. “I’ll let you know if we need you.”

“I came to surprise you and you weren’t here,” Sidney told him as soon as he hung up. 

“Well,” he said, voice mild, but his smile was wry. “You surprised the staff instead?”

He huffed out a laugh at befuddled face Sidney must have been making. He sat on the edge of the desk, his face warm and fond.

“Duper couldn’t find you. Everyone was in a bit of a panic.”

“Oh, no! I didn’t even think!” Sidney exclaimed, anxious and ready to put to rights the concern that he must have caused. He started to get up, but Zhenya was quick to shush him, his hands framing Sidney’s face, brushing his cheeks with his thumbs. Zhenya was watching him so closely, that he started to feel uncomfortable. 

“Are you mad at me?”

“Not at all. I’m trying to see if you are strong enough to walk into the main attendance hall.”

Sidney's eyebrows rose. “What is in the attendance hall?”

Zhenya didn’t answer, simply guiding Sidney to his feet and leading him out to the hall. When he pushed open the doors, Sidney’s breath left him.

“Zhenya,” was all that Sidney could manage as he stared around him in awe. The room was ablaze with flowers. Every variety, color, and size was present. 

“It seemed as though our people heard of your injury and our good news and wanted their Prince Consort to know how much they care.”

Sidney turned to him, his eyes filling with tears as he tried to tell his husband how he was feeling at that moment. 

“The staff was telling me that the palace has not seen this many flowers since I was born,” Zhenya grinned at him. “I’ve been completely overthrown.”

“Oh, Zhenya,” Sidney whispered. “Do you ever feel completely unworthy?”

“Often.”

Sidney shook his head. “I haven’t been a great consort, Zhenya. I mean, I can do better. If only the _knew._ ”

“If they knew what I do, the flowers would never stop coming,” Zhenya said gently, his arms coming around Sidney to hold him close. 

Feeling suddenly weak and overwhelmed, he leaned almost completely against Zhenya. Zhenya didn’t hesitate to take his weight, going a step further and lifting him into his arms, carrying him from the room and back to bed. Sidney was almost asleep again as he gently laid him down, covering him up, and brushing the hair from his brow. 

“I’m so tired of tired, Zhenya,” he sighed, feeling a kiss alight where Zhenya’s fingers had just been. 

~~

Zhenya smiled at his husband as he turned his face into the pillow and drifted completely into sleep. It amazed him anew at the depth of his feelings for this man. The protectiveness inside of him was fierce, but the love was of the gentlest kind. It also made him patient. Patience was what he sorely needed right now. If the sight of their subject’s kindness made him cry, he feared what the declaration of his feelings might do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one more to go! Stop by my theminiummark on tumblr to track my progress or ask me anything.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this story and for reading, commenting, and leaving kudos. You are all fantastic!
> 
> Next up: FEELINGS


	21. Chapter 21

“There’s been a change of plans,“ said Zhenya as his hands come around to cover Sidney’s eyes from behind. He had been packing, and had just put his novel and the baby books he had bought for the time away he and Zhenya had planned into his bag. It had been almost six weeks since Sidney had been released from the hospital. 

Zhenya had been anticipating this for the last few weeks. They both needed time away from the palace. Just for them. 

“Alright, but I thought we were leaving for the mountains in just a few minutes - Zhenya, where are we going?” Sidney’s voice goes from amused curiosity to befuddlement as Zhenya guides him gently out into their joint parlor. 

“You need to meet with some women before we go.”

“What women? Zhenya - “

He interrupts with a smile stretching his face with glee, winking at said women waiting for them in the parlor. 

“The women who are waiting for you.” 

Sidney stopped short, causing Zhenya to crowd up close behind him before he caught himself. Sidney had a smile playing about his mouth, and now he knew his husband was playing along. 

“Women I know?”

“Yes.”

“My mom?”

“Yep.”

“Your mom?”

“Right again.”

“Are there more?”

Zhenya just chucked, letting his hands fall away to reveal the queen, Trina, Taylor, and Nathalie Lemieux all seated around the low table, books, paint swatches, and carpet samples strewn around them. 

Sidney’s smile grew at the sight of some of his favorite women, but he still looked curiously over his shoulder at Zhenya. Zhenya just shook his head, guiding them both over to the over-sized chair to get them settled. 

“They are here to help us get our space ready for the baby,” he said softly. Kissing Sidney behind his ear, he snuggled his husband close, covering his barely there bump with his big hands. “Make our rooms more like _our_ family. They’ll get it done while we are gone. Say good-bye to the orange.”

Zhenya knew it was more than worth it from the misty smile Sidney turned his way, before he was caught up in all the design decisions. Zhenya just snuggled in closer, hoping his next surprise was just as happily received. 

~~

The fire was crackling along in the hearth, and Zhenya had Sidney fully wrapped in his arms on the long sofa in front of the large fireplace. All of the other lights in the room were out, leaving just the warm glow casting shadows across Sidney’s face. The staff had all disappeared after dinner. Zhenya had told them that if they needed anything, they would call, and now they sat in silence. 

Zhenya could tell that Sidney was weary from the day. Today had been a far busier one than he’s had since before his injury. Before they found about the baby. Zhenya looked down at Sidney, his hands clasped firmly over Zhenya’s as they had splayed over his stomach as soon as they had gotten comfortable. He marveled again that this was his. That he had been given, a second - a _third_ chance a love, at love he never thought he would have again. 

His heart was racing because this was the right time, the right moment. Sidney looked soft, staring into the fire and Zhenya couldn’t help his feelings of love and adoration. He turned his hands to grasp Sidney’s. Sidney turned to him to look at his eyes, a soft smile touching his lips. 

“I love you, Sidney,” he said, voice soft and tender. 

For a moment, his husband did not move. He sat up a little, before positioning himself to see Zhenya’s face a bit more. He didn’t pull away. 

“What did you say?”

“I love you.”

Sidney searched his eyes, his breathing picked up. Zhenya tried to keep his face open, allowing Sidney to see all of the love, the depth of it show Sidney how much this was true. Sidney’s hands came up to grip at Zhenya’s shirt, his eyes making a frantic course over Zhenya’s features. 

“Why, Zhenya?” He asked frantic. “Why today and not yesterday?”

“I loved you yesterday, too,” Zhenya explained gently, his hands coming up to cover Sidney’s. “And for many days before that, but the timing was wrong. I wanted to tell you here, away from obligations and distractions, where it was just us, so we could talk.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Sidney said quickly, panic now evident in his voice. He began to withdraw, moving away from Zhenya, trying to move from the sofa, but Zhenya put his arms back around him, gently guiding Sidney back to him. 

“Sidney, please don’t run from me,” Zhenya whispered. “I’m still the same man who was with you in the hospital. I’m still the same man who holds you when you are overwhelmed by hormones and puts you to med when you are too tired to move. I’m still the same man who fell asleep in the car and probably snored all the way up here.” 

Sidney looked at his hands as they twisted around each other for a long moment, before lifting them again to Zhenya’s. Finally, he admitted, “I always thought it would be the most terrifying thing to be in love alone, but this is worse. What if I can’t say the words to you? What if I never feel them the same way?”

Zhenya didn’t answer for a long while, carefully thinking through his answer and feeling Sidney relax against him. “I think you will feel them, but you may need to realize what I did: Love is a choice. I didn’t know I could love you, especially so soon after our marriage, but then I chose to love you.”

Sidney blinked. “I keep hearing that, but I’m not sure I know how, at this point.”

“For me, it meant getting into your world. It meant being thankful for you, all day, every day. Make sense?”

Sidney nodded. 

“I also had to remind myself that you entrusted yourself to me to take care of you and I began to take that responsibility very seriously. I started to treat you like we were just meeting and I was courting you. We hadn’t had the time to truly get to know each other, and that part is largely my fault. We’ve had to do this a bit backward.”

“But I _am_ in your world!” Sidney burst out. “I’m close to your parents. I’ve seen every photo album and heard stories of you.”

Zhenya smiled. “I don’t think this is going to be the same for you, Sid. You are in my world, but I think your heart has been waiting for a signal from me. Now, I’m trying to give you that.” 

Sidney was tense in his arms again, and he felt the fine trembles running through him. He tightened his hold, rubbing one hand up and down his arm. 

“I’m going to fail,” Sidney said softly. 

“Why would you say that?” 

Zhenya looked at him closely, carefully cataloging all of his emotions as they made their way across his face. Sidney opened his mouth to answer, but ended up only licking his lips and staring back at Zhenya. 

“This isn’t some test, Sidney. This isn’t something that will make you any less my husband or the Prince Consort. If anyone has failed in these things, it would be me.” He felt helpless for a moment, searching for the right words. “Maybe I should have told you way to tell you sooner, but then you got hurt, and I was desperately afraid - “

“You loved me before I got hurt? Before you knew about the baby?”

“Yes,” he kissed Sidney tenderly. “I loved you even when I thought I had lost you and thought I had missed my chance to tell you, to share this with you forever. When I thought you were gone, I thought I was destined to live my life alone, that your absence would leave me broken. With finding you whole, finding not only you, my love, but this wonderful child? I was overwhelmed.”

Zhenya smoothed the hair from Sidney’s brow, remembering the sight of Sidney at the center, in the ambulance, at the hospital. “I was so close to never having you again. You could have bled to death. You are just now starting to feel like yourself again, but there is still so much to be careful of with the baby. What kind of selfish asshole would I have to be to have an agenda, even of my love, to push on you? I wanted it to be right, not too much. This isn’t meant as a burden, but hopefully a blessing to you, Sid.”

~~

Sidney looked down at his husband’s wonderful face. So open and trusting throughout this conversation. Zhenya’s eyes didn’t give away his heart like Sidney’s did, but they were often full of caring, caring for him. Right now, all Sidney could see was yearning. Yearning for understanding. And Sidney did. 

“Thank you,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss him again. He pulled back, serious. “I want to make you all of the promises I can, Zhenya, but that would be wrong.” Sidney shook his head. “I’m confused right now, of my own feelings. It wouldn’t be fair to you to promise something I was unsure of right now.”

Zhenya nodded, smiling and kissing Sidney. “Thank you for telling me that. The pleasure will always be, mine, though.”

Sidney had nothing more to say, and it didn’t appear that Zhenya was in any hurry to continue either. He snuggled in close to Zhenya, the tiredness he had been feeling earlier falling away as his mind raced and he started planning ways to start loving his spouse. Sidney was good with problems. Like a play on the ice, he could come up with a game plan to tackle this and love his husband. That was all there was to it. 

“Why do I get the feeling you are plotting something?” asked Zhenya wryly.

“Because I am.”

“Are you going to tell me what it is?”

“No. At least not now.”

They both settled in, each content to their own thoughts and plans, until Sidney was dozing, content and warm in Zhenya’s arms. He barely registered as Zhenya picked him up and headed up the stairs to put them both to bed.

~~

Sidney woke the next morning, alone in the bed, feeling as close to rested for the first time in a long time. It was early enough that he still had plenty of the day ahead, and yet late enough that sleeping in felt decadent. 

Laying in the mussed bead clothes, he debated even moving, before his body reminded him that it had other needs. Shuffling into the bathroom and then his clothes, Sidney made his way gingerly down to the kitchen for something like brunch. 

He was surprised to find the kitchen empty, Zhenya not anywhere in his line of sight. It wasn’t until he took his meal of fruit and cheese and tea out to the veranda that he spotted him. In fact, he almost missed him, if Zhenya hadn’t stepped out from a tree at the very moment Sid was looking, he would have missed him. He seemed to be meandering, lost in his thoughts, walking through the trees that lined the clearing where the lodge was situated. 

Sidney yearned to join him, but he knew he wasn’t up for that yet. Besides, it seemed that Zhenya was enjoying the solitude. 

Before he could stop it, a thought crept across his mind, one he thought he had put to rest, especially with Zhenya’s confession the night before. _What if he was thinking of Katya?_ Sidney tried not to doubt his husband, not so soon after he had made himself so vulnerable, but Sidney lingered on the thought of Katya. For the first time, though, it wasn’t negative. He wasn’t comparing himself, but he still felt as though this was an aspect of their relationship that filled him with confusion and a doubt he did not want to put on himself or Zhenya. Resolving himself, Sidney noted that this was something he needed to speak with Zhenya about and winding himself up with his own assumptions was not going to help. He sat back, focusing his thoughts on how thankful he was for his husband as he tracked him in his wanderings through the woods. 

~~

Sidney practically pounced on his husband when he returned to the lodge. He had worked himself up about all of the things he wanted to talk with Zhenya about, and had tried to tackle the necessity of learning how to love him. He was vibrating with an anxiousness that he attempted to push aside. He had spent the time Zhenya was away to open himself to this conversation and move past the fear that it would not be want he would want to hear. 

He followed Zhenya around the kitchen as he fixed himself some coffee and he looked at Sidney with raised brows over the rim of the mug as he took his first sip.

“Out with it, Sid,” he teased. “Something has you wound up.”

“How did you love two people?” Sidney asked, striving to get to the heart of what had his heart troubled. He asked it quickly, eyes locked on Zhenya, gauging his reaction. 

He was surprised by Zhenya’s reaction. His face softened and he smiled at Sidney. 

“It helps when both people are very easy to love,” His smile turned thoughtful. “Thinking of it now, I can’t really picture Katya and myself growing old together. Even as young as I am now, she still feels like the partner of my youth. Sidney, you, on the other hand, are going to be here. Be with me. We share something very different from what I had with Katya, and I don’t want to go backward to that time. I still miss her and think of her, but you are all I want.”

He was serious, and his eyes were intense as they took in Sidney. Sidney couldn’t look away, even if he wanted. His very breath was being held captive by Zhenya’s words. 

“It’s been almost a year since we married, and I never would have believed it then,” he continued, still soft in his seriousness. “But it’s true today.”

Sidney couldn’t answer with words for a moment, and simply nodded. 

“I’ve wanted to ask that for a while. I feel like I let too much time go by, but I didn’t know how to ask without upsetting you.”

Zhenya grimaced. “I have given you plenty of reason to think I would have reacted badly if you had before now.” He smiled again at Sidney, before he continued. “I’m glad you trust me now to ask. To be honest, I don’t mention her because I don’t want you to think that she is constantly on my mind. She’s not. You are. I’m more than happy to answer your questions, because Katya is part of the person I am today.”

“I fear that I do things so differently from her and you don’t like that,” Sidney said. “I’ve never been married to a prince before, so I catch myself thinking that Katya must have had it all together.”

“It was really the opposite, actually. She was shy and nowhere near as willing as you are to make time with the people and engage with the public. She was getting better, but at first it was very difficult for her to be invited to parties and balls.”

Zhenya paused for a long moment, and he seemed to be chewing on his words before he said them. 

“I want to be honest with you here, Sid,” he said, his voice deeper with seriousness. “I don’t feel like this now, but there was a time after we were first married that I was angry with you because everyone liked you so quickly. I thought that they may be comparing Katya in a negative light, but that wasn’t true.”

“Except for you.”

“I have, but not how you are thinking. I don’t look for ways that you are falling short and think that Katya could have done better. In most things, you handle them better than she did. If anyone is more suited to be the spouse of the prince, I’ve yet to meet them.” Zhenya smiled at him. “My parents knew just what they were doing.”

“Were you mad at them for...us?”

“Not before we married, but afterward, yes, definitely. They wanted me to make an effort, and the only effort I put into our marriage was to get as far away from it as possible.” His smile turned sad. “I have and am still paying for that.”

Sid shook his head. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“You were on your way to loving me, Sid, I know it as sure as you are here in front of me. But I couldn’t say those words, couldn’t commit in they way you needed, so you pulled back.”

Sidney sat stunned. He might just be right. He _had_ been looking for signs from him, and hadn’t recognized that in himself. The morning he had woken early and watched him sleep came to the front of his mind. He was further surprised that they were thinking of the same thing. 

“Do you remember a few weeks ago, just before the bomb?” Zhenya asked. “You had asked me about our night before, and I grouchily asked you why I made you feel unfit?”

“I was just thinking of that.”

“That morning was not first time I had done something or said something that hurt you. That morning was the last moment that I needed to solidify my resolve in learning to love you. I was told over and over not to forget Katya and to make room for you. That’s what I did, made room for you in my heart. It took me nearly losing you too, to realize that you just about fill it.”

Sidney had to look away from the intensity of Zhenya’s gaze. His own gaze was becoming blurred by tears.

“I don’t know what to say to that,” his voice was raw. “I just don’t know what to do.”

“Why do you have to do anything?”

“Because I need to love you. I need to _choose_ to love you.”

Zhenya’s head went back as he laughed. Sidney stared at him, mouth open. 

“I can’t believe you are laughing about this!”

Zhenya grinned. “If you could only see your earnest face, Sid. You are bound and determined, but that’s not how this works.”

Sidney felt completely lost. Zhenya took his hand, matching his earnestness. 

“Listen to me, Sid. I’ve done a lot of thinking on this. I can’t imagine your care for me being any more perfect that it already it. You go out of your way to see after my comfort and needs. You make yourself available at any moment. You are careful in what you say and do.”

Sidney was frozen, watching Zhenya. He squeezed his hand. 

“The words would be amazing to hear, Sidney, but they don’t make or break us. They don’t make what we already have _less._ Don’t _try_ to love me, just keep doing what you have been. Keep talking with me just like now. Get mad, tell me when you like something or don’t. Let me into your world as much as you are able, and always be honest about how you feel. Everything else will take care of itself.”

Once again, this wonderful man had rescued Sidney. Sid had set up a standard in his mind that wasn’t his own, definitely not his husband’s. He found himself relaxing in relief, to the point of tears again. 

~~

At the sight of Sidney fighting back tears, Zhenya found himself there right along with him. Sidney caught his eye and gave him a misty smile.

“Why are you crying?”

Zhenya could only shrug. How could he explain when he barely understood it himself. He just loved this man. It was a deep understanding that he was the man that was given just for him. That Sidney was the one who could fill his heart when he thought it would never be full again. Sidney was someone he could cherish and grow with until they were old. 

“How about a snuggle and maybe a nap?” He asked instead.

Sidney huffed a laugh, wiping his eyes. “Yeah, that sounds nice.”

As they settled in on the sofa, he thought not for the first time that Sidney always smelled nice. Sometimes that made him passionate, and sometimes he just wanted to hold him. Now was one of those times. He tugged Sidney in, settling him close enough to feel him breathe. 

~~

A few weeks after their getaway to the mountains, Sidney was distracted from the book he was reading when he felt a fluttering sensation from his stomach. Looking down in wonderment, he held his breath, hoping to feel it again. Soon enough, the fluttering came again, and he laughed out loud in delight. Putting his hand over the place he could feel from inside, he realized their baby wasn’t big enough for him or, _god,_ Zhenya, to feel yet.

He couldn’t help stroking over his stomach, humming under his breath, thinking of little feet kicking away inside him. 

~~

Zhenya grinned as he watched his husband walk around the kitchen, practically on the heels of Flower as he made the couple lunch. He had always heard that people expecting tended to waddle, but he found Sid still moved like he had on the ice, all poise and confidence. The sight of him, belly rounded, cheeks flushed and happy, did nothing to cool his blood. If anything it ramped him up even more. 

He was just joining Sidney after meetings all morning and he was a sight for sore eyes. 

Sidney caught his smile and answered it back with his own. 

“Looking for me?”

“You know it,” Zhenya replied. “I was hungry, and I knew right where you would be.”

Sidney’s cheeks flushed again. He was always in the kitchen these days, usually at the big table with baby things spread around him, feet propped up on another chair, chatting happily away with Carol Lynne or Flower as they worked. He hadn’t felt any of the morning sickness until recently, unless he was eating. Where there was food, there Sidney would be also. 

“What are we having?”

This time, it was Flower who answered him, “Tacos!” He accompanied his words with a heaping plate, each taco overfilled with meat and veggies. It smelled fantastic. 

“No fish sandwiches or peaches?” It had all Sidney had wanted for days. He couldn’t help but be glad for the variety. Sidney’s eyes sparkled in mirth as he watched Zhenya tuck away the first taco in a few bites. 

“Not today,” Sidney said in between his own bites. “But Flower made an amazing chocolate cake earlier that has been testing my taste buds all morning.”

Flower smiled broadly at Sidney and winked. 

“Only the best. I have two to impress now.”

Zhenya was relieved to see how well the staff took care of Sidney and how Sidney allowed them to care for him in return. Sidney had confessed to him a few nights ago that they felt like a part of his family now, and seeing Sidney so comfortable and happy made his own heart fill with warmth for this man all over again. 

Feeling that he was much too far away from Sidney, he moved to the chair beside him, snuggling up close. He felt Sidney sigh against him.

“What was that sigh for?”

“Hmmm? Oh, just glad that you are around so much. Most people don’t have their spouse around all of the time like I have you. Just feeling lucky, I guess.”

Zhenya couldn’t help but squeezing Sidney for that, kissing his ear. Sidney hadn’t said the words to him yet, but Zhenya knew that Sidney was feeling them. He had told Zhenya that he didn’t like the idea of spontaneous, love at first sight. He had always hoped for a romance that bloomed over time, when the couple was sure and knew the time was right. It was one of the things that he loved most about Sidney: he moved when he had put a lot of thought into each word and decision. It’s how he knew he could trust Sidney with his heart, even without hearing that Sidney felt the same. 

For all that Sidney was cautious about decisions, he was open to change and suggestions, which was good, as their baby was coming soon, even if they weren’t ready. Zhenya couldn’t wait to meet this little person who was a blend of them both.

~~

Sidney huffed as he pushed himself up from the sofa to move to their bed for a change of scenery. As his due date drew nearer, his doctor had put him back on bed rest, which limited his views pretty exclusively. Just as he made it to the threshold to their bedroom, he felt a release and suddenly he was soaked from his hips to his knees.

He stared down in shock, thinking the pregnancy had finally done his bladder in and he had pissed himself. When reality set in, he was shouting before a contraction took his breath away. 

“Zhenya! It’s happening!”

Zhenya, who had been deep in some paperwork in the little office nook off to the side of their parlor, came flying into the room, eyes wider than Sidney had ever seen. 

“Are you all - Sid! Your water broke!”

Just a glimpse of his husband and his own distress had calmed Sid down. He breathed through the contraction, which was not so much as painful, as it was uncomfortable. Everything tightened up, and his back _ached_. He started taking stock. He would like to get changed, so he headed that way. 

“But it’s - here’s the hospital bag. Do you have every - Wait, it’s too early! We’re two weeks until the due date!”

Zhenya had worked himself into hysterics by this time, and as soon as he was within arms reach, Sidney cupped his face in his hands, pulling him down for a sweet kiss. 

“Zhenya, this baby is ready, so we have to be,” he said, voice soft and firm. “Why don’t you call the doctor and Duper while I change?”

Zhenya nodded, eyes still huge. Soon they were ready to go and where whisked off to the the hospital. With the death grip that Zhenya had on his hand, Sidney was glad that they had a driver and a complement of security to help. 

~~

It was nice to be in the competent care of the medical staff, but Zhenya hated to see Sidney in pain. Sidney was stoic with each contraction, which at first didn’t manifest in a sharp pain, but as an ache in his back that built as the contractions came closer together. Soon he was in a constant state of pain, with cresting waves of intensity with the rising of the contraction. 

It was nearly midnight when the doctor spoke with the royal couple. 

“We have a unique situation, Sidney, in that the bottom of your uterus is contracting upward and the top is pushing down. Where it thinks it’s pushing this baby, I don’t know. We could wait until things sort themselves on their own, but time isn’t on our side. The longer we wait, the more dangerous it is for you and the baby. I know you wanted to see if a natural birth would be possible, but at this point, we need to prep you for a c-section.”

“Is the baby okay?”

“The baby’s vitals are all stable, but I am worried that will change if we don’t do something soon.”

Sidney looked at Zhenya, who had moved close and was kneeling next to the bed, his hands clasped tightly around Sid’s right. His heart ached in his chest as he saw the determination in Sidney’s gaze, even as he sought reassurance. He nodded in encouragement. 

“Sid, you can’t keep this up.”

Tears came to Sidney’s eyes, but his resolute “whatever is best for the baby,” made matters clear, and events were set into motion. Within the next hour, they were ready to go into surgery. 

The king and queen, along with Sidney’s parents and Taylor, were passed on the way to the operating theater, everyone with hopeful smiles and encouragement on their lips. 

It felt like only minutes later that Zhenya heard their baby cry for the first time. 

He stared down at Sidney, his face flushed, and wild look of joy on his face. Zhenya couldn’t contain himself, he surged forward, kissing Sidney deeply, murmuring his praise between kisses, until Sidney was huffing at him, pushing him back.

“Zhenya! The baby!”

Zhenya turned, seeing a nurse waiting for them to finish with a wide smile her on her face. 

“A girl,” the nurse said, as she gently deposited their baby - _A girl! -_ into Sidney’s arms. Sidney smiled down at her, tracing his fingers over her nose. They both huffed out an incredulous laugh as she let out a squeaky cry and scrunched up her face. 

“Zhenya, a girl,” Sidney said softly, awe in every syllable. His husband’s eyes met his. “Still think Nadezhda is right? Our Nadya?”

Zhenya nodded, his voice cracking a bit, “Princess Nadezhda Evgeniovna Malkin.”

Sidney smiled a tired smile back at him, sighing down at Nadya as she let out a huge yawn. 

“Prince Evgeni, want to come with us to get her cleaned up?” The same nurse said, gently easing their little girl from Sidney. 

“Yes! Of course,” Zhenya said, before turning and kissing Sidney. “We’ll be right back.” He was sure his grin was splitting his face in two as he followed the nurse. This was the best day of his life. 

~~

Sidney rolled over, blinking as sunlight streaming in from the windows woke him from the deepest sleep he’d had since they had come home five days previous. It had been a lot of late (and very early) feedings and diaper changes. And even though Sidney had a household of help, he wanted to spend every moment he could with his daughter. He had insisted on taking care of as many needs that Nadya had as much as he could. Which is how he knew something was certainly amiss if he had slept this long without interruption. 

He sat up and stretched, before tugging on a robe and walking quietly over to the nursery in case Nadya had indeed slept all this time. He came to a complete halt when he found Zhenya pacing the length of the room, Nadya held securely in his arms. 

“And someday, Nadya,” he heard him say, “I’ll tell you all about how I fell in love with your daddy. How he was just what I needed. I hope that you will be able to find someone just right for you, too.”

Sidney was not an idiot. But all of his intelligence had not done anything up to this point. With eyes that saw things crystal clear for the first time, he walked up to the man that was his husband and prince. 

Zhenya saw him coming and turned to him with a smile before looking back at their daughter. “Isn’t she just something?”

“Yes, she is,” Sidney said, his heart in his throat. But his eyes were for his husband, tracing over his features as he looked back at Sidney. He paused, catching Sidney’s intent gaze. 

“I love you.”

Sidney watched as Zhenya froze, staring at Sidney. Then he turned his back on Sidney, walking to the crib, he gently laid Nadya down. He turned back to Sidney, his face open and vulnerable he came near to Sidney, close but not touching. 

“Say it again.”

“I love you.”

Zhenya’s hand moved up to frame his face. “I wouldn’t change a single thing from our story, Sid. You show me love every day, and for that reason I didn’t need the words.” Zhenya’s eyes searched his for a moment. “But I have to say,” he whispered, “they are the most wonderful thing to hear.”

“Oh, Zhenya.” Sidney’s arms went around him, and he held on as if he would never let go. He was so wonderful. He had probably loved him for a long time, but not until he’d seen Zhenya standing there, holding their daughter and talking to her about _them_ , did he know that it was time. 

“I didn’t take too long?”

“No,” Zhenya breathed into his ear, his own arms tight around him. “The timing had to be right for you. Like I said, you’ve been saying to me with your actions for some time now.”

Sidney moved back to look at his face. “But you’ve said it to me so many times, and I couldn’t. Why do you think - “

“I don’t know, “ Zhenya interrupted with a smile. “Can’t say I really care, now.”

Sidney had to kiss him for that. They had just gotten started when the baby began to fuss. Zhenya moved as thought to let Sidney go, but he held on tight. 

“Don’t you want to get her?”

“I’ve heard that it’s good for babies to cry a little,” Sidney said, smiling. His hands found their way into Zhenya’s hair and guided him back to his mouth. “She’ll be alright for a few more seconds.”

Zhenya only chuckled before kissing him right back. 

 

~ The End ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is! FINISHED!!
> 
> The longest thing I have written and finished since 2008. 
> 
> Thank you to all of my supporters! This would not have happened without you. Thank you for reading, commenting, and leaving kudos. You are all the best. 
> 
> Special Thanks to: Hazel_3017, ananon23, anon8771, northisnotup, and shmorgas for your help at various parts of completion. You are all fantastic people. 
> 
> For further writing and hockey, you can find me at My [Tumblr](http://theminiummark.tumblr.com/). My ask box is open for questions, comments, or prompts!

**Author's Note:**

> Based on The Princess by Lori Wick


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